


Counting Stars

by LivetoDream333 (orphan_account)



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: AU, Angst, BAMF Q, Character Death, Developing Relationship, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, First Time, Fluff, Frankly Q couldn't give a damn, Human Trafficking, Hurt/Comfort, James doesn't like the plan, James doesn't take well to secrets, M/M, Mission Fic, Possessive James Bond, Q doesn't like to fly, Q is brilliant, Rape/Non-con Elements, Secrets, Seizures, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Tension, Torture, Virgin Q, at all, only a little bit, ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2018-01-16 18:13:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 71,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1357141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/LivetoDream333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"James had been betrayed before and it had hurt, but somehow Q’s betrayal hurt so much worse, cut so much further into his being that it would have been hard to breathe had he not been so angry. Q had lied to him. Q had kept far too big of a secret from him. James couldn’t trust him anymore, not even in the smallest capacity."</p><p>In other words, Q and James fall in love and have to try to make it work with one hell of a secret that hangs between them and enemies who have no idea what they're dealing with.<br/>(Chapters named after lyrics from the OneRepublic song Counting Stars. If anyone would be willing to Beta read for me, that would be absolutely lovely.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lately I've Been Losing Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> I have my first Beta Reader ever. Thank you so much accidentallyarted! :D

Lately I've Been Losing Sleep

James walked into the flat and Q slowly looked up at him from the sofa, over his mug. The right side of his lips lifted into a warm, pleased smile. “Hello.”

“Hello yourself.” James replied before pulling off his coat, leaning over the back of the sofa and pressing a warm kiss against Q’s forehead. Q tipped his head back as he kissed his throat.

“How were the States?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know.” James chuckled warmly. “You always know.”

“Well, yes, but I wasn’t asking about the mission.” Q smiled.

“Chilly and lonely. How’s England?” James sighed.

Q hummed as James ran his fingers through his unruly hair, "Rainy and lonely."

"I’m going to get washed up,” James kissed Q’s  lips gently, “I’ll be right out.” James promised, the intention in his words obvious by the smirk on his face.

“You’d better be,” Q said, his cheeks warming slightly. James winked and threw his jacket over the back of the sofa as he walked away.  Q watched him walk away and quickly put his mug down and got up, hopping over the arm of the sofa to catch the spy before he made the bathroom door. He grabbed James by his shoulders and spun him around before pressing his back against the wall. “What’s the point on taking a shower if you’ll just get dirty again?” Q asked with a smirk before he began to nibble at the blonde’s neck, unbuttoning his shirt as two, calloused, hands worked their way under Q’s shirt.

“Sounds promising. Are you sure you’re up for the task?” James taunted, pulling their hips together, seeking friction.

“You won’t be able to walk tomorrow.” Q promised attacking James’ mouth, still holding the agent against the wall. James could have easily overpowered the brunette, but he definitely didn’t want to pull away.

“I hope that’s a promise.” James groaned against Q’s lips. “Time for the bed.” James insisted, leading Q to their room, managing to slip out of his shirt on the way. Q pushed him down on the bed and straddled his hips. “I should come home from missions more often.”

“I’ll be more than willing to welcome you home properly every time.” Q promised. James lifted his hands and stroked Q’s hair.

“Is it alright…?”

“I trust you. You know that.” Q promised. The question was obvious even unspoken. James wanted to take Q’s glasses off, but it always made Q uneasy, having as poor vision as he did. He didn’t have to worry about being half-blind with James in the room, he felt safe. Besides, the glasses got in the way in the moment, Q didn’t want anything in the way. James gently pulled his glasses off before pulling him down into a heated kiss.

“Your eyes are truly remarkable, Gabe.” James sighed.

“If only they were remarkable and useful.” Q chuckled, his hands on James’ face, his way of seeing clearly without his glasses. He could see vague shapes and colors up close, but when it came to expressions, his hands were the best way to see when his glasses were gone.

“They’re a part of you and the loveliest shade of jade I’ve ever seen.”

“Are you just particularly particularly sappy today or is that your way of trying to make me move faster?” Q teased him with a slow shift of his hips, “accidentally” rubbing both of them together, torturing him with a smirk.

“Both.” James said before he rolled on top of Q. “You’re wearing too much.” James set about remedying the mistake.

_Ring!_

“Ignore it, Q. They don’t matter right now. Just you and me.” James whispered against his chest. Q was perfectly content with ignoring whatever crisis was happening. He arched into James at the kisses and bites being peppered on his chest.

“James…” Q groaned. He needed this, needed James.

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

Q jolted up and slammed his hand down on the alarm clock. He leaned back against the pillow for a moment, taking a moment to collect himself. He didn’t have the luxury to have such dreams or feelings. Besides, Jam—007 was out of reach, far out of reach. Q got up and quickly got around for the day, his first priority being a cold shower, the second one that week. It made Q nervous that he was thinking that much about a co-worker, especially when he knew he could never have a normal relationship with anyone, never.

Q didn’t bother with trying to make his hair neat, he’d learned long ago that the task took too much time for it to be a practical part of his routine, especially when he had hardly any free time to begin with. It was always a poking point for Moneypenny.

“Have a good night did you?” She asked when Q walked past her. “Hair like that just isn’t natural, you know.”

“What part of it still being damp don’t you get?” Q asked, subconsciously trying to flatten it a little bit.

“So who was it?” Eve winked.

“Eve…”

“Was she pretty? No…not quite right. Oh my God, was he handsome?” Eve’s eyes twinkled with mischief.

“This is my natural hair, Eve, I promise.” Q said, his face flushed uncontrollably.

“So you do prefer men.” She smirked when he didn’t correct her.

“Not hardly an appropriate conversation at work, Miss Moneypenny.”

“Look at you going all formal. Look, if that is your natural hair then I should find someone to tame it for you. Perhaps getting laid will help it flatten out a bit, honestly you never do anything the right way around.”  

“You don’t need to do that, and I’d prefer it if you don’t bring it up again.” Q insisted. “If you don’t mind there is actual work to get done today.” Eve smirked. 

800Q8

“Bond, on your left there’s a door, I’ll have it open for you in five seconds.”

“Good to hear your voice again, Q. And how was your night?”

“Better than yours I’d imagine.” _Why is everyone asking me that?!_ Q thought angrily.

“Well, I was shot at. So I suppose anything would be better. What were you up to?” The smirk in his voice was obvious. Seeing as Q was already enchanted with the man, flirting was never a helpful thing. He tried to face it level headed though, knowing that Bond flirted with everything that moved.

“Poe, Earl Grey, and the most sleep I’ve gotten in weeks.”

“No friends over?”

“Do you imagine I have time for friends, 007?” Q scoffed. “What do you think I do at all hours of the day? You do realize that the work never stops for me, don’t you?”

“You poor thing…” James teased.

“I like my job, thank you very much. It keeps my mind busy, it’s terribly dull otherwise.” Q sighed. “On your right, should be a suitcase.”

“I see it.”

“Don’t move it, moving it will trigger an explosion. I need you to look at the golden lock on it, how many tumblers are there?”

“Seven.”

“That’s a lot of choices...but I’m pretty sure it’s 9178053.”

“Pretty sure?”

“Very sure, 007.”

“’Get on the train’ sure or-” The rough voice was both teasing and serious.

“Put the bloody numbers in, Bond.” Q rolled his eyes. “9178053.” Q said slowly. “Open it, remove the memory drive and get the hell out of there, the next round is in three minutes.”

“Got it.” 

“Good, go out the way you came, the path is clear. Three blocks to the north there is a car waiting for you, keys are in the glove compartment, it’s coded to your left pinky finger.”

“That’s a bit specific.”

“You’re left pinky has a scar on it that is minuet enough for a sensor to catch but any man made attempt to copy it would fail, at least any idiot’s attempt. I could do it, of course.”

“Well, aren’t you getting a little personal.”

“It’s my job to know the safest ways to get agents out and I would love to continue to excel at my job, so I will continue to pay attention to details, personal or not.” Q said in his most stoic tone. “There will be a destination programmed in the GPS, go the route it takes you to the hotel, not the fastest bloody one, I’m having you go that way for a reason. I will have a plane arrive by 0330 hours to bring you back to England. Rest while you can.”

“Thank you, Q.”

“Goodbye, 007.”

800Q8

James tried to close his eyes, but he couldn’t quite manage it. The voice that was always in his ear hadn’t left. It was still whispering, though not anything James had ever actually heard Q utter before. In fact, he wasn’t sure Q would have ever heard some of the words the voice was whispering, but the voice sounded a helluva lot like Q. James couldn’t stop thinking about the mad boffin who was professional and calm at all times, even when combating James’ shameless flirts.

What was James doing thinking about the man that way? Having thoughts about a man who had spent several weeks attempting to convince the rest of his branch that he was, in fact, thirty-one years old and not sixteen—of course, he was thirty three now. It wasn’t normal for James to have the strange feelings to begin with, lust wasn’t common when you had to use it as a tool, and James wasn’t (hadn’t ever been) into men. 

He wanted to punch himself at the distinction. What would a handsome, smart man want with an agent who was nearly ten years older than him? Did Q even have a life outside of work? Everyone teased him for his sex-hair, but everyone knew he didn’t get it from anyone, not with his schedule, so was he even…into relationships? His nearly empty file showed nothing on relationships—then again his file didn’t even show his name or where he came from, just his address and psych and medical evaluations as well as his field testing scores, and that was nearly out of James’ reach it was so classified.

James was undeniably drawn to Q, the mystery, the quirks, the tone of voice, always so similar but differing in subtle ways that spoke volumes of his mood at any given moment. The way he acted… Simply everything about him drew James in like a moth to a flame, but why would such a luminescent being want or need something that was broken and dark?

This was James’ second sleepless night in a week, wasted away on thoughts and questions surrounding the enigmatic Quartermaster.

800Q8

“Hello, 007.” Q said simply. “What are you doing in Q Branch?” He asked after a moment of typing, his fingers going still. “You aren’t supposed to be in, last I heard you’re on leave for a few weeks.”

“Why are you still here?”

“Working, obviously, something not right about this new design.”

“It’s two in the morning.” James stated. Q jumped and looked down at the watch on his wrist.

“Oh, well, that’s lovely.” He said before going back to typing, his fingers clacking across the keys.

“When did you last sleep?”

“It’s Thursday isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“I think I had a kip yesterday, short one on the sofa in my office, then 001 got into a shooting match…” Q paused and looked up at James. “Why are you here, what does it matter to you how well I sleep?”

“Because you could pass out on your feet.”

“Not likely.” Q commented as he continued. James grabbed Q’s shoulder gently and Q tensed, pulling away.

“Sorry, you should really go home, get some rest. People depend on you, you know.”

“I’m well aware. Why are you suddenly concerned?” Q asked, trying not to feel flattered by James’ attentions. The man had showed up at two in the morning for him. Q’s heart sped up slightly. 

“Can’t anyone worry about you? Seriously, this can wait. Come on, I’ll take you home.”

“No use now,” Q commented. “I don’t fall asleep easily, it would be ridiculous if I went home, it would take too long and if I did manage to go to sleep I would probably only manage about an hour of sleep, which would just make me more tired.”

“Excuses… Look, come on just…sleep, you look like hell.” James commented.

“Thanks, Bond.” Q rolled his eyes. He returned to his work and James rolled his eyes before he grabbed the smaller man and pulled him over his shoulder. “What in the hell are you doing, 007?” Q’s whole body was tense for a moment and he fought tooth and nail to get James’ hand off of his wrist, where James' hand had wrapped around bare flesh, just under his shirt sleeve.

“Making sure you get some sleep, come on.”

“Put me down,” Q ordered, flushing pink.

“Nope, this is what friends are for, making sure the other doesn’t kill themselves.”

“Well then you’ve had some shitty friends, Bond. Put me down, really. I can walk you know.”

“You run away and I will hunt you down and drag you back.” 

“Fine, fine, just put me down.” Q insisted, squirming.

James set him down slowly and eyed him carefully before Q rolled his eyes and they both headed towards the exit of the building.

“I’m telling you, it’s worthless. I don’t sleep well.”

“Why is that?” James wondered, not missing the tension that coiled in Q’s shoulders.

“No one’s quite sure, I was told it might be insomnia when I was younger. I haven’t really checked on it. It doesn’t bother me too much.” Q shrugged, purposefully trying to relax so that James wouldn’t catch the tension, but he already had. James nodded and led Q towards his car. “I-I can take the tube.”

“The tube won’t be running at this hour, not to your flat, so you would likely have to walk several blocks, not risking it. Come on, I’ll drive you.” Q fidgeted for a minute before he got into the car, sliding down into the seat, James slipping in next to him. The ride was silent and slightly tense between the two of them. James didn't understand, usually Q was fine with silence, but he was fidgety and jumpy and his eyes didn't seem to stop moving, until they stopped four and a half minutes in.

“Where—?”

“You said it right, your flat’s over half an hour away, not worth the drive. I’ve got a spare room you can sleep in or the couch if you feel uncomfortable.” He said, noticing just how twitchy Q seemed to be when he was outside of his element, away from his precious computers.

“Bond—”

“It’s practical, come on.” James called.

Q remained in the car for a moment and took a deep breath before he got out, following James into the building. The flat was clean, almost in a hotel-like manner, but the furniture was modern and elegant, furnished much better than Q’s more practical tastes allowed him to furnish his own flat.

“Would you like a drink, it might help you sleep?”

“I don’t drink.” Q commented simply, not knowing quite what to do aside from fidget as he stood in James’ flat. James looked at him with wide eyes.

“You don’t drink, you don’t sleep around, you don’t sleep, you hardly ever eat, what exactly do you do in your spare time?”

“There isn’t much of it to begin with, spare time. I like to read, listen to music, play piano…” Q shrugged.

“You can play?” James wondered, a bit stunned at that piece of information.

“I taught myself a while back, one of my foster’s had a piano. Sorry… Um where do you want me?” Q asked shyly, blushing slightly when he realized—too late—the innuendo behind his words.

 _In my bed, preferably out of that cardigan… Definitely out of that cardigan. In one of my shirts in the morning.._. The thoughts ran through James’ head, but he kept them in. He’d startled himself. He’d never had those thoughts about anyone, not even… “One second.” James left the room for a moment, bringing back a blanket and a pillow. “I can set up the spare bedroom if—”

“It’s fine here.” Q promised, awkwardly relieving James of the items. “Thank you.”

“Not a problem, you should sleep more often than you do, England would probably fall if you collapsed on the job.”

“You say probably…I think you mean would.”

“Overconfident.” James teased.

“Realistic,” Q said as he sat down on the couch, putting the pillow and blanket down next to him.

“Get some rest.” James smiled slightly before he left the room shutting off the lights as he went. Q sighed and shook his head before pulling off the cardigan and his button-down. Sleeping in his shirts bothered him, outside of times of pure exhaustion—or when he slept on his office sofa—he couldn’t bear to wear an irritating shirt to sleep, it only kept him awake longer. He rolled on his side, facing the sofa, positioning himself so his glasses wouldn’t come off in his sleep, if he ever got to sleep.

Q felt comfortable and warm, the couch was far kinder on him than the one in his office, and it smelt like James, which was definitely a plus. Q felt himself slowly relaxing, tension leaving him, his eyelids growing heavy. He almost felt the hope that he could fall asleep quickly.

Then he jolted upright, looking around in shock and worry, his hands covering his face, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He took several deep breaths and opened his eyes. “Just close your eyes, dammit.” Q hissed at himself before lowering himself back down, curling up and staring blankly at the back of the sofa for nearly an hour before his body slowly lost tension and he fell asleep, not realizing that James had seen the way he’d bolted upright an hour earlier with questioning eyes.

800Q8

“Q?” James called gently. Q sat up quickly and looked around, his green eyes wide and searching. “You alright there?”

“Sorry, um, forgot where I was for a moment.”

“Do you always sleep in your glasses?”

“You try waking up half-blind some time. It’s not a pleasant feeling, Bond.” Q commented. For being someone who’d just woken up, he was heavily alert, his voice just as smooth as always, if only a little bit deeper with sleep. James couldn’t help but notice that Q’s hair was just as messy as always, perhaps a small bit flat on one side where he’d rested his head. He also couldn’t help but notice Q’s nearly concave middle and he desperately wanted to touch, just once, the smooth white skin.

“I suppose it wouldn’t be.” James conceded, doing his best not to stare as Q got up to pull on his shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love.


	2. Dreaming About the Things that We Could Be…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this nasty habit of not saying this, but just so everyone knows, I don't own James Bond or Q or anything of the sort.  
> I'm happy to see the kudos and bookmarks. Thank you everyone. :D

 

It was awkward for a month or so after that night. James felt that it was one-sided at first, because Q had seemed still perfectly in control of himself, but he had noticed a shift in the way Q spoke in his ear, a little bit less formal, a little more open to teasing, he’d even openly flirted once—immediately going back to work with a bit of a stammer afterwards, but he’d flirted nonetheless. It was a bit tense between the two of them, and James wasn’t the only one who’d noticed it.

Eve had done nothing but tease Q relentlessly, asking him constantly who it was he was smitten with. James had heard Q shut her down several times, but the slight quiver to his voice gave him away, just a little bit. No interrogator could know the difference between the Quartermaster’s many inflections on his usually stoic tone, James could, he’d studied the voice, relied on it too many times in hectic situations, heard the comforting edge to it when he’d gotten in over his head. James really wanted to hear a less stoic voice, he’d gotten a glimpse of it a few times, but he wanted to hear it much more often. James found himself noticing more than just the Quartermaster’s voice, he’d even noticed the scent that lingered from his aftershave and showers when he came back from an assignment and had nearly ran into the boffin. Old Spice smelt warm and a bit—very—sexy on him when combined with his own natural scent. James had no idea where the boffin bought the damn stuff (James had only ever smelt it in America) but it smelt divine on him. It was a little more of an old fashioned scent, but it made him appear more his age. James loved it…

James needed to talk to Q, because Q would most certainly never say anything to him, but he didn’t know how to do it. He walked up to a desk in Q-branch after a mission and smiled gently.

“What can I do for you, James?” Eve asked.

“I have a question Miss Moneypenny.”

“Obviously,” she smiled. “What is it?”

“Has the boffin eaten anything recently?”

“No…actually. I think the last thing he ate was lunch—”

“Not too bad for him.” James started.

“Yesterday.” Eve finished. “He had someone pick up something for him yesterday after I shouted at him for not eating. I should probably do it again, that boy’s going to drop one of these days. He hardly ever remembers to eat when he’s working. If he didn’t love tea so much I’d think he’d be dead already. I think that’s how he manages it, we’ve learned to never let his mug go dry, and the poor new guy, tried to give him coffee. You’d be surprised how viscous Q can get when his mug’s ‘contaminated with sludge’.” Eve chuckled before she smiled a knowing smirk and raised an eyebrow at James. “Why are you so interested in our dear Quartermaster’s eating habits, James?”

“No reason.” James smiled.

“He prefers Italian food.” Eve smiled triumphantly. “Not the sort who likes fancy things, but I’m sure he’d appreciate being pampered once in a while, maybe a fourth-date thing.”

“Do I want to know how you know this?”

“He’s my boss (well, you know what I mean)” she officially worked for M, but often she ran back and forth between M, Q, and the double-os. “I pay attention, he always eats more if we’ve ordered Italian in. You can tell by how he works he isn’t the fancy type, too practical for that.”

“Why are you helping me?”

“Because you’re both bloody adorable and you’d be cute together.” Eve grinned. “He doesn’t like unexpected touches, don’t know why, but he’s always a bit jumpy if you touch him unexpectedly. He’s fine when he sees it coming though, I think it might have something to do with his eyes, poor thing knows what it’s like to be blind so I suppose he’d be very hyper aware of things.”

“Any other tips?” James asked with a smirk, leaning against her desk.

“Yeah, hurt him and I’ll stick my stiletto up your arse, and it’s serrated.” She threatened seriously, leaning forward to glare at him.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” James winked before he walked away, heading for Q’s office, knocking on the door.

“Come in, it’s open…” Q said, it was his concentrating voice. James slowly opened the door and saw Q working through a magnifying glass, his precise fingers manipulating delicate tools to put together a piece of technology smaller than the top of his pinky. James stared at it for a moment before realizing it was an earpiece, a much smaller one than he was used to seeing. “One second, if I lose this one wire I’ll have to start over again, so just a moment.” James didn’t say anything, giving Q the chance to finish what he was doing. The wires looked unbelievably thin and brittle, but Q was managing to work with them with ease. He smiled triumphantly after a moment before he put the tools in his hands down and looked up, shock briefly crossing his face. “Oh, hello, 007. What can I do for you? Found another piece of shrapnel from that last radio I gave you?”

“Unfortunately no, Q.” James smirked.

“Unfortunate indeed, that’s going to piss management off.”

“I’m sure your precious budget will remain intact.”

“Yet to be seen.” Q rolled his eyes. “What can I help you with?”

“I’ve been told you haven’t eaten in a while.”

“I’m working, on some rather delicate things at the moment, I can’t be bothered with food. The wires themselves won’t break, but they are remarkably hard to place in their proper positions.”

“Perhaps when you’re done with work, then. You get off in a few hours don’t you?” James asked pleasantly. Q’s eyebrows pulled together quickly for a brief moment, before his eyes widened in understanding and shock.

“I don’t think that’s the best idea, as much as I am flattered by your interest.” Q said, a faint blush tinging his ears.

“Because we work together? Q, that really isn’t a—”

“I’m well aware of the higher-ups endorsement of internal MI6 relationships because they are easier than outside ones, but that’s not what this is about.”

“Oh, I’m…sorry...” Q was a good looking, smart man, why wouldn’t he have someone already?

“It’s not you or anyone else, it’s me to be quite frank. I’m not good at erm…things of this nature so I’m sparing you before you realize the truth.”

“What truth?”

“I’m a complete—” He stopped himself from saying the word freak. “I’m just not good for relationships, I’m flattered, really I am, but honestly I just sort of have a habit of ruining things so, I try not to…well, you know. Um, thank you though.” Q cleared his throat awkwardly, squirming slightly under James’ piercing blue eyes, trying to pull himself away from the gaze.

“It’s dinner, Q.” James commented. “Why say no? You should give it a chance you know, rather than squashing it before it breathes.”

“I—I…um—” Q bit his lip and barely refrained from tugging at his hair, an old habit he had when he was uncomfortable, nervous, worried, or feeling awkward…which was probably why his hair had permanently frozen in a messy state.

“How about this, one dinner and if you can’t stand me by the end of the night we won’t talk about it ever again?” James offered, hoping that would help the boffin relax enough to say yes. He was sort of adorable when he was flustered though, so unlike his usually composed self.

“Um, sure.” Q nodded and smiled slightly.

“I’ll be here when you get off.” James smiled and winked, unable to stop himself from teasing Q.

“Y-yeah, um, see you then.” Q stammered before watching James leave his office. “Oh my God…” Q sighed heavily, his hands shaking. He knew what would happen, he’d probably have—literally and figuratively (most likely literally)—the pants charmed off of him by the double-o. It wasn’t going to be good. Q had a habit of ruining good things, breaking people, straining trust and he didn’t want that to happen with Bond, it would likely make it impossible for them to work together and Q didn’t trust anyone else managing 007 on missions… Not to mention the touching problem, he, himself, had…trust issues and he didn’t want James to have to deal with that, to have those same issues forced onto him. On the other hand…James was pretty much…perfect. Q hoped it was worth the risk.

He took a deep breath and tried to get back to work, cursing to himself hen his hands shook ever so slightly.

800Q8

“How’d it go?” Eve asked as James walked past her.

“Took some convincing, but I think it’s a date if he doesn’t back out.” James smiled.

“He’s just shy, be good to him, I don’t need you corrupting him.”

“I’ll do my best…for a while.”

“He’s doomed.” Eve sighed heavily, dramatically.

800Q8

Q was working on the third earpiece, biting his bottom lip as he moved the last wire into place. He closed it up before putting it in his ear and turning towards the window, picking up the tablet that was on the table in front of the window and tapping the screen three times before putting it down and listening, looking out at the setting sun. He listened for a few minutes, listening to the sound tests to make sure it was working properly. He smiled slightly when the sound test ended and pulled it out of his ear, setting it down in the box in front of him.

“A good day?” James asked. Q didn’t jump at the sound.

“I got a bit done, even got ahead on some work, which means that in a few days when everything goes to hell I’ll be on schedule again or maybe behind schedule, depending…” Q turned around and smiled as he flipped the box closed, locking it, before slipping the key into a convenient, hidden compartment in his desk that locked tightly after he placed his finger on the corner of the desk. “I wouldn’t go telling anyone about that.” Q commented with a smile.

“I won’t, Q.” James said as Q wiped down that portion of the desk. “Are you good?” Then Q blushed slightly.

“Um, yeah, just one thing.” He grabbed his messenger bag from under his desk and slid his laptop into it cautiously. He took the slender tools he had been using earlier and slipped them into a black kit that was full of little odds and ends that James had no idea what to do with. He rolled up the black kit into a neat cylinder that Velcro-d shut, before slipping it into his bag, adding his tablet to the mix. Q scanned the office quickly, trying to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything that he may need. “Should be it.” Q muttered to himself.

“Perfect.” James smiled.

800Q8

“I’ve never been here before.” Q commented, looking around curiously. It was a small restaurant, but the smell made it seem like heaven and nearly every table was crammed. In spite of the packed nature of the restaurant, it was a very calm atmosphere.

“Really?” James asked with wide eyes. “Best Italian place I know of in London. I’ve been here a few times.”

“James!” The maître-d smiled warmly at him.

“A few times?” Q asked with a small smile.

“A few more than a few, I admit.”

“How have you been, been a few months?” He smiled and shook James’ hand.

“I’m good, Jazz.”

“Brilliant, you’ve never had anyone with you before you dog. Who’s the lucky one?” Jazz asked with a warm smile at Q as he grabbed two menus. Q’s face tinged pink, ever so slightly. They hadn’t talked about this, about a name that they could call him in public.

“Quinton,” Q answered simply.

“Well, you’re quite a charming young man aren’t you? Perhaps you’re the lucky one.” Jazz flashed a smile at Bond before he led them to a table and sat them both down before smiling and leaving the two of them.

“Sorry about that.”

“No problem…” Q said a blush still on his cheeks.

“Quinton?”

“Nope.”

“Thought not.” James smiled. “Gives me an excuse to call you Q though.”

“I live to make your life easier.”

“What’s your real name?” Q smirked.

“I don’t have one to give you. Robert Daniels, if you like. That’s the one I use should anyone get ahold of me. I’m a physicist for MI6’s engineering division, well, that’s what I’m supposed to tell everyone.”

“Did you study physics?” James wondered curiously. Q looked up from the menu and smiled and nodded.

“And mathematics, and computer science, and engineering.” Showing off just a little.

“Any minors?”

“Music and literature.” Q shrugged.

“How did you swing that?” James asked, truly shocked.

“I only had a scholarship for four years, so I tested out of as much as I could and then worked my arse off. I eventually had to get a job for my doctorate though. The minors were a relief honestly, helped to keep me sane after a while.”

“Well, you’re definitely smarter than me.”

“Not so, brains aren’t just books. You’ve got something I definitely don’t have.”

“And what’s that?”

“Instinct, normal, human knowledge, life experience. I suppose a lot.” Q shook his head.

“Hello, you two,” a warm voice called as a waitress stepped up. “The usual for you?” She asked with a smile. She was an older lady, the type who looked like she was some lucky children’s mother.

“Yes, thank you.” James smiled.

“What would you have to drink, sweetheart?”

“The raspberry tea please.”

“Coming right out for you, dears.” She promised with a warm smile before she left.

“Okay, what did you do?” Q asked as soon as she left.

“What do you mean?”

“You did something here, what did you do?”

“They were held up once, I happened to be in the restaurant at the time.” James shrugged.

“Well, that explains why she mothers you.” Q chuckled.

“She’s like that with everyone.” James smiled. “So you can play the piano?”

“I was bored and it sort of reminded me of home.” Q winced, he hadn’t meant to admit that much. “I’m no Mozart,” he quickly said, trying to cover for the little slip of information, “but I’m competent, I suppose.”

“I used to know guitar, but I don’t think I could play anymore if I ever picked it up again.” James commented, trying to ease Q a bit, a silent reassurance. _It’s alright, I get it._

“I could never manage it, they tried to teach me at Cambridge, but it was beyond my grasp. They didn’t like it but I told them to shove it and that I’d be doing my study on the piano…after a while they quit complaining.”

“You were born to be bossy.”

“I suppose.” Q chuckled.

“Here you go, you two.” The waitress smiled and sat down their drinks easily. “Are you ready to order, sweetheart?” She asked Q. Q looked at James first who chuckled. “Oh, sweetheart, I already know what he wants, he pretends like he’ll change his mind and he always looks at the menu like he will, but he never does. He’s a creature of habit.” Q snorted and James kicked him lightly under the table.

“Sounds about right.” Q laughed. “May I have the Chicken Saltimbocca please?”

“Sure thing, sweetie. You’ve got excellent taste, that’s my favorite on the menu.” She said honestly before taking the menus from the two of them. Her hand pated Q on the top of his head and Q tensed, not noticeably to the woman, but James didn’t miss how Q’s knuckles turned white and how his shoulders went tense. He slowly relaxed as she walked away.

“Are you alright, Q?”

“I’m fine, just…well, I should tell you anyway, um, unexpected touches sort of freak me out a bit, it has been a quirk of mine since I was little.” James smiled slightly at Q.

“It’s alright.” James promised.

“Thank you, James.” Q smiled. “What?”

“You’ve never called me James before.”

“Some of us are professionals, Bond.” Q teased.

“Ha, professionalism.” James shook his head, taking a sip of his drink before smiling. “Try a sip.”

“I don’t drink, sorry.”

“One sip isn’t going to kill you, Q.”

“Tempter…” Q sighed, knowing James was right, one sip wouldn’t hurt him. He took a small sip and his eyes widened. It was like flat lemonade, cold and warm, sweet and slightly sour, and the smoothest thing he’d ever drank. “What is that?”

“Lemoncello, not my usual favorite, but I get it every time I come here, it’s perfection.”

“Tastes marvelous.” Q agreed.

Q hadn’t been wrong about James, the man on the assignments wasn’t quite like the real thing. Both were smart and charming and funny and strong, but the James who wasn’t chasing people around was a lot more relaxed, a bit more carefree, and a complete gentleman. James still thought Q was a mystery, an attractive, smart, quick-witted one with secrets.

The first dinner wasn’t the last.

800Q8

“It’s been a few weeks now hasn’t it?” Eve asked with a warm smile as Q lay on the ground, looking up underneath the base of a bomb, wires in his hands.

“For what?”

“You and James.” She whispered smugly.

“Yes, why do you ask?”

“What? You’re serious? No dirty details from you?”

“That would require ‘dirty details’, Eve.” Q retorted, rolling his eyes.

“No way! There’s no way you haven’t…oh dear God you really haven’t. How can you not? Have you looked at him?”

“Eve, it’s not that simple. I’m not… I have issues alright?”

“Who do I need to kill?” Eve wondered.

“No one. I’ve already told him that too. It’s not what you think it is.”

“What is it then?”

“I don’t talk about it.” Q said, his voice firm.

“Sorry, boss…” Eve sighed after a moment, looking down at her feet. She knew nearly everyone at MI6 had stories, maybe not some of the minions, but most of them had something tragic in their pasts and it was an unspoken rule that you didn’t ask or intrude unless it was endangering someone else. “He’s a gentleman though, right?”

“Why?”

“I threatened to kill him if he hurt you.”

“That’s my Eve.” Q chuckled.

“I have these awesome shoes that need action.”

“Speaking of, I have another pair for you. I think you’ll like them, someone told me they were special…something about having red bottoms to them or something like that.”

“I love you, Q!” Eve exclaimed.

“Whoa, calm down, there is a bomb above my head and while it isn’t at full capacity it’s really heavy and if you knock it off the stand and onto my face I won’t be happy.”

“Of course, sir.” Eve smiled.

800Q8

James had learned some things about Q over the first four months they’d been, whatever they were. Q simply didn’t like the first touch, the boffin was actually quite tactile after the first touch and he didn’t even mind the first touch if he knew it was coming, but after that it didn’t seem to bother him much. Q was a fantastic kisser, his hair did have the ability to be messier than it was, and Q most certainly wasn’t opposed to simply lying on the couch with James—something James enjoyed—and Q had promised, with a smug smirk, to not mention to anyone. No one could believe James Bond was soft.

Q’s flat had become the official place for the two of them, it was more lived-in and comfortable when compared to James’ flat. The sofa was their usual place. James had his head rested on Q’s thigh, his eyes closed contentedly as Q carded his fingers through his short hair. James listened to the voice he’d listened to for nearly two years with a smile. “”…three days neither food nor drink has passed his lips. ""Good God! Why did you not call in a doctor?"” Q read in a gentle voice. “"He wouldn't have it, sir. You know how masterful he is. I didn't dare to disobey him. But he's not long for this world, as you'll see for yourself the moment that you set eyes on him."

He was indeed a deplorable spectacle. In the dim light of a foggy November day the sick room was a gloomy spot, but it was that gaunt, wasted face staring at me from the bed which sent a chill to my heart. His eyes had the brightness of fever, there was a hectic flush upon either cheek, and dark crusts clung to his lips; the thin hands upon the coverlet twitched incessantly, his voice was croaking and spasmodic. He lay listlessly as I entered the room, but the sight of me brought a gleam of recognition to his eyes…”

“Q?”

“Hmm?” Q asked quietly.

“Why didn’t you think that you’d be good in a relationship?” James wondered. Q sighed and put the book down slowly.

“I’ve never had success with anything of a relationship, ever. I have, secrets, and when some of them come out, people just don’t trust me anymore. They’re not things I can control about myself…I mean, I do control it, but people just don’t look at me the same way afterwards. All of them leave.”

“I wouldn’t leave.” James promised. “It’s not often I find someone talented, beautiful, smart, charming, witty, sweet—”

“Trying to flatter me are you?” Q asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Is it working?”

“Mm, nope.” Q grinned.

“That is upsetting. I’ll have to try harder, Quartermaster.” James smirked, threading his hand with Q’s.

“Try all you want, 007.”

“I will. So what happens?” James wondered after a moment of content silence. They were good at that. They could talk through things, but even better, they could sit in silence without ever talking and simply knowing everything that went unsaid.

“"Well, Watson, we seem to have fallen upon evil days," said he in a feeble voice, but with something of his old carelessness of manner.” Q continued. They tried to manage it at least once a week, a quiet night, either with a movie or a book or even soft music. It was simply something that helped them both unwind from their stressors. James usually picked out the movies, Q almost always picked the books and they would just lie against each other, either James behind Q, or Q lazily lying against his chest. It made Eve upset when she badgered Q and he had no juicy stories to tell, but Q was content the way it was. He trusted James. “I have so deep a respect for the extraordinary qualities of Holmes that I have always deferred to his wishes, even when I least understood them. But now all my professional instincts were aroused. Let him be my master elsewhere, I at least was his in a sick ro—” Q stopped when his phone rang and he reached for it quickly, pressing it to his ear. “Hello?”

 _“Q, I need your help.”_ 003’s voice came very quietly.

“Of course, one moment.” Q tapped James’ shoulder and he sat up, letting Q up to go to his laptop. “What do you need, 003?” Q wondered.

_“I’m a bit trapped, I need an escape route of some kind. I don’t even have bullets.”_

“I see you. Oh, that is quite a situation.” Q commented, sitting down at the table that housed his laptop. “Lend me a second, I’ll get you out of there.” Q promised, going to work quickly. “You’re going to have to trust me on this one, 003.”

_“Well, you’re all I’ve got, so I have no choice.”_

“Good, then this shouldn’t be too bad.” Q smiled before slowly walking the agent through everything, keeping him out of sight of every threat. “Very good, the car on your left, I’d steal that one, I’ve already verified that the owner of that vehicle won’t notice that it’s missing for at least another three hours. You’ll be long gone by then.”

_“Thank you, Q.”_

“Not a problem, 003.” Q promised before hanging up and working on the surveillance on the street, wiping 003 from every camera, going back and putting the video on a loop until the car disappeared, no one would be able to find him. Q felt warm hands massaging his shoulders and he tensed and took a deep breath before leaning back into the feeling and relaxing.

“Sorry, I forgot.” James said with wide eyes when he felt Q tense.

“It’s alright.” Q stated. “Feels good.”

“Perhaps I should do it more often then.” James smiled, pressing a gentle kiss against the side of Q’s neck.

“You could quit your day job with hands like those, James.” Q groaned, feeling the tension leaving him. “That’s lovely.”

“That good, Q?”

“Gabriel…” Q corrected. James froze. “My name, it’s Gabriel.” Q explained quietly. James slowly spun the chair around and pressed a kiss against Q’s lips, one hand buried in Q’s hair, the other cupping his cheek. The kiss was sweet and deep, lasting for a few moments.

“Thank you,” James smiled against Q’s lips.

“No problem, James.” Q promised, pressing his lips once more against James’.

800Q8

Their first attempt wasn’t stellar. It started when Q had accidently spilt tea on his shirt Q leapt up and quickly unbuttoned his shirt, hoping to get it off before he registered the burn of the tea. He really needed to make himself a decent waterproof shirt, it wasn’t the first time he’d spilt scalding tea down his front, it happened most often after longer bouts of insomnia when he became less than coordinated. Q slipped the shirt off and James was on his feet.

“You alright?” James wondered, gently searching his skin for any signs of a burn. The tea had just boiled, he knew that if it had touched Q he would have blistered.

“I’m fine.” Q said, momentarily stunned at James’ sudden closeness.

“Good.” James sighed. If Q noticed the way James was subconsciously tracing the skin over his abdomen with his thumbs, he didn’t comment or protest. “Very good.” James commented before pressing a kiss to Q’s lips, his hands moving to grip Q’s hips, pulling him closer. Without consciously deciding or consciously moving, Q was pinned against the wall, his hands instinctively digging into James’ broad shoulders, soaking in the warmth of the agent.

Q thought that he’d very much like to ruin his shirts more often.

“Gabriel, you are so beautiful…” James whispered gently against Q’s jawline before he claimed his lips a second time, delving deeper, their tongues mingling and battling for dominance, passion building between them. They pulled away for breath and James kissed down Q’s neck. Q’s hands found the buttons to James’ shirt. He had a great amount of hope that he’d be alright with James, that everything would be different. He was used to James, used to him being around, he hoped it was different. So far, he wasn’t disappointed.

Q fumbled through the last few buttons as James sucked at his collar bone, marking Q’s white skin.

It was perfectly fine until their chests met, bare flesh against bare flesh. Instantly Q’s whole body tensed, going almost completely rigid, his back falling against the wall trying instinctually to pull away from James. For a moment, he couldn’t even speak.

“J-James…” Q stuttered as James pressed closer against him. Q needed to pull away, it was too much, too much all at once. “Stop…please…” James’ eyes widened and he pulled away from Q.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” James whispered, reaching out to gently stroke Q’s cheek, but Q pulled back.

“Just…don’t touch me…” Q whispered, putting his head in his hands and squeezing his eyes shut tight, looking as though he had a horrible headache. “I’m sorry…” Q breathed after a moment, slowly attempting to relax and look at James. “I’m sorry, I don’t know… I thought… I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright…” James promised gently. He didn’t know what to think, Q had told him that he had been hurt in his past, but that no one had ever raped him, he’d made it quite clear that no such thing had ever happened to him—James knew he was telling the truth… The way he reacted though, it was strange, very strange for someone who _hadn’t_ suffered a trauma like that before. James didn’t know what to do except not touch Q. Whatever the problem was, he didn’t want to make it worse. “Whatever it is, it’s alright.”

“It’s not… I should… I should…” Q sighed heavily, wiping a tear out of one eye. “I’m sorry, I should be able to tell you…but I can’t, I don’t know how.”

“You don’t have to tell me anything, okay? Whatever you feel comfortable with.”

“But I do have to tell you, I just don’t want to see you after you know. I don’t want to watch you leave.”

“I’m not going to leave, alright? Take your time, you don’t have to tell me today or next week or next year…just don’t let this fall apart, because this is the best thing I’ve ever had in my life.” James promised him. Q smiled and gently grabbed one of James’ hands, tensing slightly when skin met skin, slowly lifting it to press a gentle kiss to the back of it.

“Thank you… You’re pretty damn good for me too.” Q said, trying to relax.

800Q8

They didn’t talk about it. It was a secret agreement that Q would talk when he could and that James would be willing to listen to whatever Q needed to say. Things went back to the way there were, simple and easy between the two of them. Q was even blessed enough to have a man who didn’t treat him like a soap bubble after the incident. After all, Q knew nothing that had happened was James’ fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story Q reads to James is The Dying Detective by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  
> Much love to everyone.


	3. I Couldn't Lie, Couldn't Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the secrets are going to come out here. This is where it gets AU and inaccurate and all of that fun stuff. This one's a long one, sorry. I still don't own Bond or Q, I just like screwing with them.

“I’m here, Bond.” Q promised as he listened to James having his weapons stripped from him. “I’m sending help your way. I’ve got you.” Q promised in his most calm voice before listening in.

_“Mr. Bond, I’ve been waiting a while for this.”_ Q heard a loud noise and James grunt.

_“You know, these are really high quality ropes, thanks for that.”_ James commented.

“Don’t thank me, I haven’t gotten you out just yet.” Q said, making sure to send the request out a second and third time, making sure someone was moving their arses to get James out safely. He knew James was finding a way to talk to him, all while insulting his captors. Another grunt, low, pained, short.

_“Mr. Bond…you really should be more worried about your predicament then preparing your next insult, as you don’t have many breaths left.”_

A message popped up on Q’s screen.

**ETA: 30 minutes to extraction.**

James might not have that much time, these people didn’t want information, they wanted revenge and didn’t sound like the type to draw anything out. “Bond, I need to know who it is. Can you tell me who it is?” Q asked. He had an idea. It was stupid, ridiculous, and it would probably never work, but Q had to try it. Thirty minutes meant that James would be dead and Q couldn’t stand the thought of it.

_“You know, I’m glad we’ve gotten some time alone, Dominique Slate, we haven’t spoken in a few years.”_

“You’re brilliant, 007. I’ve got you, everything’s going to be alright.” Q promised, quickly looking up Dominique in every database he had at his disposal, which was pretty much all of them. Q stared at his picture for a long time and glanced at the blurry footage he’d managed to get of the office where the man stood, a gun in his hand as he looked down at James’ bound form. James could get out of the bonds, but everyone knew that the moment he’d move to do so, he’d be dead. Q stared at the footage for a long time, his head starting to ache. He pressed his hands to his temples, not looking away.

_“Yes, you shot my brother right here.”_ He stated. Q was sure he saw the gun in the man’s head touch James’ forehead. _“I was standing right next to him.”_

_“Should have had a better family.”_ James commented.

“ _Too bad you don’t have anyone to look after you. A shame, really.”_ The man said, before cocking the gun. Rage and fear filled him and Q swayed on his feet, clutching his head in pain.

800Q8

James almost opened his mouth to say goodbye to Q, but then he realized that the man in front of him wasn’t moving, he was unnaturally still, but the fear in his eyes seemed consuming. “ _Move your arse, James_.” Q’s voice said after a moment, sounding strained.

“Q, what the hell happened? He's just...stopped. What happened?” James demanded, moving quickly to get himself out of his bindings.

_“Just move, dammit.”_ Q snapped.

800Q8

Q bit his knuckles to hold back the sounds of pain he’d surely let out if it wasn’t there. He had to take a deep breath before he spoke to James, blood running down his face from his nose. “Move it, Bond. Get the hell out of there.”

800Q8

James managed to easily pull the gun from the man’s grip and looked at him with wide eyes. It was paralyzed, but struggling against it. It was the strangest thing James had ever seen. _“What are you doing? Leave! Now!”_

“He’ll follow me.”

_“Leave him,_ you’re _important, get your arse out.”_

“I’m not leading him back to London.” _Back to you… He’d kill you, Q…_ James thought to himself.

_“DAMMIT! Just go! Don’t shoot him, just run for fuck’s sake!”_ Q cursed. James looked at the man and shook his head. He wasn’t going to let that man roam free. He lifted the gun and pulled the trigger against the man’s forehead. James heard a scream, not sure where it came from, but knowing that it sent chills down to his bones before he ran.

“Q, I’m leaving, I’m going down the south stairwell…” James said after a minute of silence, trying to get away quickly. “Q?”

“ _Yes, head to the hotel, extraction is waiting for you, 007.”_ R’s voice said simply.

“Of course, where’s Q?” James asked.

_“He had something come up_.” R answered, his voice unsteady. James knew R was lying. Was Q really that angry with him for killing the man?

800Q8

The gun went off and Q collapsed onto the floor with a scream of pain. His whole body seizing against the rug, blood pouring from his nostrils. His body was slamming around out of his control, his head slamming against the floor and the leg of his desk. “Q?” Someone knocked on the door. “Are you alright? You shouted… Q?” R pushed the door open and his eyes widened. “I need medical right now!” He shouted before he grabbed Q by his shoulders, pinning him against the floor so that his seizure wouldn’t cause him to hurt himself worse, blood still gushing from his nostrils.

R glanced at the computer and saw the earpiece in Q’s ear, pulling it out. “ _I’m going down the south stairwell… Q?_ ” James asked, sounding slightly wounded.

“Yes, head to the hotel, extraction is waiting for you, 007.” R told him, trying to keep his voice calm as the Quartermaster continued to shake under him.

“ _Of course. Where’s Q_?”

Q’s body suddenly went limp, all of his seizing stopping, his skin paler than usual, blood bubbling from his nose, his breathing low and sounding crackly because of the blood running down his throat. “He had something come up.” R lied before he shut off the connection. Three men ran into the room a man with a stretcher behind them.

“What happened?”

“I heard him scream and…I came in and he was having a seizure or something, his nose was bleeding and…” R shook his head, backing away.

“Does he have a history of any kind?”

“No…not even in his medical records… He’s never… I don’t think I’ve ever seen him with a cold, he doesn’t even get sick...” R babbled, unable to deal with the fact that he’d just seen Q thrashing the way he had, betrayed by his own mind, his brilliant mind.

“Let’s get him out of here, have him strapped down, just in case, we don’t need him hurting himself.”

800Q8

James headed straight for Q’s office as soon as he entered MI6, he needed to return him, but mostly he wanted to make up for what he’d done, he’d obviously made Q upset for killing the man somehow. He slowly opened the door and looked at the dark office, his eyes narrowing slightly. Q’s bag was there, but he wasn’t. James quickly strode out of Q’s office and to Eve’s desk, glad that she was down in Q-branch, she was easier to deal with than most of the minions. “Good afternoon, Miss Moneypenny,” James smiled gently. “Do you happen to know where the boffin is?” Eve didn’t smile back at him when she looked up.

“You mean they didn’t tell you?” Eve asked with wide eyes. Instantly something dropped into James’ stomach.

“Where’s Q?” James demanded.

“He collapsed, in his office…he had a seizure, his nose was bleeding… No one knows why, they keep running tests but they can’t find anything.” Eve said, tears in her eyes, she was scared.

“Where is he?”

“He’s in medical.” James turned away, starting to head that way. “James, he’s in a coma, they can’t…he won’t wake up.” James quickly left trying to get to medical as soon as he could. The instant he walked through the door he was greeted by the nurse at the station.

“Hurt again and you actually decided to check yourself in, Bond?” She asked gently, standing up.

“Where’s Q?” James asked, his voice made the woman shrink back instantly. Everyone knew not to mess with James when he sounded like that.

“Room 117.” She stated. James nodded and headed to the room instantly.

“I just don’t understand. He has no history of this.” M’s voice said, worry buried in his tone.

“We can’t find a reason for it, I’m sorry M, but there isn’t anything—” James stepped into the room to see Q, strapped down to the bed by his ankles and wrists. His eyes were closed lightly, tubes running from him in every direction, machines whirring and beeping around him, his chest rising and falling.

“Bond…” M started.

“Tell me everything.” James ordered, moving to Q’s side and reaching to stroke the back of his hand. Q hummed quietly, but then everything went still again.

“Strange…he didn’t react well to most people’s touches.” M observed with questioning eyes.

“He had a seizure in his office, R found him after he heard a shout. Q was shaking, banging his head against the floor apparently. R held him down until he stopped, but Q didn’t regain consciousness. He’s been like this ever since. He’s a seven on the GCS, but we don’t know why he’s that way. There is no visible problems with his brain, a little bit of scarring though, has he been in an accident before? His medical file doesn’t show it, but there is scarring that’s quite old.”

“He was in an accident when he was young, a bad one, but nearly everything healed, it was a miracle.” M commented.

“What didn’t heal?” James asked.

“His eyes, the accident messed with his eyes.” M told him gently.

“Did he go into a coma after that accident?”

“Yes, a solid week, exactly a week, actually.” M nodded, glancing at Q’s still form.

“That would have been nice to know.”

“Only my predecessor and I are privy to the knowledge of his accident, I can only tell you the extents of his injuries, not how they occurred.” M looked at both of them seriously.

“Well, I can’t find any new problems on him at all, he has no history of seizures…just nothing. I don’t know, I suppose we’ll just have to wait for him to wake up. Whatever sent him under he needs to sort it out himself.” The doctor shrugged.

“What were his scores?” James asked.

“Eye response is a 1 (he can’t open his eyes), verbal is a 2 (muffled hums and groans but not much else), and motor response is a four (you pinch him and he moves, actually he reflexes at nearly every touch). He’s been here for about twenty hours now, no changes from admittance to now.” The doctor commented before he left the room.

“Do you know anything, Bond? You were the last person to talk to him.” M said slowly, shifting from side to side as James sat next to Q’s bed, his hand still in Q’s.

“He sounded…strange, then R was talking to me and... No…there was a scream, I thought it was…it must have been Q screaming.” James said with wide eyes. Q had screamed and collapsed when he’d shot the bastard who’d captured him. What in the hell did that mean? That surely couldn’t be a coincidence, perhaps it was...maybe. “He told me he was going to get me out and then, he sounded strained, pained…then nothing.”

“Alright… Well, I suppose you’re taking leave while he’s out. Don’t look at me like that James, anyone can see the way you act around him, not to mention the way you speak in sync sometimes, it’s actually quite sweet. Besides, Q actually files forms.” M chuckled.

“He filed a form?” James asked with a smile. He’d left that up to Q, James was perfectly comfortable with Q, but Q always seemed afraid that he’d somehow ruin the relationship, which made him tentative to get too official.

“About a month ago.” M responded. “I couldn’t care less, it doesn’t affect your work, aside from improve it, so I _really_  couldn’t care less. Unless, you hurt him, I like the kid and a good Q is hard to come by, don't want to replace the best one we've got.” M chuckled. “Do you have what we sent you for?” James nodded and pulled out a bag from his coat pocket, handing it to M. “Thank you, keep him company, won’t you?”

“Of course.” James nodded.

“Anything you need?”

“His glasses, he can’t wake up without his glasses.” James stated. Q didn’t even go to sleep without them, there’d be no way he could wake up without them.

“Alright, I’ll send Eve down with them. Get your report done when you can, I’ll have someone debrief you later. I’ll give you some time with him.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Of course, Bond.” M nodded before he left the room, closing the door behind him.

“This isn’t fair you know, you’re supposed to be safe here. You’re not supposed to be getting hurt like this. I brought everything back in one piece this time and you missed it.” James sighed heavily. “I even got my gun back, I’ll admit there’s no bullets but you can hardly blame me for that. Gabriel, can you hear me or am I being an idiot?”

“Hmm.” A soft hum was all James got in response.

“That didn’t sound sarcastic, so I’ll assume you’re listening to me or can at least hear my voice. I get to be the voice in your ear this time.” James chuckled, leaning forward slowly. “I’m going to kiss your cheek, alright?” He asked gently before he pressed a tender, sweet kiss to Q’s cheek, Q didn’t pull away at all. “When you wake up you’ve got some explaining to do, like how the hell you got a man to freeze, do you have some sort of freaky Tony Stark equipment that you’re not passing out to us, because if so, that’s not cool, Gabe, we should get cool things in the field. Especially me, because I’m your favorite.” James teased. “What’s up with this, sweetie? Why are you like this? Why didn’t tell me about the pain or the accident….? Well, like I said, you’ve got some explaining to do, when you’re up to it. I’m most disappointed in the gadget thing, by the way, you know how I like new toys.”

A knock echoed on the door and Eve slowly stepped in. “I’ve got his glasses, and a book for you, just in case you want to read, it was in Q’s office, had a note in it about Friday, I suppose that was going to be one of your lounging days.”

“Yeah, that’s Eve.” James said, slipping on Q’s glasses, gently, tenderly. “There, now you can wake up whenever you’re ready.” He smiled. “What book is it?”

“It’s a collection, it’s been in Q’s office for a long time. Poe, I think.”

“Lovely.” James said, taking it off of her hands, careful not to let go of Q. It was falling apart, obviously a favorite of Q's, worn and well-read.

“He alright?”

“He will be.” James promised. “How much blood did he lose?”

“Quite a bit actually, not enough to warrant a transfusion, but nearly that much, they couldn’t stop the bleeding, worst bloody nose I’ve ever seen.”

“What did you do this time?” James teased gently, squeezing Q’s finger’s gently, jumping slightly when two of Q’s fingers curled slightly, trying to grip his hand.

“It may have been some of the chemicals he’s been working with lately, but that’s the only thought I have, it doesn’t explain the seizure, but it does explain the bleeding.”

“Well, he’ll get better.”

“Especially with you here.” Eve grinned. “See you soon, boss, alright? Don’t worry about the Branch, R’s running the ship, and I'll make sure that everyone stays in line while you're gone.” Eve promised. “You just get your rest, everything's taken care of for you. I know how you worry, but everything's alright..” Eve smiled before she left the room, closing the door.

“So which one were you going to read to me?” James asked, looking at the thick book. “Your favorite first, right?” James put the spine on his leg with his free hand and let the book fall open. “It starts in Latin, you kidding me? Well, I’m skipping that, I’m sure you can tell me what it means when you wake up, but I’m not making a fool out of myself by trying to read it.” James smiled and rubbed the back of Q’s hand with his thumb before he began to read. “I was sick, sick unto death, with that long agony, and when they at length unbound me, and I was permitted to sit, I felt that my senses were leaving me. The sentence, the dread sentence of death, was the last of distinct accentuation which reached my ears. After that, the sound of the inquisitorial voices seemed merged in one dreamy indeterminate hum. It conveyed to my soul the idea of REVOLUTION, perhaps from its association in fancy with the burr of a mill-wheel. This only for a brief period, for presently I heard no more. Yet, for a while, I saw, but with how terrible an exaggeration! I saw the lips of the black-robed judges. They appeared to me white -- whiter than the sheet upon which I trace these words -- and thin even to grotesqueness; thin with the intensity of their expression of firmness, of immovable resolution, of stern contempt of human torture.” James chuckled. “Torture, you would pick a dark one Q, but I suppose Poe’s meant to be dark.” James smiled fondly and stroked the back of Q’s hand gently before he continued. “I saw that the decrees of what to me was fate were still issuing from those lips. I saw them writhe with a deadly locution. I saw them fashion the syllables of my name, and I shuddered, because no sound succeeded. I saw, too, for a few moments of delirious horror, the soft and nearly imperceptible waving of the sable draperies which enwrapped the walls of the apartment; and then my vision fell upon the seven tall candles upon the table. At first they wore the aspect of charity, and seemed white slender angels who would save me: but then all at once there came a most deadly nausea over my spirit, and I felt every fibre in my frame thrill, as if I had touched the wire of a galvanic battery, while the angel forms became meaningless spectres, with heads of flame, and I saw that from them there would be no help . And then there stole into my fancy, like a rich musical note, the thought of what sweet rest there must be in the grave. The thought came gently and stealthily, and it seemed long before it attained full appreciation; but just as my spirit came at length properly to feel and entertain it, the figures of the judges vanished, as if magically, from before me; the tall candles sank into nothingness; their flames went out utterly; the blackness of darkness superened; all sensations appeared swallowed up in a mad rushing descent as of the soul into Hades. Then silence, and stillness, and night were the universe…”

800Q8

“You know, that one depressed me a bit.” James commented, when he’d finished yet another poem that had been marked in the book by Q. “You obviously like it, but it hit home for me in sort of a not-nice way…” James sighed, closing the book on Annabel Lee. “It is a bit hard to read with you…like this.” James nodded to Q’s still form. Q seemed to be going in and out from more alert to not alert. Sometimes he’d hum gently when James talked to him, as if trying to respond, or he’d gently curl his fingers in James’ hand, but now he’d gone a bit more lifeless. It would have scared James, but it was the third time Q had withdrawn. James pictured that it was more like Q was sleeping when he withdrew, like he was simply tired of trying to pay attention, besides the withdrawn moments were short, only a few hours at a time, then Q would start responding again, in the little ways he could. “I would read you another one, but my voice is starting to go, so tomorrow, alright?”

“James, you’re such a romantic.” Eve’s voice teased gently as she walked into the room.

“Hush, Moneypenny.” James smiled.

“Any change?”

“He’s just quiet now.” James sighed.

“I brought you some food and something to drink.” Eve said, putting the food on a table that was on the other side of the room.

“That’s evil.”

“Well, I have to get you to eat somehow, come on over here, he’ll be alright.” James slowly sat forward and pressed a kiss to the side of Q’s neck.

“I’ll be back, Gabe.” He whispered, too quiet for Eve to hear. “Eve’s a conniving bitch, in case you didn’t know.” James said louder as he pulled away, hoping Eve heard him.

“I know.” Eve winked as James sat down at the small table. “I have it on good authority that this is your favorite, so I brought it here, the owner sent me out the door with a full bottle of this Lemoncello stuff… It was free though.”

“God bless Jazz.” James sighed, pouring and offering a glass to Eve.

“Indeed, good bless whoever that man is.” Eve commented before looking at Q. “Q-Branch is lost without him. It’s a wonder they’re still operating. R can’t nearly keep up with what Q handled on a day-to-day basis.”

“Q’s a genius.” James shrugged.

“Indeed.” Eve smiled. “You are a hopeless romantic, you know.”

“For him.” James smiled fondly at the messy-haired boffin on the bed in-between bites. “Just him.”

“You’re forever smitten and you’re also going to be sleeping on the sofa over there. I brought you a blanket and a pillow, you need some sleep.”

“I’m fine.”

“I’m sure.” Eve rolled her eyes. “M’s orders, you either try to sleep here or he’s going to have you put in detainment until you sleep.”

“Tell him to fuck off.” James said, reluctantly snatching up the bedding she’d brought in a bag.

“I’m sure he knows how you feel about this, but I’ll tell him anyway.” Eve assured him.

800Q8

A soft sound of protest woke James. He looked up to see a nurse standing next to Q, trying to hold him down as he shook, trying to jerk away from her, his coma must have made him very sensitive to touches. The sounds he was making were almost pained, his jerks all meant to pull away from the woman, but he was unable to get away from her. “Quartermaster, calm down, please…” The nurse pleaded.

“Get the fuck away from him.” James demanded, instantly on his feet.

“Sir, I have to—”

“Stop touching him.” James snapped. The woman instantly pulled back as James knelt next to Q, his body still twitching, but slowly calming down. “You’re alright, Q, no one’s going to touch you, alright? You’re safe. I’m here…” James promised, watching as Q’s body slowly relaxed, like a nightmare had been ending. “You’re alright…” James promised before he slowly lifted his hand, reaching out. “If I scare you, just pull away…” James whispered before he gently ran his fingers through Q’s slightly damp hair. Q didn’t pull away, but he did hum gently, not strained at all. “I’m right here, you’re safe now.” James promised before he glared at the woman who had been attempting to wash Q. “Don’t fucking touch him, the sponge, the cloth, they’re fine, but if _you_ fucking touch him again I’ll kill you.” The woman scampered off promptly. “I’ve got you…” James said in a gentler tone to Q. He saw Q’s hand twitch and he gently placed his hand in Q’s, squeezing it tenderly. “I’ve got you, Gabriel…”

800Q8

Q opened his eyes and blinked a few times jerking when he realized that her limbs were pinned down. He pulled on the restraints before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was in medical, he knew that, he needed to calm down. “James?” Q called looking around, knowing James had to be close. James wasn’t there. “Hello?” He called out, unable to reach the call button. He wanted the restraints off, badly. The door opened and a doctor stepped in his eyes wide.

“Damn, you’re punctual, a week exactly again.” The doctor chuckled before walking forward.

“How are you feeling?”

“Restrained, I’d like them off please.” Though Q knew his voice came out more of an order, even though it was slightly hoarse.

“Yes, sir, just let me check you’re vitals real quick.” He smiled, getting it over with very quickly before he started to undo the restraints around Q’s wrists. “Q, you seemed to have a very hard time dealing with people touching you, anything you need to tell me about that?”

“Nothing you’d understand.”

“If it is of a personal nature, I’m sure I can understand and try to help you with it.”

“Don’t go all psycho-analytical on me, I’m fine, nothing happened to me, Daddy wasn’t touchy, the fosters were nice, and I wasn’t trampled on by anyone, just leave it alone.” Q snapped.

“Okay…suit yourself. Relax here for a while. I’m going to monitor you for the rest of the day just in case.” The Doctor said, getting the last of the restraints off before he left the room. James suddenly burst into the room and a smile filled his face.

“Q…”

“Where were you, 007?” Q asked with a smile.

“A meeting with M down the hall, sorry I’m late, sweetie.” James said, walking across the room and pressing a kiss to the top of Q’s head.

“I would love to kiss you properly, but I’m sure my breath is rancid, so I’m not even going to go there.” Q chuckled when James pulled away.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” Q promised. “I heard you, you know. You didn’t leave me and you read me Poe, you get the best boyfriend award this year.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah.” Q grinned, leaning back against the bed with a huff. “So what exactly happened to me? It didn’t feel like fun, whatever it is.”

“You had a seizure.”

“How’s my brain look?”

“Perfect according to the doctor.”

“Lovely.”

“How did you have a seizure, I guess I don’t understand, and the way you spoke over the earpiece… Is there something…?”

“Listen, we can talk, I will talk, but not here, not now. When I can go home, we’ll talk alright? I’ll tell you everything, just try not to hate me.” Q said, a gloss of tears covering his jade eyes.

“I couldn’t hate you…”

“I’ve been told that before…”

“Gabriel—”

“Just, let’s have a moment here of calm, alright? Just you me and that’s it.”

“I can do that.” James smiled gently, seeing the panic in Q’s face, kissing Q’s neck gently and holding both of the boffin’s hands in his.

800Q8

Q was Q, but a past Q, a more nervous, insecure, fidgety Q all over again. It bothered James that Q was that worried that some secret could pull the two of them apart. James couldn’t envision something that could do that. He wasn’t quite sure and he’d never admit it to himself unless he was absolutely sure, but a deep part of his mind was thinking that he loved Q. The rest of his mind new better than to let James hear that particular thought.

Q was in the kitchen when James walked into Q’s flat, locking the door behind him, an old habit. “Hello, James.” Q said, his voice sounding slightly sad as he poured boiling water into a mug. “They’re letting me back on tomorrow, apparently I pass the evaluations, again.”

“They’re not worried about future seizures.”

“I don’t expect any, so even if they do, they know better than to shun my judgment. At least I’d hope by now they know better.” Q said, before stepping out of the kitchen and sitting on the sofa, his cup in his lap. James could sense the awkwardness and sat down next to Q, wrapping an arm around the boffin’s shoulders and pulling him slightly, letting Q lean against his side. Q sighed and took the comfort, knowing there wouldn’t be much of it left in a little while.

They stayed like that, in companionable silence for a while, long enough for Q to have finished his tea and put the mug down, burying his face against James’ shoulder, taking in the warmth and the scent that could only ever belong to James Bond. Such a shame...he’d never even managed to play the piano for James yet.

Q slowly forced himself up and took his glass out to the kitchen, putting it in the sink and taking several deep breaths before he turned around and shrieked. “Dammit, James, could you make some noise when you walk at least once in a while?” Q asked, trying to calm down.

“Wouldn’t be a good agent if I made noise when I walked.”

“Well thanks, I really am too young for a heart-attack.” Q commented, walking towards the living room. James following him. “You’re going to want to sit down.”

“Alright…” James said simply, taking a seat as Q paced for a moment.

“Please, let me finish before you…do what I know you’ll do. Just, let me talk and explain everything before you…” Q sucked in a breath, if he said _leave_ he’d start crying, and he couldn’t do that just yet, better to wait until he was alone. “I told you a while ago that my name is Gabriel, but I couldn’t tell you my full name, that would just be too dangerous in your hands. My name is Gabriel Benjamin Shaw, I was born on the Seventeenth of October, you already know how old I am so the rest is hardly relevant.” Q bit his lip. “My mother was a professor at Cambridge, my father was practically CEO of an electronic company that did a lot of work with computers. While I lived with them, I had the newest technology in my house before it even came out and I could take it apart and put it back together again in a completely different way and get it to work… Technology wasn’t just something I was taught, I guess it was instinct. I preferred the company of machines more than most people when I was young…

“When I was eight we were going on a business trip. It was summer and Mum and Da thought it would be good if I went out with them, saw more of the world. I was afraid of airplanes, obviously. We were in the air and I still had my seatbelt on. I was just so scared of them. Mum and Da kept telling me the plane wouldn’t fall out of the sky, that everything would be alright, that I could take off my seatbelt, but I wouldn’t. Then the plane fell out of the sky. One of the pilots, his second flight, accidently turned off the wrong engine… We fell… Ten survivors and I was one of them. Mum died instantly, I remember Da being alive before we hit, but he didn’t survive the impact. I found out the plane was torn to shreds, there was a fire…the doctor’s thought that the fire was what helped to ruin my eyes. Something about the heat and the toxins. I bashed my head pretty hard and I was bleeding out when they found me. I think my seat was close to on fire too, because I have a burn on my back, well, there’s a tattoo over it now, my first foster mother’s idea—I’m actually fond of it though…”

“I’m sorry, Q.” James said, not knowing what to say.

“Don’t… That’s not the…that’s not the kicker.” Q rolled his eyes and scoffed. “I was in a coma for a week and I remember every bit of it. I remember hearing the doctor fretting, not knowing how he was going to tell and eight-year-old boy that mummy and daddy didn’t exist anymore. I heard nurses babbling endlessly about medical things (mostly about the way the gash on my leg was simply too big for a boy so small) and their families and the men they craved outside of their families. I remember everyone thinking I was too small, looking back I was a scrawny little thing, not much has changed. I remember all of it and when I woke up I knew I was alone…” Q stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath. Things were about to become difficult. “The doctor came to talk to me and he was going to talk sweet to me, like I was a little boy, believe me I was smart enough mentally at that age to be an adult—perhaps not in a life-experience way, but I certainly had more common sense. I was so angry with him, knowing that he was going to talk down to me and treat me like a little kid. That was the first time I ordered anyone to do anything, and he did it…

“I think that scared me more than anything…no adult listens to a little kid. It took me less than ten minutes of full wakefulness to figure out everything… I must have cried for an hour afterwards and had my hands over my ears. It really didn’t help that I woke up half-blind either, that only added to the terror…” Q sighed. “Now honestly, no interruptions, I have to finish this or… Just let me tell you everything.”

“Whatever you need to say.” James promised.

“Back then, I realized that people’s lips weren’t moving when they spoke…the headache was a good indicator too. Something, sprang loose in my head after that accident. I don’t know what the fuck it was, perhaps it’s the other ninety percent of the brain that humans can’t access or maybe I was just meant to be a freak and the crash helped me along, but I could hear people’s thoughts.” James stiffened instantly. He didn’t like the thought that someone could just stroll through his head. “I could hear the murmurs of thoughts around me all the time and whenever people touched me, they got really loud, so loud it hurt. Like people were screaming in my head, it hurt so badly. In a day flat, I figured out a way to shelter myself, but everyone’s different, every mind attacks in a in a different way. Keeping people out hurts most of the time, especially if they are touching me or have really loud thoughts. That’s why unexpected touches scare me. I’ve prepared my mind for any assault, so much that thoughts no longer break in at a touch, but I’m still afraid that something will, it is simply too much sometimes. That’s why I have insomnia. Even with all my walls up I still hear muffles around the edges, like people are whispering around me, unintelligible things. When I start to relax and drift I always have this terrible sensation that the dam will break and every voice within three blocks will start babbling in my head, so I wake up again, put it all back into place and try to drift off. Sometimes I get so paranoid I can never fall asleep.

“Then there was the incident with the doctor, I’d told him to leave and he did. I still had no idea what had happened, but then it kept happening. When I was upset or angry… People did what I told them to do… Took me a few experiments, ever the scientist, but I found that I could alter people’s thoughts. I could make them think things or do things. It came in handy once when a man tried to jump me in an alley. It scared me so I told my first foster family and they gave me up, sent me as far away as they could. My second family had me in a psych ward two weeks in. No one could figure out what was wrong with me and I just pretended to be normal. God…” Q froze, seeing the look on James’ face, tears began to tumble out of Q’s eyes. James almost didn’t believe it at first, then he thought about it, the way Q looked at people sometimes, the way he rubbed his temples during times of immense crisis, the way he finished people’s sentences and ideas without seemingly thinking about it…

“Have you done this to me?” The anger in James’ voice was frightening.

“No, no I’d never. I try not to listen to anything or to control anyone.”

“You try? Which means you do hear things…” James’ eyes grew a bit darker.

“Well, of course I do, sometimes. You can’t imagine how loudly people shout in their heads sometimes—”

“You can’t just go listening in to peoples’ minds that’s—”

“I don’t, I promise, I swear I don’t.” Q insisted, taking a step back. He knew, he knew. Every time someone heard the truth he broke the trust he had with them—he had only told two sets of foster parents, but it counted. It didn’t matter how long they’d known each other, how much trust there was, one truth and all of it was gone, but it always went the same in Q’s poor mind. _I couldn’t lie… I couldn’t lie to him. I couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes knowing I was lying…_

“Manipulating minds too? Is that how you became the youngest Quartermaster in history?” James demanded, standing up. James had been betrayed before and it had hurt, but somehow Q’s betrayal hurt so much worse, cut so much further into his being that it would have been hard to breathe had he not been so angry. Q had lied to him. Q had kept far too big of a secret from him. James couldn’t trust him anymore, not even in the smallest capacity.

“No, I didn’t. They found me. I had no idea…they dragged me into this. I swear.” Q was openly sobbing, he’d been here before, but this loss had the potential of breaking him, completely. “I’ve never, ever invaded your privacy, you’d know if I had, you’d know, I wouldn’t do that.”

“How can I trust you? Especially looking back, all of the sentences you’ve finished for me no matter how obscure.”

“I know you—”

“Well, it’s obvious how now.” Q bit his lip and took a step back, looking down at the floor. It was time to run, time to hide, time to find a place to run before worse things hit his ears, things he didn’t want to have the burden of remembering. He didn’t want to hear how much James distrusted him or how much of a freak James thought he was.

He couldn’t listen to it again…not from James.

He knew, he always knew someone would get hurt. Pity it was always him. Q didn’t even bother grabbing his coat before he left the flat, barely managing to get his own door unlocked with his shaking fingers. In less than a minute, Q was gone and James was left, fuming.

800Q8

“I need a room please…” Q said simply, he’d managed ten blocks, crying most of the way, glad that it was pouring outside and chilly, his sniffles and red face looked natural and his tears had been washed away by the rain. He handed over the card that had a false name on it before he took a key from her and headed quickly to his room, leaning against the door once it had closed.

He should have known so much better then to let himself fall in love with anyone…especially James fucking Bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James reads The Pit and the Pendulum to Q as well as Annabelle Lee (both can be found on the internet and if you haven't read them before I recommend it, they are both lovely.)  
> Much love to all of you.


	4. In My Face is Flashing Signs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly fluff and Q's past. It's got some cute little parts to it and a bit of a protective/jealous Bond here for a bit. Oh, and the L-word. Place your bets as to who thinks the infamous four letter word first.

James only went back to MI6 out of necessity, when he was called in for a meeting with M. He was angry with Q, feeling a bit hurt and betrayed. It was the strangest thing, because part of him wanted to defend Q, wanted to think that the innocent, flustered, brilliant Q he’d come to lo—like and know—wouldn’t violate his privacy (his file was one thing, his mind another) but the other side of his mind hated that Q hadn’t told him and that that aforementioned half of his brain only thought that because Q had planted the thought there. It was an impossible fight.

He hadn’t seen Q for a week.

On his way out a hand met his shoulder and he had to control his natural instinct to pin whoever it was against the nearest wall by their throat. “James?”

“Eve?” James asked, slowly turning around.

“What’s wrong with Q?” Eve asked with wide, concerned eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never seen him so… He just isn’t himself. He looks depressed and I don’t think he’s had a single cup of tea in a week. That in itself is frightening, I’ve never seen him without a cuppa in his hands. He’s so quiet too, no snarky little comments; he gets his work done, but it’s like he’s a ghost. I’m worried about him. I don’t think he’s left the building much either…”

“I don’t know what’s wrong.” James shrugged. James wouldn’t have known if Q had ever gone to his flat, James hadn’t been back at Q’s flat since about an hour after the fight had occurred.

“You, it’s you isn’t it? What the bloody fuck did you do to him?” Eve demanded. “I warned you not to hurt that boy. He’s absolutely precious, to all of us.”

“ _I_ didn’t do anything!”

“Look, whatever happened between the two of you he’s absolutely crushed, just fucking talk to the kid.”

“I don’t think that would be wise.” James stated. He couldn’t trust Q, not anymore. Not someone who could be going through his head at any point in time. Who in the hell didn’t tell people that sort of thing?

“What are you so pissed about? Don’t tell me he wounded you. He’s too sweet for that, especially with you.” Eve scoffed, James glared at her. “Did he set your gun to shock you again? You deserved it last time,” Eve giggled.

“It’s none of your damn business, Miss Moneypenny.” Q may have lied to him, but he wasn’t going to tell anyone else anything, anyone who didn’t pay a lot of attention to Q wouldn’t have noticed it or believe it.

“Yes it is, it is when it’s Q.” James huffed and started to walk away before he paused and turned to look at Eve.

“Have you noticed anything weird about him?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know… People acting out of character around him or him finishing people’s sentences?”

“The only person whose sentences he finishes is yours and that’s been a very recent development. Did you think he was sleeping around with someone else? Did you accuse him of something like that?” Eve asked with wide eyes. “He would _never_ , kid can’t stand people around him, they make him uncomfortable, I was bloody amazed that he went out with you. Don’t you dare think he’d ever cheat on you,” Eve glared at him.

“Don’t talk about things you don’t understand.” James huffed, walked away, heading for the roof. He looked out into the city and lit a cigarette, taking a long drag from it. It was a stressful habit, Q apparently had managed to hit the stress button.

_“I’m just not good for relationships, I’m flattered, really I am, but honestly I just sort of have a habit of ruining things so, I try not to…well, you know. Um, thank you though.”_ Worried; nervous about hurting people.

_“I’m fine, just…well, I should tell you anyway, um, unexpected touches sort of freak me out a bit, it has been a quirk of mine since I was little.”_ He didn’t like the screaming in his head.

_“I don’t drink, sorry.”_ He was afraid to lose control, to let his guard slip even a little.

_“I would tell you, I would in a heartbeat…if I weren’t a selfish coward.”_ He hadn’t wanted to lose James.

_“I’m sorry, I should be able to tell you…but I can’t, I don’t know how… But I do have to tell you, I just don’t want to see you after you know. I don’t want to watch you leave.”_ People he was supposed to trust left him.

_“No, no I’d never. I try not to listen to anything or to control anyone.”_ Q was crying, upset, scared. Q had left his own home, leaving James behind, unable to listen to James insult him further… Q had sobbed. Q was falling apart.

_“I’ve never, ever invaded your privacy, you’d know if I had, you’d know. I wouldn’t do that.”_ How would James have known if Q had messed with his mind?

Q could have stopped him from leaving.

James froze at that thought. Q probably could have erased it all, probably could have stopped him from leaving. Q had stopped a man from moving even a hair from nearly a thousand miles away. A had begged James not to shoot. Had Q felt the bullet that James had fired? Was that the reason for the seizure? Had Q taken a hit from him, for him?

James dropped the cigarette and crushed it under his heel before he headed for Q-branch quickly. He hadn’t seen Q for over a week and Q looked like shit. His eyes looked tired, his clothes were wrinkled—at least two days old. He obviously hadn’t slept well, he never did, but it was obvious that he had slept worse than normal. He didn’t look like he was eating well either. His skin was slightly too pale.

“Q?” James asked. Q jolted and slowly turned around, fidgeting and shrinking slightly, his eyes going wide behind the thick glasses.

“Yes, 007? How can I help you?” Q’s voice shook and his eyes were on the ground, unable to meet the piercing blue of James’ eyes.

“Can I speak with you?” Q didn’t move. “In privet?”

“Um…sure.” He said, walking towards his office. James closed the door behind them and Q stood behind his desk, his hands gripping the edge of it, his knuckles white.

“Your seizure. Tell me. Tell me why you had a seizure?” They were still for a moment, staring at each other before Q took a breath, his body shifting into a slouch that suggested complete surrender.

“Mr. Slate… You were trapped and your backup was too far away. You were going to be killed. So I reached out, hurt like hell, that’s why my nose was bleeding, too much effort, far too much, I’d never been able to reach more than a mile before, but I was so scared so angry…it just happened. I just wanted him to not hurt you. So I forced him to stay still.”

“You told me not to shoot him…”

“I didn’t know what it would do…”

“What did it do?”

“My head was in his… I felt it, like I was shot. My mind registered the pain, but my body wasn’t hurt… I guess my brain didn’t know what was happening with all of the mixed signals so...”

“I caused your seizure…” James said after a moment.

“You couldn’t have known, I didn’t.” Q stated. “All I had were theories… I didn’t even think I could save you… I thought I was going to hear you die. I just knew I couldn’t hear you die… I couldn’t…” Q bit his lip and looked at his shoes.

“You said I would know if you’d been in my head.”

“I had a friend, when I was young, he believed me and let me experiment on him, learn what was wrong with my head. He told me he could feel it whenever I read his mind or tried to get him to do things.”

“Do it.”

“What?” Q asked, wide eyed, backing up.

“Read my mind.”

“I don’t—I can’t.”

“Q…?” James asked. Q closed his eyes for a moment before he looked back up at James green meeting bright blue. James suddenly felt something in his head, a feeling akin to having hands dragging through his hair, like long fingers of warmth were gently probing around in his skull, not quite tangible, but ghost-like. Suddenly, they were gone. “What did you hear?”

“You are curious about so much... To answer one of your questions: I haven’t lied to you.” Q promised.

“That day…when our skin met and you pulled away…?”

“That much contact, skin-on-skin, it made it almost impossible for me to keep you out. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep your thoughts out of my head. I wouldn’t… I didn’t want to do that to you.”

“So you’ve never…?” James’ eyes widened at the implication. Had Q never been with anyone? How did he live without at least a little physical contact? Wouldn’t a person with his warmth, his personality, be dying inside without even the littlest signs off affection? Hugs? Kisses? A cuddle after a long day?

“Never.” Q agreed. “I’ve told four people in my life and two others have suspected that something was wrong with me, five of them walked out on me and the other one died in a car accident. Not the best track record. I’d given up on trying to find someone who’d understand. Until…”

“Until me. Why?”

“Because I’m selfish and naïve. I was sure there might be one person in the world who might… I just—”

“I’m sorry, Q.”

“I’m a freak, Bond, I shouldn’t have expected much else. I mean who in their right mind wouldn’t run from a freak like me?” James reached out for him but Q took a step back.

“Q,” it wasn’t a question or a request, it was a warning. James stepped forward and pressed a kiss against Q’s forehead. “I’m sorry… I… I overreacted. I was afraid, God, Q you held someone still from miles away, I didn’t know… I thought.”

“He’s the first person I’ve controlled in…thirteen years. I didn’t think I could do it.”

“I shouldn’t have said such harsh things without thinking… It should have been obvious you wouldn’t… I was so scared… Q, you’re precious to me, I should have tried to understand. Can you—?”

“Yes, I forgive you.” Q nodded against James’ shoulder, tentatively wrapping his arms around James and pulling himself close, taking in James’ scent, noticing the tang of James’ cigarettes.

“You read my mind.”

“Did no such thing.” Q mumbled against James’ shoulder. “Forgive me?”

“It might take me a while to…get used to the mind-reading thing.”

“As long as we can try…”

“I’ll damn well be trying. To be quite honest…I feel about as shitty as you look.”

“Dependent on me?” Q taunted half-heartedly.

“A bit. Don’t tell a soul.”

“I won’t.” Q promised, feeling James press their faces together. Q could feel stubble rubbing against his skin, but he didn’t care, not at all. Over and over again he’d lost people he’d cared about and he’d almost lost the only person he’d ever loved, stubble burn was the least of his thoughts. His thoughts were on how he never wanted to let go of James.

“I’m sorry, Q… I suppose you trusted me and I let you down.”

“I knew what I was getting myself into from the start, I did warn you. I break people, whether they know my secret or not, somehow they lose trust in me and leave. I knew the pattern was likely to continue.”

“I shouldn’t have extended it, Gabriel… I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“Would I have believed you sooner? Honestly? I mean, the only evidence I had was the man I killed.”

“Yeah, well, we both screwed up. We were both scared and MI6 agents don’t take well to fear.” Q commented.

“Do you have a free night, Gabe?”

“I’m free.”

“Dinner, maybe a book?” James asked gently, pressing a kiss against Q’s throat.

“No, how about dinner and I take you somewhere?”

“Where to?”

“Surprise.”

“Alright.” James smiled. They didn’t move, not at all, they just stayed there for a few moments, trying to make sure they’d both found forgiveness from each other: Q from hiding the truth, James from running. The phone interrupted the moment and Q jumped and moved to his desk.

“This is Q,” Q stated as soon as he picked the phone up.

_“Oh, wow, not what I was expecting_.” M said after a moment. _“Anyway, do you have the field tests done for the new gun yet?”_

“Yes, sir, I can have them sent to you right away.”

_“Thank you, Q, and I’m glad you’re sounding better_.” M stated gently. Q smiled up at James before he looked down.

“Yes, much better.” Q agreed.

_“No more spats between the two of you, we can’t stand our Q being whatever it was you were this last week.”_

“We’ll try. Need anything else, sir?”

_“Is that some way of telling me your other reports are done?”_

“It is.”

_“Then have those sent to me as well, thank you.”_

“No problem.” Q smiled before he began typing on his computer briefly. “There you are, sir, anything else you need?”

“No, that should do it, thank you, Q.”

“No problem.” Q stated again before he hung up.

“When are you off tonight?” James wondered.

“I have a project I’m working on, I don’t trust anyone else with it, so it’ll be a little later than normal, seven-thirty if that’s alright.”

“That’s not a problem, Q.” James smiled and kissed Q’s temple.

“Oh, look at you two, all cozy.” Eve said from the door with a warm smile. “You two better?”

“None of your business, nosey.” Q commented.

“I love you too, Q. Speaking of, one of the minions are in the lab, messing with that canister you told them not to touch—”

“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

“You two looked so sweet, didn’t know Bond had sweet in him.” Eve grinned.

“The lab could explode and you’re peeping, very good of you, Eve.” Q rolled his eyes before he kissed James’ gently on the lips. “Seven-thirty.”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“You better not.” Q winked before he rushed out of the room.

800Q8

It was six thirty when Q made the call.

“ _This is Louie’s what can I do for you on this fine day?”_

“Hello, Lou, this is Gabriel I was wondering what your schedule looked like tonight?”

“ _Always have time for you, my friend.”_ Lou replied.

“Well, I’m bringing someone with me who doesn’t know what you do, and I know you have someone tonight but I was wondering if I could take up a few minutes of your time.” Q said, being very careful with his words, just in case James was spying from somewhere.

_“Oh, no problem, we have time, around nine-fifteen the others will be resting then. You’d be a brilliant intermission_.”

“I can only hope.” Q chuckled.

_“What shall I put you down for? The usual?”_

“Yes please.” Q smiled gently.

_“And what will you—?”_

“Depends on how I feel when I get there, you know the drill by now, Lou.”

“ _Alright, I’ll see you tonight, baby_.” Q’s nose wrinkled at the nickname.

“See you tonight, old man.” Q responded easily before he hung up. Q chuckled and finished his work before he finished his work as quickly as he could, double checking on every agent that was working in the field when he was done, making sure all of them were going to be safe, for at least a few hours, barring any crazy changes in the hearts of the enemies. He glanced at the clock before he closed his door and turned to the small wardrobe he’d put in the corner, it had spare clothes in it, professional, work, casual, and a bit dressy. He knew there was every chance that nasty chemicals—among other things—could end up on his clothes and had meant to keep clothes in his office out of practicality, just in case he had a meeting or a hole burned through his clothes, which had happened more than once. The dressier clothes had been an addition after the first month he and James had been together. Tonight wasn’t going to be _quite_ dressy, but he did have to look good.

He pulled off his cardigan and his tie before he unbuttoned his shirt. He pulled the piece of cloth before kicking off his shoes and slipping out of his trousers and into a pair of—very—well fitted, dark wash jeans. There was a knock on his door as he slipped on a pair of white converse.

“Come in,” he called, tying the shoes quickly as the door opened. James looked slowly down the pale expanse of Q’s back before he noticed the tattoo that was at the small of his back. The shooting star moved from the spot above a slight dimple on the right side of his back to the center of his spine. Q was beautiful, long, lean, and carved of flawless marble. James almost smacked himself for thinking in such a poetic way, hoping Q had no clue what he was thinking, not only for the poetry, but for the very graphic ideas that weren’t poetic at all.

“You do have a tattoo.” James commented.

“Mm-hm.” Q agreed, standing up straight and turning to look at James. “My Comet,” Q smiled fondly.

“It covers a scar?”

“A minor one, it was one of the only ones that didn’t clear up from the waist up. I was self-conscious so my first foster mother suggested a tattoo, make something bad good. Of course she told me I had to wait until I was older, but then she tried to have me sectioned, so that went well…but I took her advice eventually.”

“Why a comet?” James asked, stepping forward and leaning back against Q’s desk, very tempted to pull Q against him and kiss him senseless before bending him over the desk, but he didn’t want to risk bothering or hurting Q.

“My Mum, she was a Professor of Music and she used to sing this song to me when I was a kid, she wrote it and called it The Comet, so I keep it for her.”

“I don’t see a scar.”

“It’s faded and the tattoo works miracles covering it. It was never particularly large like the one on my leg, but it’s still there. Here, you can feel it.” Q said, turning back around.

“Are you sure?” James asked.

“As long as you don’t decide to molest me, I should be alright. I’m getting better at keeping you out, even with you touching me as much as you do.” Q shrugged. James stood up straight and stepped forward, gently running his fingers over the tattoo. It wasn’t visible, but James could feel a slight bubble of scar tissue under his fingers that ran from one point on the star all the way through the tail of it.

“How did you get this?”

“There was a fire…when they dragged me out my back touched a bit of hot metal…according to the reports. It never healed.” Q stated gently.

“It’s perfect, that tattoo that is...” James commented, pressing a gentle kiss to Q’s shoulder. A shiver went down Q’s spine. “I would love to put you over your desk and have my way with you right now.” James sighed.

“I’d love to let you.” Q stated, turning around and pressing a gentle kiss against James’ lips. “But I can’t yet. I’m working on it.” He promised, running his fingers through James’ hair. “I need to get dressed, you know. I have reservations.” Q smiled and kissed James’ lips once more before he grabbed a red button-down and slipping it on before slowly buttoning it up.

“Am I—?”

“Don’t dare finish that sentence.”

“You weren’t reading my mind.” James said, confused.

“I don’t have to,” Q said as he finished, buttoning his shirt, leaving the top two buttons undone. “I’ve heard you ask the question a million times over the earpiece in the last few months every time you look in a mirror and you know I’m listening.”

“You remember?”

“I remember everything.” Q shrugged. “And you are never underdressed, you and your bloody bespoke suits, clinging in all of the bloody places I’m not supposed to be caught staring at during work hours.” James smirked.

“Pray tell.”

“Well, your arse looks brilliant.” Q commented as he tried to comb a little bit of the stress of the day out of his messy hair.

“Mm, does it?”

“And there’s the smugness I love so much.” Q grinned.

“So you don’t have any bespoke suits?”

“James, my parents were humble and after they were gone I spent the rest of my life carrying my possessions around in garbage bags and scraping for change to put myself through school, I’m not nearly frivolous enough with my money to buy tailored suits when normal ones look just fine and usually come into contact with harsh chemicals with the potential to burn holes through them. I’m a bit too practical for that, James, I can’t spend that much money in good conscious and know something’s going to destroy what I’m wearing.”

“You’d look good in a tailored suit…” James said, looking Q up and down slowly. “What if you wore it for fancy occasions?”

“Like what?” Q chuckled as he pulled on a dark, button-up coat. “Season finales of Supernatural and Doctor Who? I’m a bit boring James, I don’t get invited to fancy parties like you.”

“I’ll find an excuse to get you one, somehow.” James threatened.

“I’d like to see you try, 007.” Q smirked before he grabbed his messenger bag, already full of the things he’d need if all went to hell and he needed to work from wherever he was. “Time to go, dear, we do have reservations.”

800Q8

“Make a left here.” Q commented as James drove them through a slightly busy night in London.

“Where are we going?”

“Five blocks away from my flat.” Q answered.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“My favorite pub, well it’s more like a club, in town.”

“You don’t drink.” James smiled, amused.

“No, but pub food is excellent and a bit greasy which is appreciated sometimes.” Q shrugged. “Besides, they have shows occasionally, which is also nice. I used to work there after I got out of Cambridge, broke and too young for people to feel comfortable hiring I had to somehow survive. Lou was a godsend. He gave me a lot more money than the other employees when he realized I was practically starving at my flat. He helped me out a lot, sometimes I go back, pretty much the only place I can go back to when things seem too much.” Q shrugged. “And don’t be startled, he knows my name, he knew me before everything with MI6.”

“I won’t interrogate him then.” James promised.

“Good, he’s a good friend.” Q nodded. “Right here.” James followed his instructions instinctually, something about having the man in his ear most of the time made following simple directions second nature.

“How long did you work there?”

“Three years... I had two jobs for the last year, I managed to swing a job as a tech then and I had to give up working at the club. It was nice there, people knew me, knew my ‘quirks’ and always respected my space. Even most of the customers knew me by the end of the first year and made sure not to do anything stupid around me.”

“What kind of club is this?” James asked after a moment.

“Are you asking if I was on a stage acting scandalous in front of people who weren’t allowed to touch me?” Q taunted with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

“Well, yeah, pretty much.”

“What if I was? Would it bother you?” Q teased.

“No, I’d ask if anyone had recorded you.” James smirked back. Q giggled.

“The answer is no, I did no such thing. But I have acted scandalous in front of people before. It went over very well too.” Q winked.

“You shouldn’t be able to tease me like that.”

“I can do whatever I like. If it comforts you, I’m more frustrated than you are, I need an outlet of some sort and teasing you is all I’ve got right about now.”

“More frustrated than me?”

“Well, since it’s my fault and I’ve been waiting for forever and you can get it anywhere, yeah I think I’m the frustrated one.”

“Fair enough, but I’m not going anywhere else.” James promised. Q and James both knew that James very often had to sleep around on missions and they had both come to terms with that, they knew James never had his heart in it, it was just part of the job and his body was a tool. They’d talked about it and James was very surprised at how calm Q had been about it. Innocent, sweet, loyal Q simply understood. James was a very sexual man though—even though he very much liked the affection Q sent him because he’d never had that luxury—and James needed to make sure Q knew it was just him. Only Q, and he would wait for him.

“I know.” Q smiled warmly at James. “Park over there, trust me,” Q commented, “third level, fourth parking spot in the second row, easiest place to get out of.”

“Very precise, Quartermaster.”

“Always.” Q smiled as James did what Q had told him. Q got out of the car when they’d parked and walked around to the back, taking James’ hand when he was close enough. James paused for a moment. “Oh, sorry, um, I just…” Q should have known James might not have wanted to make their relationship public, some people at MI6 knowing was a bit different than normal people knowing. He started to pull his hand away but James laced their fingers together.

“Not a problem.” James smiled.

“Come on and whatever Lou says, don’t punch him. He’s harmless and he really is a sweetheart.” Q promised as they made it out of the car park and down onto the street.

“Why would I want to punch him?”

“Wait and see.” Q sighed. The flashing—more like flickering—sign above the restaurant was blue, with notes on either side of the elegant script that proclaimed that its name was Louie’s. On the outside it looked aged but that didn’t stop the fact that there were people waiting outside. Q led James up to the front door, squeezing past a couple who glared before a man who looked to be in his early fifties—still a handsome man with a spring in his step.

“Hey baby,” he whistled at Q looking him up and down with a smirk. James nearly did punch him, just for the tone of his voice. Then he heard the next sentence. “Still look like the same skinny runt I helped drag out of the bins out back.”

“Shut it, old man.” Q teased back with a warm smile.

“Come here, kid.” The man pulled Q forward by his arm and hugged him tightly. James looked at Q for any signs of distress, but Q didn’t look distressed or tense. He’d known that the man was going to hug him. “Damn you need some meat on your bones. Do you ever eat?”

“You eat enough for both of us.” Q commented, pulling back.

“Well, you aren’t a pauper anymore, boy, you should be eating some food.” The man shook his head before smiling at James. “You with him?”

“Yes, sir.”

“So formal, call me, Lou, or Louie.” The man smiled before pulling them in the door.

“Why can they get in?”

“Reserved seats, kiddos.” Lou said with a warm smile. “We’ll get you in soon.” He beamed and that, surprisingly, seemed to calm them down. “I’ll serve the two of you personally.” Lou promised, grabbing menus as James looked around the club. Not that kind of show. There was a stage on the right side, lit in white, live jazz performers on the stage. There was another floor above, but only on the left side, the rest was left open so that the stage could be seen from above. There was a long pub ahead of them, illuminated in blue. The tables were packed and tightly grouped, but for the amount of people it was relatively quiet. The music wasn’t too loud or too soft, people could talk without shouting, which made it one of the most relaxed pubs James had ever been in that had live music in them. The air smelt divine. “I’ve got your usual, baby.”

“Shut it, old man.” Q shook his head, reclaiming James’ hand as they followed Lou up the stairs back behind the bar, passing the restrooms and the swinging doors to the kitchen on their way up. There was one empty table with two chairs along the railing that overlooked the stage it was in the far corner of the room, there wasn’t a table within six feet. The second story was definitely less crowded than below. Q took off his coat and put it on the back of his seat before he sat down, James sitting across from him.

“What can I get you two to drink?”

“Can you get me that concoction you came up with last time?” Q wondered.

“No problem, G.” Lou promised.

“Concoction?” James wondered.

“He will never tell anyone what he does, but he picks different sodas and flavors and meshes them together and bang. Perfection.” Q shrugged.

“I’ll just have—”

“He doesn’t know what he’s saying.” Q interrupted. “He’ll have the Scotty.” Q stated with a warm smile.

“What’s that?” James asked, he didn’t know as though he trusted Q to pick his drinks, Q didn’t drink.

“Don’t question the man, you’ll be happy.” Lou stated. “I’ll make sure you get a bit of everything to start with. I thought you’d get here around this time so I had them start it a few minutes ago, shouldn’t be long.”

“You’re the best.” Q smiled.

“I know, baby,” Lou winked before he walked away.

“Baby?”

“He called me a baby when we met because I look like a child, apparently—”

“You do…”

“And someone started calling me _baby_ ,” he said the word with a flirtatious tone, “so now it’s been a running joke to flirt at me. He’ll relent eventually, he doesn’t like that I call him old man, eventually I’ll be G or Gabe.”

“Lovely.” James smiled before he looked out at the stage. “They’re good.”

“Lou only books the ones he likes, even if they don’t bring in as much money as some of the others, he books the ones he and his workers like. They have signs on the street corners and a website that tells people what to expect. There was a day where when if I knew the band playing I could tell you the name of every person here. These guys are new, but they’re damn good.”

“Agreed.” James commented, listening and watching.

“Here you go, boys.” Lou appeared, setting down starters and drinks. “Gabe, we’ve got a pup downstairs, do you think you’ll show him around at some point?”

“I don’t know, night’s still young.”

“I hope you do, he’s an oaf. We can’t get any new, good blood, we’ve still got most of the A-team, but…”

“Well, I’m a hard act to follow.” Q grinned.

“Don’t I know it? So, who’s your friend?”

“Boyfriend,” Q corrected. “Lou, this is James.”

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack, Gabe, did you say boyfriend?” Lou gasped with wide eyes, a hand over his heart. “Well, you’re one lucky man. My name’s Louie, but you knew that.” Lou said, shaking James’ hand. “I’ve known this boy for years and I’ve never seen him with anyone, poor thing used to be afraid of his own shadow. You must be something to have caught his eye, though.” Lou complimented. “I’m proud of you, boy, you were always too alone. You need someone for you. This boy,” he turned to James, “keep him to yourself, I’ve never seen anyone get more numbers in a single shift, his record is on the wall of fame still.”

“I know, he’s a keeper.”

“Oh, I know, sweetest kid I’ve ever met.” Q blushed at that. James saw it then, Lou was like Q’s second father; he couldn’t help but feel gratitude to the man standing next to him for watching out for Q. “Do you know what you’d like?” He asked pleasantly. The two of them ordered and Lou smiled before he left. James took a sip of his drink and looked up at Q.

“That’s good.”

“I’ve heard.” Q smiled. “Sounded to your taste from what I recalled.”

“Good choice.”

800Q8

“Why haven’t you brought me here sooner?” James wondered.

“I don’t know, I wanted to, guess I just didn’t know how to. It’s sort of been, my place, you know?”

James nodded. He knew. It would be the equivalent of James taking Q to Skyfall, not that Skyfall was pleasant in his mind, but it was personal. This place was personal for Q, a chunk of his life.

“The food is good.”

“Greasy is good sometimes. Can’t have it all the time because of your arteries and the weight issue, but it’s amazing.”

“Weight issue? Can you gain weight?”

“Never tried.” Q shrugged.

“Gabe?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Taylor wants your advice.”

“No problem.” Q smiled before he got up. He kissed James’ cheek before he left. Lou sat down in a spare chair with James.

“Gabriel told me you were very kind to him. I thank you for that.”

“He was a good kid. Came into an interview far too confident for a man his age, but not in an arrogant sort of way. Thing was skinnier than he is now, frail, trying to make it on nothing and in debt. Took him in and he didn’t miss a day of work, usually worked doubles. He’s a good kid, would do anything for anyone. He was strange, but smart as a whip and kind so there was really no choice.”

“He still works hard.”

“You work together?”

“Different departments, but yeah, we do.” James nodded.

“Good kid. He was brilliant at waiting tables when he started out, no one ever complained about him, he got the biggest tips too, out of everyone, might have had to do that he’s a sight to see, but he also had a manner, clam under pressure too, we’re always on our feet here. Still wasn’t enough money for him to live off of… I gave him a raise and used to slip him money, because God knows he was too proud to except it flat out.”

“I can imagine.” James said as the music stopped drifting through the room. “When he started? What did he do afterwards if not waiting tables?”

“He didn’t tell you? He was only a waiter for…eh…eight months, the rest of his three years he was a bartender. Best one I had. I never saw him take a single sip, but that kid could mix a drink. Never had a bartender that good before or since... He’s damn good at it. He would ask people what their favorite drinks were and shortly after you’d get a new drink, never been made before, but absolutely brilliant. He said it was just chemistry, well he’d know, he had a degree in it.”

“A bartender? Gabriel?”

“Yeah.”

“He never drinks.”

“Nope, but damn he was good at it. Eventually people just came in and asked for Gabe’s choice. He’d ask three questions and you had the best drink of your life.”

“You care about him.”

“He’s like a son to me, so don’t fuck this up. You look like a tough kid, but I’ll hunt you down and kill you if you make him hurt.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sir.” James said with a small, reassuring smile.

“Glad to see him holding someone’s hand though… He doesn’t like people touching him… If ever find out who fucking hurt that kid I’ll kill them. Poor thing screamed once, someone grabbed him by his wrists and he lost it. There are still signs up in the bar, because sometimes he comes down and helps to hold down the bar.”

“Signs?”

“I had to put up signs, he didn’t like people touching him, so I put up signs that warned people that ‘touching any bartender would result in banishment from the establishment and charges pressed for harassment’. We usually had coppers in the pub too, so people tend to listen to the signs. I’m glad he’s…found someone he’s comfortable with.”

“Thanks for watching out for him, Louie.”

“Eh, he’s like my son, I take care of my own.” Lou said.

800Q8

“What are you going to do?” Taylor asked.

“I don’t know.” Q shrugged.

“How in the hell do you never prepare for these things?”

“Instinct? Skills?”

“Mad skills…” Taylor agreed as there was a rumbling sound in front of him. “Good luck, baby.”

“Shut up…” Q sighed, rolling his eyes.

800Q8

“How long has it been for you two?”

“A few months.”

“Good for you… You couldn’t have picked better, and he didn’t do too bad of a bang-up job either. Didn’t take you for the gay type though. I mean, I always knew Gabe had that inclination, if I ever caught him staring at someone it was never a girl, but you don’t really look it.”

“I’m not.” James shrugged. “I’m Gabrielsexual… Is that allowed?”

“You wouldn’t believe how many people are Gabrielsexual. I hope you keep a gun with you, because you might need it, especially if he’s got a little bit of scruff to him, he won the record with a bit of scruff, eighty-six numbers in a night, slipped down the bar to him. Poor kid didn’t know what to say.”

“Thanks for the tip, I’ll be carrying a gun now.” James nodded, he never went anywhere without one, but now he’d have to have one with him for sure.

“Ha, you’d better. Hey, if you’re lucky I’ll talk him into making you a drink tonight.” Lou watched the light come on in the direction of the stage and he smiled fondly. “You might want to watch the next performance, it should be brilliant.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t know. I think he usually just wings it.” James turned around to see familiar, scruffy locks and a familiar form sitting at a grand piano, bathed in white light. The club went quiet, not silent, but very quiet. Q looked at the piano, pondering for a moment before a small smile tugged at his lips and his hands moved to adjust a microphone before resting his hands over the ivory keys. James saw Q wink up at him before a piano and voice sung out simultaneously. Slow, smooth, perfect.

“ _Lately I been, I been losing sleep Dreaming about the things that we could be But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard Said no more counting dollars We'll be counting stars Yeah, we'll be counting stars…_ ” Q sang in a perfect voice before his hands moved faster. His whole body was into the music, if only in the slight sway of his shoulders, his smile, and the foot—not working the pedals—tapping out a beat. James couldn’t help but stare at his fingers, long, pale, dexterous, perfect… He couldn’t help but wish they would play him like they played that piano. James had heard the song before, hard not to with how popular it was, but he’d never heard it done so well before, even without his bias. Q added a slightly jazzy tone to the song, morphing it just enough to make it his own.

“God, he’s beautiful…” James whispered. Lou smiled slightly.

_“I see this life Like a swinging vine Swing my heart across the line In my face is flashing signs Seek it out and ye shall find_.” Q’s lips move quickly with the words, his fingers flowing seamlessly along, without a thought. _“Old, but I'm not that old Young, but I'm not that bold And I don't think the world is sold I'm just doing what we're told. I feel something so right By doing the wrong thing And I feel something so wrong By doing the right thing I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie Everything that kills me makes me feel alive…”_ James chuckled, that just summed everything up for their jobs, their lives, them… Q was singing for him.

The night was full of apologies: James inviting Q out, Q taking him somewhere personal, James taking his hand, Q singing for him… Their silent way of trying to reassure each other that everything would be alright, that they would work it out and survive.

“We make all of our employees do something on amateur night… He blew us away. Every time we put him on the stage we were booked. He’d take requests, if he knew the song he’d sing it, he could sit at that bloody piano and play any damn tune he wanted to.” Lou chuckled. “The kid’s brilliant.”

“He is…” James smiled fondly.

“ _I feel the love And I feel it burn Down this river every turn Hope is our four letter word Make that money Watch it burn_ …” Q had tilted his head, his eyes meeting James’ as he smiled and sang to James. “ _Old, but you’re not that old Young, but I'm not that bold And I don't think the world is sold we’re just doing what we're told… And I feel something so wrong By doing the right thing I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly…”_ Q smiled at him before looking down at his keys again. “ _Lately I been, I been losing sleep Dreaming about the things that we could be But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard Said no more counting dollars We'll be counting stars…”_ Q’s voice jumped an octave easily, still warm. _“Lately I been, I been losing sleep Dreaming about the things that we could be But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard Said no more counting dollars We'll be, we'll be counting stars…_ ” Q played for a moment before his fingers sped up again. God, those fingers. “ _Take that money Watch it burn Sing in the river The lessons I learned…”_

“I don’t deserve him.” James said as he watched the brilliant man sing.

“Maybe that’s why you do…” Lou commented. The music stopped for a brief moment, silence for three heartbeats.

_“Everything that kills me…”_ Two heartbeats. _“Makes me feel alive…_ ” Q sang before his fingers started, a new fire crossing his face, a little more comfortable, confident, a slight bit faster, elated. “ _Lately I been, I been losing sleep Dreaming about the things that we could be But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard Said no more counting dollars We'll be counting stars Lately I been, I been losing sleep Dreaming about the things that we could be But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard Said no more counting dollars We'll be, we'll be counting stars_ …” There was a moment full of nothing but piano genius, full of runs and rifts and James had no idea fingers could stretch that far to play in that many octaves. He shifted slightly in his seat, hoping Lou didn’t notice his—growing—problem. That could have been awkward. _“Take that money Watch it burn Sing in the river The lessons I learned.”_ The words were repeated four times before everything went silent.

The whole pub was silent for a moment before it broke out into applause. Q stayed where he was for a moment before he got up, graceful, and took a small bow, looking up at James, winked and smiled before he left the stage. James watched as Q made his way through the crowed, getting smiles and applause as he walked by, he was carefully dodging people who held out their hands. Q disappeared and reappeared a moment later.

“Alright?” Q asked gently, a small smile on his face. He walked up to James and kissed his cheek.

“You’re fucking brilliant and beautiful.”

“Am I?” Q smiled, his hand resting on James’ thigh, almost high enough to be indecent. He gave James’ thigh a squeeze.

“You tease.”

“Can’t help it when you look at me like that.” Q defended himself.

“Fucking tease.” James said, catching Q’s earlobe in-between his teeth, applying just enough pressure.

“James…” Q gasped. “We’re not alone.”

“You started it.” James taunted, kissing Q’s neck before pulling away. “Having any issues?”

“A few.” Q grinned before he sat down, twining his finger’s with James’ on the table.

“Another brilliant show, Q. Did you actually know that one before you sat down?”

“Nope.”

“Your words were ‘I’m competent I suppose’, you fucking lied.” James commented.

“I _am_ only competent. I just have a really good ear, I can play by ear, that’s where my talent is, I wish it were much more than that.”

“You’re brilliant.” James promised.

“I’m flattered.”

“You’ve earned the right to be smug for tonight.”

“I like to think I earn that right every day of my life.” Q smirked.

“Dessert you two?”

“The dark chocolate raspberry cake…for me please.” Q blushed and looked down when James raised an eyebrow at him.

“And you?”

“Same here…” James agreed with a nod. Lou smiled and left them alone. “Always dark chocolate with you, isn’t it?”

“I have a love for dark chocolate that has been carefully tended since my youth. Milk chocolate is too sweet and white chocolate isn’t even chocolate, it’s like…nothing.”

“I’ll make sure to remember that, and here I thought your only love was tea.”

“I can have more than one love.”

“Can you?” James smiled.

“My job, chocolate, tea, computers, Joseph Gordon-Levitt…”

“Hey now—” James protested.

“David Tennant…” Q sighed dreamily, teasing.

“Gabriel—” James said, his voice teasingly irritated.

“Jensen fucking Ackles…” Q said making sure his words sounded absolutely raunchy.

“Gabriel Shaw,” James protested, sitting up ramrod straight, trying to look intimidating.

“What? Did I do something wrong?” Q asked sweetly, a smirk on his face.

“This isn’t a scene from When Harry Met Sally.”

“You’re no fun.” Q sighed. “Eighties rock, white Christmas lights, mint, books, warmth…”

“Those loves are acceptable.”

“The ocean…not ours, I like a different shore, even though I’ll never go back.”

“Why can’t you go back?”

“I’m never getting on a damn plane again, James.”

“There are boats.”

“As if I’d get enough time off to sail all the way to Australia. I don’t know if I’d even go, I burn in the sun and I love my work a bit too much.”

“Where in Australia?”

“Fraser Island, I think…I was five. Da took me and the water was so blue. It has always been my favorite color and it was just perfect. And it was spring, but the water was warm and the air smelt so wonderful and Da told me that if I told Mum I saw a jellyfish up close that Santa wouldn’t visit for the rest of my life.” Q chuckled. “Well, I don’t have petty secrets like that anymore…wish I did.”

“I’ll take you someday, if you want.” James offered.

“Romantic,” Q teased.

“No thanks to you.” James chuckled.

“Here you go, you two.” Lou said, setting down the slices of cake. “I told him about your skills, by the way, you should treat him to a drink.”

“I will.” Q smiled.

“You should. And you know which one to make.”

“I’ll think about it.” Q chuckled.

“That’s still famous here, no one can replicate it.” His tone hinted that he wanted the recipe.

“You have your secrets, I have mine.” Q grinned before Lou sighed heavily and walked away.

“You’re famous for a drink?” Q smirked proudly and lifted his fork, leaning forward slightly and looking up at James.

“Bond, I will make you one drink and I bet you you’ll be bowing in my direction.”

“I doubt it.” James rolled his eyes. Q straightened up, smirk still on his face as he took a bite of his cake.

“What is that drink again? Three measures of [Gordon's](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gordon%27s_Gin), one of [vodka](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vodka), half a measure of [Kina Lillet](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lillet), shaken not stirred with lemon, yes?”

“Exactly.” James nodded. “What about it?”

“You’ll never want to go back, but I’ll never tell you my secret.”

“Are you trying to attempt to chain me to you?”

“Well, you depend on me for missions, weapons, and intelligence, might as well add alcohol. Thankfully one of us will always be sober.”

“I can’t believe you’ve never been drunk.”

“I said I don’t drink, not that I never have.” Q commented, taking another bite of cake. “God this is good. I love Louie’s grandmother too. She made the king of all cakes.” James took a bite and he had to agree, it was a very good cake.

“So you’ve been drunk?”

“Worst two days of my life.” Q shook his head and laughed at himself, taking another bite. “I just wanted to be a little more normal…then I drank, lost control of all of the walls I put up and people were screaming in my head throughout the entire ordeal, including the hangover part and I had the worst migraine I’ve ever had, well almost ever. Almost bad enough to look for a gun.”

“You really can’t stand listening can you?” James asked, taking another bite. He tried desperately not to think of Q searching for a gun to kill himself with.

“Not really, one person at a time is manageable. When I feel threatened, sometimes I listen to the person who makes me nervous, just to make sure they won’t hurt me. One person at a time is alright, but it takes a bit of focus. If I lose control of it all though, if the walls in here collapse,” he tapped his forehead gently, “it’s hell. I think it’s at its worst when someone touches me though… I don’t know why, but it feels like _I’m_ being violated, not the other way around. It’s like someone forced their way into my head and is screaming at me. No one’s voice works the same way, so I don’t know how to stop all of it, so I can’t possibly do it… If I see it coming I can stop it, make it so it’s just unintelligible whispers, but when I don’t see it coming it loud and gives me a headache instantly.”

“I touch you all the time…” James said.

“No…your voice has never _hurt_ me, per se, but it takes a lot to keep it out which hurts, but that’s not your fault. I can block it out, but sometimes it hurts trying to keep it out. It always hurts, trying to keep the noise out, especially if there’s some sort of tactile connection, but then again some people’s voices just hurt in my mind.” Q shrugged, taking another bite before looking at James. “I’m curious. What does it feel like to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Me, in your head. You’re the second person who’s known what I can do and felt it with full knowledge of what was happening, I wonder what it feels like. I’m a scientist…you know…”

“Like your hands are running through my hair, but only in my mind… It’s strange, but pleasant.”

“My friend said it felt like being at that point under water where the pressure’s just a little uncomfortable… So I suppose it doesn’t feel the same to everyone.” Q shrugged, finishing his cake and frowning.

“Don’t you dare,” James warned.

“Please?” Q asked with a small pout.

“Are you fucking pouting?”

“Is it working?”

“No.”

“Yes it is.” Q said, licking his fork clean slowly a small smirk on his lips. James tried to stare him in the eyes stoically, but he was struggling. James relaxed and Q moved slowly (a silent: I told you so) and stole half of what was left on James’ plate (just a small bite, but still a victory). “Such a sweet victory. They say double-os can’t be beaten, I just proved that wrong.” Q smirked. “Just takes a pout apparently.”

“Don’t go telling anyone else that, because it won’t work for them.”

“Oh, hell no, this is my victory and mine alone. It’s too much fun looking at your face, I want that face all to myself.” James took the last bite as Q got up. James looked up when he felt Q’s hands in cupping his face and smiled when Q leaned down and stole a kiss from him. Q kissed him slowly, sweetly, taking his time to explore every bit of him before pulling away. “Just when I thought you couldn’t taste any fucking better.” He pressed a gentle kiss to James’ lips. “Absolutely delicious.”

That’s when James realized he was doomed. It was like a sign had suddenly begun flashing in front of him. This wasn’t anything he’d ever felt before. He was a fucking double-o, he didn’t give in to anyone, he didn’t get depressed when he felt betrayed, he didn’t worry about people, he didn’t cry at someone else’s pain, he didn’t cuddle for hours or even pour that much passion an attention into his kisses.

In spite of the hard and uncomfortable truth of knowing a mind reader, something had changed.

A boffin with sex hair, thick glasses, ugly cardigans, an obsession with tea, dark chocolate, and with a character from Supernatural, a man who was calm and deadly, smart and sarcastic, clever and sweet, handsome and young, a man with warm kisses and tender touches and a voice that could make him feel hope no matter how dark life was, a man with talented vocal cords and gifted fingers…a man with a set of impossible abilities that he loathed and a sad past that he’d managed to fight through… That man had done the impossible.

James Bond had added a person to the very short list of things he loved.

James Bond had fallen in love with Gabriel Shaw, his Quartermaster.

No going back… Brave new world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is obviously Counting Stars by OneRepublic. For the club I mixed a Jazz Club I've been to in Chicago with a bar in Maine that had the best food ever, of all time. The tattoo on Q's back is the same one Ben had when he played Robert Frobisher (Cloud Atlas), because I thought that the mark was absolutely brilliant, so there.  
> Much Love to everyone.


	5. Feel It Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I am not a chemist...at all.  
> There will be a few more fluffy chapters and then things are only going to go downhill. I hope you don't mind.

Q and James walked down the stairs, hand-in-hand, James feeling lighter at his realization. He’d thought he’d loved Vesper, and maybe he had, but he _knew_ he loved Q. There wasn’t a thing in the world he wouldn’t do for the brilliant man, not a thing. “May I borrow the bar please?” Q asked politely when they made it to the bar. The restaurant was a bit less crowded after the performances had ended, four or five spots open at the long bar.

“It’s yours Gabe.” Taylor called. Q led James to a bar stool and pushed him down into it.

“Prepare to be amazed.” Q smiled.

“Mm-hm, amaze me.” James smirked. “I’m not that easy.”

“Yes you are.” Q rolled his eyes before he walked around the bar and started talking to a man a few seats away from James. “So, should I show him my hand or just knock him on his arse and make him _believe_ that it’s my best shot, Cal?”

“I say you give him your best. Speaking of, can I have an Archangel, Gabe?”

“I think I can manage that,” Q smiled before he moved easily, grabbing a tall glass and several bottles. James was shocked, it was like Q had stepped into another skin, he looked completely at ease behind a bar stirring up a concoction. His movements were fluid, easy, almost as easy as his programming and his piano playing. “Here, you go, Cal.” Q said before leaning against the bar, still talking to Cal. “Still good?”

“Damn good, you never lose your touch.”

“I’m just that good.” Q sighed. “Now, does he get the good drink or the okay ones?”

“Who is he?”

“My boyfriend.” Q answered easily, pretending that James wasn’t listening to every word. “He doubts my skills.” No wonder he got so many numbers, Q simply didn’t realize how absolutely fuckable he was when he was that open, that friendly, that chatty, almost flirty. He was always fuckable, but the way he talked to people, his charming voice, just made it that much more of a compelling draw. James didn’t like it, not at all. He didn’t want anyone else to look at Q.

“If he doubts you, give him the Archangel. He’ll do whatever you want him to.”

“I suppose he would…but then again, he’s a poker player…if I play my hand now he might see my strategies in everything else and then what would happen to my life? He’s very good at reading people.”

“Give him the Archangel, trust me.”

“If you insist, I always did trust your judgment.” Q nodded before he got to work.

“So you won his heart?” Cal asked James.

“I hope so.” James said seriously.

“We were pretty good friends back in the day, haven’t talked for a while though... Someone tried to cop a feel when he worked here, I punched them… The poor kid was a bit more than distressed. Sergeant Fields.” Cal held out his hand and James shook it. “He’s a damn good barman, I wish he’d come back.” He nodded and took a drink. “Keep him happy, won’t you?”

“I’ll try.”

“Good.” He smiled as Q shook his drink.

“You’re shaking mine?” James asked with wide eyes.

“Same recipe, different mixing method, I know what you like.” Q shrugged, pouring the glass and putting it in front of James. “I will warn you, don’t drink much after this, you’ll have a hangover from hell if you do. I warn everyone I give it to, only one or two drinks after it and most of them listened…but one of them reported back that I was right when they decided to be an idiot.” Q said leaning against the bar. “One Archangel.”

“Why is it an Archangel?”

“I named it after me, Gabriel.” Q winked.

“We named it something different.” Taylor commented. Q flushed, dark.

“Okay, you have to tell me now.”

“The first time I mixed it I was told it was brilliant and that it needed a name and Louie said it should be named after me and the first name that was offered was…”

“Was what, Gabe?” James asked, leaning forward.

“The G Spot, because, apparently, I hit it every time.” James’ eyes widened at Q’s filthy tone.

“I believe the exact words were: ‘The G Spot, because he hits it every time with every taste.’ Gabe was no fun and changed the name, but everyone calls it the G Spot behind his back.” Taylor winked.

“I thought you said you weren’t putting on shows for people, so far I’ve seen you use your seductive fingers at work, your sultry voice, and your border-line flirtatious bartending…shall I carry around a weapon to keep away all of the poor souls you’ve allured with your charms?”

“Take a sip and find out.” Q smirked confidently. James took a small sip and he looked up at Q with wide eyes. The smug look on Q’s face couldn’t be rivaled even by James’ best smirk.

“Damn…” James stood up and bowed in Q’s direction.

“And look at how the pompous fall at my feet, it’s a beautiful day.”

800Q8

James and Q walked into Q’s flat and James looked over at Q as he locked the door and James felt his heart swell, the dusty old thing he hadn’t thought he had any more was filled with warmth and light. He grabbed Q and pressed his back against the door. “James—” Q gasped before James pressed his lips against his with passion and fire. Q moaned into James’ mouth and Q placed one hand on James’ hip, the other on the back of his neck, pulling him close.

“Gabriel…” James breathed when he pulled away before trailing kisses down Q’s neck, sucking a bruise into the place where Q’s neck met his shoulder before nibbling his way back to the sensitive little dip under Q’s ear.

“Fuck, James…” Q’s voice was wanton, low. James managed to place his thigh in-between Q’s, moving just right to create the perfect amount of friction to make Q’s head fall back against the door and let out a breathy ‘fuck’.

“So beautiful…” James whispered against Q’s jaw before claiming his lips again. Moving against Q with perfect precision.

“Please, please, James.” Q pleaded, not quite sure what for, he’d never felt this sort of heat in his belly before, never felt that much need. James grabbed Q’s hands, needing to stop, putting Q’s hands against the wall and slowly stopping his movements, knowing that this couldn’t happen yet. Q said he couldn’t touch too much of James’ skin and James wasn’t going to make Q’s first time a rutting mess, no, he wanted to take Q apart, slowly. He wanted Q to fall apart in his arms for hours, not quickly against the door of the flat.

“I would love to, Q, I would love to have you right here and now against this door, but I won’t.” James sighed, gently kissing Q’s jaw. “I’m going to wait and give you the time you need so that I can properly take you to bed your first time and make you beg for it. Not like this Gabriel, you deserve perfection your first time…”

“Please…”

“No…not like this.” James promised kissing Q gently, causing the younger man to groan. “Though, if this is your ‘almost sex-hair’ I would really love to see how much more messy it gets.”

“Fucking tease. Are you trying to kill me?” Q asked once he calmed his breath, leaning forward against James’ shoulder.

“Never, my dear boffin.”

“Cold showers all around then…” Q sighed, resigning reluctantly, closing his eyes for a moment before he looked back at James. “Will you stay, please? Stay with me.”

“Always.” James promised, kissing Q’s shoulder tenderly. Q didn’t know what James meant by that, but he liked the sound of it.

800Q8

Q walked into his bedroom to see James, sprawled out on the bed in sweats and a t-shirt. “Are these the pajamas you were talking about?” James asked, looking Q up and down, the hole-filled sleep pants and worn out t-shirt.

“Don’t knock them, these have been with me since Uni.” Q defended.

“Go figure, you’d still fit.” James scoffed. “Bet you can still do more damage than me in them.”

“You’re damn right I can.” Q chuckled before getting into his side of the bed. He slid under the covers and slid close to James’ side, clinging to his warmth. James smiled and stroked his hair before reaching for the light. “Wait…”

“What is it?” James asked.

“Put these on the side table for me?” Q requested holding out his glasses. James put his hand over Q’s.

“You sure?”

“I’ll be alright, just don’t leave me.” Q asked.

“Alright.” James put the glasses on the side table and shut off the light before turning over and pulling Q against his chest. “I’ve got you.” James promised, kissing the top of Q’s head, feeling his damp locks against his nose.

“I know.” Q agreed, snuggling against James’ chest. The trust Q offered made James’ heart crack. He’d walked out on the man, left him behind, and yet Q’s heart was big enough to open up and accept him all over again. James was still having issues with the, I can read your thoughts, he knew he loved Q, but there was still a wariness then, a part of his brain that said it was dangerous—spies don’t much care for people delving into their secrets, they can’t care for it. He wanted to trust Q, but part of him couldn’t yet…but Q just opened right up without question.

James smiled when he felt Q’s hands gripping his shirt and felt the lean body curl up against him. He was content and he closed his eyes. He felt Q relaxing against him until suddenly Q jolted in his arms, his eyes wide open, jade and full of fear. “Shh,” he whispered, running his fingers through Q’s hair. “I’ve got you, you’re alright, you’re safe, nothing can touch you here.” One of Q’s hands drifted to James’ face and gently ran over it, brushing through his hair before James felt a gentle kiss against his chest and the hand moving back to his shirt. “Sweet dreams, Gabriel. I love you.”

Q was already asleep.

800Q8

“Ooh, look at you, Q, how was it?” Eve asked as soon as she walked into Q’s office.

“How was what?”

“Make-up sex, obviously.”

“We didn’t.”

“Not what that mark on your neck says. And besides, James is grinning like a fool.”

“We didn’t…” Q shrugged.

“God, who the fuck wouldn’t shag that man on every surface possible? Who in their right mind wouldn’t shag _you_ everywhere? Oh my God…no?” Eve asked with wide eyes. “There’s no way.”

“No way what?”

“There’s no way you’re still a virgin, that can’t possibly be.”

“Well, it is and I’m not discussing it with you.”

“James must love you.”

“What?”

“Q, sweetie, it’s no secret that James is a sexual being, he may not care about all of the shags on the job, but he has had his fair share here at home, you come along and he goes on a fucking dry spell? I’m telling you, that man loves you.”

“Eve, I don’t think so, but I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him.”

“You two are so adorable.” Eve squealed before half-dancing out of the room. Q’s phone rang and he shook his head, picking it up.

“Q,” Q answered.

“ _Hello, this is M, I need equipment prepared for Bond, I’m sending you the details, but there’s a mess in Turkey that is best dealt with before people notice it.”_

“Alright,” Q answered, not glad that Bond was leaving, but understanding, it was the job and they both loved it. “No problem.”

“ _You two made up then_?”

“Oh dear God, if one more person asks.” Q frowned as he opened the files, he sighed after he’d scanned them. It was going to be a very easy mission, it may take a while, but it would be easy.

“ _Well, you two looked like shit. I was a bit concerned.”_

“Seems everyone was. Alright, I’m going to go get everything around. Thank you for calling me, M.”

“ _No problem.”_ M responded. Q hung up before he started walking to the armory, sweeping around it quickly and grabbing everything he’d need before heading back to the largest work area. James was already leaning casually against his desk in front of the large screens.

“Hello, 007.” Q smiled gently, putting the equipment in his hands down.

“Q,” James smiled back, just a quirk of his lips. “Have anything good for me?”

“If you’re asking about an exploding pen, then no.”

“You’re no fun.” James sighed heavily before Q began to run him through everything.

“Do bring it all back in one piece, they throttle me otherwise.” Q warned him as James started putting everything in its proper place.

“Well, I wouldn’t want anyone touching that pretty neck of yours, would I?” James smirked, as he stowed his gun.

“I wouldn’t, no.” Q stated simply.

“Thank you, Q, I’ll try to be good.” James promised before he turned away.

“Wait, 007?” Q called out. James paused and turned around.

“Yes?”

“I forgot something.”

“Did you?” James wondered, concerned, Q never forgot anything. Q took a few steps forward and pulled James into a warm, gentle kiss.

“There, I think that’s everything.” Q smiled, not caring enough to notice that people were staring, that work had ceased.

“Mm, well, we can never forget that, can we?” James smiled.

“We shouldn’t.”

“I agree.” James chuckled.

“Be safe.”

“You know me.”

“I’ll be in your ear then, keeping you safe.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” James winked before he walked away.

“Don’t you all have work to do?” Q called out after the door had closed on James. Everyone jumped and started moving.

800Q8

Q lay on the couch in his office, having just barely managed to get 004 through hell and back without much more than three knife wounds and one bullet to the shoulder, it had not been an easy day and he knew just by judging the time that he would get no rest. Four in the morning, meant no sleep at all, not even a cat nap. Q sighed heavily and closed his eyes, he may not sleep, but he was at least going to give his body a rest.

 _“Why are you still on open comms?”_ A voice made Q jump twenty minutes later.

“Damn, forgot to turn it off.” Q commented, happy to hear James’ voice. James would be up, it would be half-six for him.

“ _Why are you still awake, Q?”_ James asked.

“It was a rough day at the office, dear.” Q sighed.

“ _I’m sorry, Q. Are you alright?”_

“I’m fine, just tired. Can’t sleep though, so I’m resting.”

_“Don’t let me bother you.”_

“You’re not.” Q promised, honestly. He didn’t want to risk sounding like an emotional girl, but hearing James’ voice after a rough day was brilliant and reassuring.

_“Alright?”_

“I almost lost 004 today, James I...” Q stopped, took a deep breath and tried to relax. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t bother you with this.”

“ _It’s alright, Q. What happened?”_

“I was almost too slow if I would have waited just one more second…” Q bit his lip when he heard his voice quiver, sure that James must have heard it as well.

 _“Hey, listen to me, Q, sh, it’s alright. It’s alright, Q.”_ Jamesbreathed _._ Q felt horrible. James didn’t cry; James never shook. He was always sturdy. The little things didn’t scare him or make him want to cry.

“No, it’s not, it’s not alright, first M and nearly 004 and… God what if it was you?”

“ _What are you talking about_?”

“It’s my job to make sure you come home. What if I’m too slow? What if I don’t tell you something that’s really important? What if there’s a flaw in something I give you? What if I get you killed, just like M?”

“ _M wasn’t your fault—”_

“Yes, she bloody well was. Had I predicted—had I seen what I was supposed to Silva would have never escaped in the first place!”

“ _Q, listen to me, listen to me. It wasn’t your fault. You can’t predict the future, things happen—”_

“Well, they shouldn’t! It’s my job to stop them!” Q snapped.

“ _Q, listen to me, listen to me right now.”_ James said, his voice stern, an order not even the bravest of men would—or could—ignore. _“Q, it’s not your fault. You do more for us than anyone else has ever done. You are the best Quartermaster we have ever had, you already have the cleanest record any Q has ever had. You don’t have a single death on your record.”_

“Yes, I—”

_“What happened to M wasn’t your fault. It was an accident. It was a trap that we both stepped into knowingly, we knew the dangers and you had no way to watch over us. It wasn’t your fault.”_

“I led him right to you.”

 _“I asked you to.”_ James told him. “ _Don’t you remember that? You remember that, don’t you, Q? I asked you to lead him to me. I asked you to send him in my direction. Remember? It wasn’t strictly official, but you did it for me anyway, you trusted me and so did M. M was my fault, Q, not yours. Your record is still clean, Q, and you saved 004 today. You save us every day, Q… None of this is your fault, okay?”_ James said in a gentle voice. “ _Q, tell me you understand that.”_

“James…”

 _“Q, it’s alright. Everything’s fine.”_ James promised. _“No one’s hurt, okay? Everyone’s perfect, you did it, everyone’s safe.”_

“I know, I know… I’m just… I don’t know… I just… I’m s-sorry.”

“ _There’s nothing to be sorry about, it’s alright.”_ No, it wasn’t alright. Q was better than this, he wasn’t supposed to be upset like this. _“Q, this happens every once in a while, sometimes it gets to you, it gets to me too. Alright? Shh… I’ve got you. It’s alright.”_ James promised. Q shattered, shaking sobbing. Barring James leaving, he hadn’t cried for an emotional reason for the better half of his life. He didn’t do it, he just didn’t, and he hated that he broke in front of James, the strongest man he knew. “ _I’m here, you’re alright… Shh, it’s going to be alright_.” It took him a few moments to calm down, James whispering soothing words through the earpiece.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” Q whispered as he regained control of himself.

“ _Shh, it’s alright, it’s okay… Are you laying down in your office?”_ James asked gently.

“Yes,” Q sniffled, wiping his face.

“ _Alright, close your eyes.”_

“I won’t be able to sleep.”

 _“Trust me…just close your eyes. I’ll be right here, talking to you until you fall asleep. I’m not going anywhere until you get some sleep, you certainly need it.”_ James commented.

“But I can’t….”

“ _Try…”_ James ordered, before he started talking gently to Q, random things, some sweet little nothings, some little stories, and some little flirts. For once, Q didn’t jolt, wide awake in fear, he fell into a deep, warm sleep, surrounded by the sound of James’ voice. James’ voice stopped for a moment when he heard a soft snore, nearly not-there. Q didn’t snore, but after sobbing as he had apparently he did. “ _Sleep well, Q… I love you_.” James promised quietly before going quiet, making sure he didn’t wake up Q.

800Q8

“Go to medical, James.” Eve rolled her eyes.

“It’s just a scratch.”

“Funny, that is pretty much what Q said.”

“Q?”

“He’s in medical too.” Eve shrugged.

“What happened?” James wondered.

“Calm down, he’s alright, lab accident, one of the new minions accidently spilled a chemical, burned Q’s foot, apparently.” James left and made his way to medical quickly.

“I’m telling you, I’m fine. I know the chemical, l—you don’t have to do tests, it won’t leave any permanent damage. It won’t even scar. I made sure it wouldn’t leave any damage. It’s a minor burn, may hurt to walk but it’s hardly worthy of—”

“I’m just making sure, Q.” A doctor said. James heard Q sigh heavily and he pushed open the door on his right. James looked at Q and looked down at his right foot, stripped bare, his sock had been burned through, a bit of a red burn on his skin, a little bit irritated and bleeding little spots in one area, but not bad. “I don’t want it getting infected. I don’t know what you put on it…”

“It was a just a base to neutralize it so it wouldn’t burn anymore.” The doctor flashed a glare at Q. “I’m a fucking chemist, I’m fine.” Q rolled his eyes.

“I wish it would have spilt on your chest, then maybe something productive would have been done today.” James stated, looking at the cardigan Q wore with distain, Q had many ugly cardigans, but this one was the worst, an ugly grey and red thing that was far too long on him.

“Shut up, Bond, I like my cardigans; last time I checked, you own some as well.”

“Not as atrocious as yours.” James chuckled.

“Mine are nice.” Q protested.

“I swear, one day I’ll buy you something _really_ nice, something that will keep you warm and show you off a bit.” James winked.

“Are you objectifying me?”

“No, I’m just saying that I can’t see your arse with that damn cardigan on.”

“You are, you pig!” Q teased with a warm smile.

“You caught me.” James raised his hands in surrender but stepped forward. “But I like other parts of you too.”

“Do you?” Q asked with a smile.

“Only a few, most of it, though, could use some work and I have several suggestions for—”

“Shut up, you.” Q rolled his eyes and pulled James forward by his lapels, kissing him soundly. “Mm, welcome back. How was Turkey?”

“Boring.” James shrugged, kissing him again, gently. “But I brought presents for you.”

“Did you?” Q asked, a warm smile coloring his face as he looked up at him. “Hopefully socks?” He said, wiggling his toes slightly.

“I brought your equipment back in one piece.”

“Ooh, that _is_ a treat.”

“And Turkish Delight.” James whispered in his ear before gently kissing his neck.

“Mm, sounds lovely… Wait…you didn’t leave it upstairs did you?”

“Yes, why?”

“Well, it’s the thought that counts, but I guarantee it’s gone by now, put sugar around the minions and it’s gone.” Q chuckled. “That’s why I have dark chocolate stashed in a locked drawer in my desk, they’re not that brave to try to steal from me, let alone attempt to hack their way in.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll have to get you something else then, won’t I? You know, if you’re going to get injured on the job, maybe you should stick to computers.” James commented, looking down at his foot.

“It wasn’t my fault, the padawan did it.” Q rolled his eyes before he noticed it. “You’re bleeding.”

“It’s just a small cut. I’m fine.”

“Should get it cleaned, wouldn’t want you to get an infection, those can be nasty.”

“And your foot should be getting cleaned. Or shall I leave the room and give you two some time alone?” The doctor asked sarcastically.

“Are we allowed time alone?” James smirked.

“Because I officially have the ability to say no, the answer is no.”

“Damn…” James sighed, sitting next to Q. The doctor rolled his eyes and quickly began to clean Q’s foot. “What was it?” James wondered.

“Just hydrochloric acid, it could have been much worse.”

“Was it pure?” The doctor wondered.

“Why would I use a diluted form of anything?” Q asked with a scoff. “That’s simply no fun at all.”

“I don’t know why I ask, even the fucking Q-Branch is infiltrated with reckless people…damn.” He shook his head as he bandaged Q’s foot.

“I would like it to be known that this is my first incident and it wasn’t my fault and that I handled it quite perfectly, got everything off, used a base to stop it from burning me more and washed it all off, honestly it was no big deal, I don’t know why they sent me down here.”

“And stubborn.” He sighed before turning to James. “Alright, you too, what did you get yourself into this time?”

“Just a scratch.” James promised, glancing at Q in warning before he pulled off his shirt. His left arm and a small line on the left side of his chest had been cut open by a knife. It had stopped bleeding in all but one spot that was slowly oozing in a lazy manner.

“Not bad at all, actually.” The doctor smiled. “Alright, let’s get you cleaned up so you two can go make eyes somewhere else—preferably away from me.” Q, who had been putting on his shoe, purposefully looked up at James with an expression of longing, which James returned at the same instant. “For God’s sake you two! Get out, Q before I have you removed. Try not to walk too much and if it hurts take pain medication, now get out of my hair.”

“Alright.” Q chuckled and left the room, only a slight hesitance in his stride, mostly because of the awkward placement of the bandage. He winked at James as he left and headed for Q-Branch. He sighed when he saw a tin, empty on his desk next to James’ equipment (all in one piece). “Thanks everyone.” Q sighed heavily, he had wished that there was just one left. A minion who passed paused at the comment.

“Oh…was that yours?”

“Yes, James brought it back for me.” Q stated, not the first gift Q had received from James, but he found them all to be precious, not just for the gifts, but because James had thought to get them, that alone made them all perfect.

“Sorry, Q…” He blushed and looked down. “He has excellent taste though.”

“Just don’t go stealing things from your boss next time.” James commented, instantly everyone in the branch was a bit antsy, well, at least all of the minions were antsy. They always were a bit nervous when a double-o stepped into the branch. R, Q, and Eve were the only ones who stood their ground against them, and Eve was only in Q-Branch part-time.

“Yes, sir…” The minion whispered before he walked away hastily.

“Well, that got rid of him.” James grinned.

“Are you feeling alright?” Q wondered. “You’ve been acting strangely. Please don’t tell me it’s about…I’m better now. I’m doing a lot better.” They both knew he was talking about the talk they had had during his mission.

“I know, it’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” Q wondered.

“Can’t I be in a good mood?”

“Yes, but typically you’re a bit more sarcastic, you know, like that comment about my cardigan.” Q said, while he went over James’ equipment, filing the reports on every piece. “I don’t know, just a bit strange, I’m usually the more, well, open, feely one.” Q stated, putting everything together and walking with the box towards the armory. James followed him. “See? Look, you’re following me now, normally this is when you go to debrief with M or you go shoot something with 006 or working out… This isn’t typical.” Q said as he punched in the code to open the door.

“So?”

“So, you never do anything unconsciously.” Q commented.

“Do you want the truth?” James wondered, shifting slightly, feeling shy and a bit insecure.

“Yes,” Q nodded as he slid James’ equipment into the compartment that was solely for him. He tuned to look at James and his eyebrows pulled together slightly. “You know you can tell me if something’s wrong, especially with that episode you had to overhear from me. If something happened on the mission, you can tell me.”

“It happened before the mission.”

“Well, we _should_ probably talk a bit more about that disagreement or my head problem in a bit more detail…that makes sense, I can understand what that would bother you. I mean it’s taken me years to get used to and it’s my own head, there are still things I don’t know.”

“It’s not that.”

“Oh?”

“Well, we do need to talk about that, but that isn’t the…” James didn’t know how to say what he meant, what he felt… He’d never had to say it before.

“What—?” James cupped the boffin’s face and slowly pulled him forward and pressed his lips against his, sweet, slow, tender, loving. Q’s hands gripped James’ hips and pulled their torsos and hips together as James gently ran his fingers through Q’s untidy locks. Q felt a shiver go down his spine as heat began to pool in his belly, God it was pure torture to have that man in front of him and not _have_ him, but it was the sweetest torture. James kissed along Q’s jaw before whispering four words into his ear.

“I love you, Gabriel.” The warmth that burned through both of them at those words was nothing short of a roaring fire. Q pulled back and lifted his hands to cup James’ face and pull him into another kiss, full of as much feeling as he knew how to muster.

“I love you, James.” Q promised when they broke away for breath, simply holding each other for a minute, until Q broke out into a fit of giggles.

“What?” James asked, slightly worried.

“It’s just…so like you and me to have this conversation at work of all the damn places.”

“Well, it’s not uncommon to mix things you love together, and since work was on both of our lists…” James shrugged.

“Mm, have I been officially added to your list?”

“Right at the top.” James promised.

“Well, you’d be at the top as well, but I just can’t get over Jensen—” Q was shut up by a passionate, warm, oh-my-God-don’t-stop kiss. “Well, I s-suppose I can clear a spot for you at the t-top.” Q stammered when James finally released him.

“You’d better.” James teased.

“Well, I—dammit!” Q hissed when his phone interrupted him. He answered his phone quickly. “Hello?”

“ _We need you on the bridge.”_ R stated. _“If you’re in the middle of a quickie hurry it the fuck up and get your arse up here.”_

“On my way.” He hung up and kissed James gently. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be, go do some damage.”

“I wish I had my pajamas, so much more comfortable…”

“Go get ‘em, Q, we’ll talk more tonight.”

“Our place?”

“Our place?”

“Might as well be, you’re there almost all the time. And I would like it very much if you moved in for real.”

“I’d love to… I’ll even have dinner waiting for you.”

“You are amazing.”

“You’re not half, bad yourself.” James winked.

“If you’re ordering in, I trust your judgment, if you’re going to cook, don’t burn the flat down.”

“I won’t, dear.”

“Dear God, don’t go completely domestic on me. We’d end up killing each other if we did.” Q chuckled.

“Definitely not going completely domestic, better go, they need you.”

“Don’t they always?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much Love.


	6. Dreaming About...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Skyfall references ahead, enjoy. Also: migraines (not as enjoyable).

At work they were Q and Bond, often they didn’t bring their relationship into work (much to M and Tanner’s relief and Eve’s despair). (There was of course flirting and witty/sarcastic remarks, but nothing that would make anyone entirely uncomfortable.)Even during tough assignments they kept their heads, at most they shared a kiss when James left and when he returned, though Eve had caught them simply holding each other after a particularly difficult assignment. She found the two of them absolutely adorable and teased them, but never told anyone that she swore she’d seen James shaking in Q’s arms.

At home it was an entirely different matter. Usually they were Q and James at home, James rarely calling Q Gabriel so that the name had a bit of a special connotation to it. Unlike what Eve liked to tease them about, they were a very sweet couple, cuddling, relaxing, and working together easily. Their dates consisted of dinners and even a few trips to the range where James retaught Q how to shoot. Q had the best marksmanship scores in MI6 after that particular lesson.

More often than not their dates had become more active, they both needed some way to get out the excess energy they had building between them. It was the worst for Q, trying constantly to find a way to touch James without infringing on his privacy. It had made him quite irritable several times, frustrated him that he couldn’t just be closer to James. But he kept working on it, and he got better.

“James?” Q asked gently as he walked into their room.

“Yes?” James looked up from the laptop in his lap.

“Can you…? Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do.” James nodded.

“I want to try something, I’ve been practicing…”

“Spit it out, Q.” James said, folding his laptop and putting it on the side table.

“Can you take off your shirt please?”

“Yeah,” James answered with an easy smile, trying to put Q at ease as he pulled his t-shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the floor. Q slowly moved and sat down on the edge of the bed, next to James’ hip.

“Don’t move okay? I don’t know if I can deal with unexpected movements right now.”

“I’m all yours.” James promised. Q pulled off his own shirt before gently touching James’ shoulders with his hands. He looked James’ torso up and down slowly, tracing paths with his fingers, taking note of every scar that he’d earned over the years, tracing them tenderly. He leaned down slowly and pressed a small kiss to the scar the bullet wound that had nearly killed him had left behind. James didn’t move, but goosebumps appeared all over his flesh.

“I just want to be able to hold you, like a normal person. You and I both hate sleeping in shirts, but I make it so we have to…I just… I want to try, I want to just see if I can do it without invading your head…” Q whispered gently, tracing the muscles slowly with his fingers. “Just, don’t move.” Q requested and James smiled a slight, reassuring smile. Q slowly moved, straddling James’ hips before biting his lip and slowly leaning forward, skin meeting skin.

Q tensed, hearing the whispers dancing outside of his walls grow louder—still unintelligible, but louder, a pressure pushing down on him from all directions, sharp stabs in some areas. He took a deep breath before he lay forward a bit more, resting his entire torso against James’. His whole body tensed when briefly a voice punctured through the walls he had built, but he quickly rebuilt them, not relaxing until James’ internal monologue had become nothing more than whispers and pressure on his head, almost like having a head cold, but not too terrible, Q knew it would get worse, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Q wrapped his arms around the back of James’ shoulders and buried his face in his neck. The more skin Q’s skin met, the harder it was to keep James’ thoughts out, but he managed it.

“I’m alright… I’m okay. I’m sorry about that moment, I lost control briefly.”

“It’s alright, Q.” James promised, marveling at the feel of Q’s slender form pressed against his, both of them half-bare.

“You can move, I think everything’s alright now. I feel in control. I feel like I’ve got control of it. Just, move slowly.” James gently put his hands at the base of Q’s spine, holding him gently.

“Are you alright?” James asked.

“I’m fine…just a bit of pressure, it’s manageable, fine.” Q promised. James smiled gently and kissed the side of her face, feeling the very slight growth of stubble on Q’s face rub against his skin. James gently began to trace patterns up Q’s back, feeling goosebumps erupt on Q’s skin. “James…” Q sighed happily, pressing his lips against James’ neck. He couldn’t help but let out a small, happy, triumphant laugh at being able to feel the texture and warmth of James’ bare skin on his.

“What are you giggling at?”

“I can feel you. I can hold half of you without having two layers of fabric between us.” Q pulled back just enough so that James could see him smiling.

“You’re so beautiful, so damn beautiful.” James grinned, lifting his head slightly to press their lips together. His hands gliding over the newly exposed skin. He ran his hands down Q’s sides and Q squirmed away with wide eyes and a giggle. “Ooh, are you ticklish, my dear Q?”

“How would I know? I haven’t been touched in over twenty-five years, at least not much more than an occasional hug from very select people, how should I know if I’m ticklish or not?” Q asked.

“My poor, sweet, Q… There’s so much you don’t know about yourself and I’m going to spend as much time as it takes to teach you.” James promised gently. He moved his hand down Q’s left side and got no reaction, then he moved his hand down Q’s right side.

“Hey, stop! Stop that!” Q said, unable to help but giggle as James teased his ticklish side.

“Look at you squirm, it’s adorable.”

“No it’s not,” Q protested with a pout.

“Don’t like being tickled?”

“Why would anyone? The sensation of tickling is your mind panicking. I’ve done the research.”

“I think you’re cute when you squirm.” James teased before he moved on, making sure to touch and tease every bit of the skin Q was able to offer.

“Oh!” Q exclaimed when James’ fingers massaged a place on the small of his back, heat pooled low in his stomach at the touch.

“Sensitive there?” James smiled.

“I would say so.” Q commented, trying to control his arousal, knowing he wasn’t yet able to do anything—at all—in that particular area.

“Mm, I’ll remember that.” James promised before he slowly rolled over. Then he moved, straddling Q instead. Q sighed quietly as the pressure on his mind lifted. James slowly put his hands on Q’s shoulders. “Do you mind if I explore just a little bit?” Q shook his head and James smiled. He slowly ran his fingers over Q’s shoulders. He knew the tender spots there, he’d massaged them a few times when Q was stressed, but he needed to know more. He slowly ran his fingers over Q’s collarbones before traveling lower, teasing Q’s nipples which made him gasp and arch upwards.

“God, what you do to me, you beautiful man…”

“Someday I’ll do so much more.” James swore, teasing the pebbled rosebuds once more, drawing a delicious sound from him. “So responsive, so damn beautiful, so perfect for me.”

“God, are you trying to kill me?”

“Never, my sweet Q.” James promised, leaning down to kiss Q sweetly, unable to resist.

“It sure feels like it sometimes.”

“Why would I ever want to hurt you? I mean, I’d love to see what you look like when you’re destroyed, but that will have to be another time, won’t it? I promise I’ll be very thorough.” James teased as he ran his hands lower, exploring Q’s slightly concave stomach with great interest, finding another sensitive spot just above the tantalizing path of his V. “God, look at how you arch your back, stunning.”

“You get off on torturing me, don’t you?”

“Yes,” James answered simply, moving just enough, shifting just right so that his erection created just the right amount of friction against Q’s.

“Fuck.”

“Naughty,” James teased before he smiled gently, kissing Q’s cheek and rolling both of them onto their sides, tangling the clothed legs together and pulling Q close. Q froze. “I’m sorry, I should have warned you.”

“I’m alright… I’ve got it.” Q promised, snuggling close to James, humming quietly when James ran his fingers through his hair. “That feels wonderful.”

“Does it?”

“Mmhm.” Physically, yes…mentally Q was aching already.

“Get some rest, Q.” James whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to Q’s forehead.

“Glasses.” Q stated.

“Lazy…” James teased, taking off Q’s glasses and putting them on the side table before sliding as close as he could to Q again. “Goodnight.”

“Mm, goodnight, James.”

It took three panic attacks before Q finally calmed down, but eventually he fell asleep, James following after him.

800Q8

_Q looked around at Louie’s kitchen, noting that it was empty and he smiled happily. He heard someone out in the restaurant and peeked outside, smiling when he saw James sitting in a chair near the stage. He walked forward with a grin, hoping to reach him quickly, but James wasn’t looking at him. James was staring lovingly at someone else on the stage. Q frowned before he looked up at the stage, seeing himself sitting at the piano._

_He watched himself start to play and sing for James._

_“I don’t understand… James?” Q asked. James suddenly whirled around, tense, looking at Q with wide eyes._

800Q8

Q jolted awake just as James did and Q scrambled to put his barriers back up again. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” He whispered to James. “Usually it doesn’t go away at night… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“Shh…it’s alright. You scared me. Didn’t notice you were in there until you spoke.”

“I thought I was dreaming.” Q shook his head.

“You were, you were just dreaming my dream.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Shh,” James whispered, stroking Q’s cheek. “You can’t always control it, I understand.”

“You dream about me?” Q asked after a few minutes. Trying to relax, but knowing why his walls had backed off, trying to protect him from what would happen if he kept them up through the entire night.

“Often…” James smiled gently.

“I’m flattered.”

“What do you dream about?” James wondered.

“I don’t dream often, but when I do it’s you…and work sometimes, when I’m stressed or really focused on a problem I haven’t quite solved yet…” Q frowned. “I’m sorry for stealing your dreams…”

“It’s okay, honey.” James swore, nuzzling closer. Who knew James Bond was a cuddler? “Get some sleep…”

“Okay.” Q sighed, pressing a brief kiss to James’ cheek.

“You’re not going to sleep are you?”

“I can’t, not after that. I don’t want to lose control, not again.”

“If I tell you a bedtime story, would it help?” James knew that if he could get Q’s mind off of it he might be able to relax and sleep again.

“It might…” Q conceded after a moment.

“I didn’t respect you at first, not when you first sat down in front of that painting: The Fighting Temeraire. You were too young, too naïve, just not what I was used to seeing in a Q. But it didn’t take long for you to earn my respect.”

“ _Always makes me feel a little melancholy. A grand old warship being ignominiously hauled away for scrap. The inevitability of time, don't you think? What do you see?”_

_“A bloody big ship. Excuse me.”_

_“007… I'm your new Quartermaster.”_

_“You must be joking.”_

_“Why, because I'm not wearing a lab coat?”_

_“Because you still have spots.”_

_“My complexion is hardly relevant.”_

_“Well, your competence is.”_

_“Age is no guarantee of efficiency.”_

_“And youth is no guarantee of innovation.”_

_“I'll hazard I can do more damage on my laptop sitting in my pajamas before my first cup of Earl Grey than you can do in a year in the field.”_

Q was stunned that he’d remembered all of that. “Of course… You couldn’t have known I was feeling like that ‘grand old warship’, but that’s not what got me, what got me is that you didn’t back down from me. Most people do, they bow right down when I decide to pick at their ways of thinking. You didn’t. Later I got a bit of your sense of humor, though it wasn’t funny at the time.”

“ _It won't open.”_

_“Of course it will. Put your back into it.”_

“Of all the things that could possibly be said about the impending doom of a train coming to kill someone: ‘That’s vexing’ isn’t exactly the most reassuring thing to hear, but I damn well chuckled a bit afterwards.”

“How do you remember all of this?” Q wondered. He remembered it, but then again he remembered almost everything.

“I’m a spy, I don’t forget much.” James shrugged. “You gained my trust a while later.”

“ _Q? I need help.”_

_“I'm tracking the car. Where are you going?”_

_“I've got M. We're about to disappear.”_

_“What?”_

_“I need you to lay a trail of breadcrumbs impossible to follow for anyone except Silva. Think you can do it?”_

_“I'm guessing this isn't strictly official.”_

_“Not even remotely.”_

_“So much for my promising career in espionage.”_

“You didn’t say no, you didn’t care that I was asking you to commit a treasonous act, you were loyal to me, your agent, not the bureaucracy. You didn’t even ask why—whether you knew my plan or not—you simply trusted me to get the job done. You were willing to put everything on the line to help me and trust me. That’s when you earned my trust as well as my loyalty. Why else do you think that when you say jump, I jump? You earned my trust nearly from the very start, I know you care about bringing me back—not only in one piece but how I’d prefer to come back—more than you care about a job, and you treat the other agents that way as well.”

“Sometimes I think I care too much to have my job.”

“You care just enough, Q.” James smiled. “Then you showed me your strength. After M had died so many people sat in that damn room, trying to figure out what to write, how to put it into words… Mallory just sat there staring at his screen and you looked around at everyone before you grabbed his shoulder.”

_“Yes, Q?”_

_“Sir, I think I know what to say.”_

_“Thank you, Q.”_

“He got up and you took his seat and started typing away, only took you a few minutes but then you smiled at all of us, gently, the calm way only you can manage and you smiled at me the longest, just a second longer, but enough to let me know everything you were thinking.”

_“Well, I may have known her almost the briefest of all of us, but she was the one who found me, and she taught me a lot, so I can’t imagine what she did for you when she did so much for me in a short time… I can read this aloud to you if you would like, so that we know whether it’s appropriate or not. Honorable enough for such a lovely woman and a good leader.”_

“Your voice didn’t even shake, many of those people were nearing tears but held it together because of you, because of how you spoke, how you kept control. It’s hard to break a room of MI6 operatives and even more difficult for one man to manage to keep them all from shattering. It took strength.”

“I was more upset than you were. See, everyone was so upset, I could feel it. I didn’t have to read anyone, the whispers around me were so dark and upset it was starting to drag me down into such a dark place, I had to keep you all afloat because I couldn’t afford to lose my head, I had a job to do.”

“See? Still strength. You felt everything we did and still managed to keep us from becoming glass shards on the floor.”

“I try…” Q sighed.

“The first time I saw you as a friend was a while later, a few months later. I had come back from hell in Berlin and I was frustrated because it hadn’t gone as planned. I was taking it out on myself, training much harder than I should have. It was midnight and you walked in and stood by the door, just in my sight. I nearly shot you, you scared the hell out of me, but you didn’t even flinch at the gun I had on you.”

_“Hello, 007. I’d very much appreciate it if you put that gun down, I’m not here to hurt you… Thank you. I was watching through the camera, thought you needed some time to blow off some steam, but enough is enough, you’ll hurt yourself if you continue on and we can’t have that. Do you need to…talk about it?”_

“I tore you apart. I did nothing but shout at you and say the most disrespectful, demeaning things to you. It was absolutely deplorable the way I spoke to you…but you stood there, your hands in your pockets, face slightly upset (but not about what I said, of course). You didn’t say a word, not until I was burned out.”

_“Feeling better then, Bond? Listen…what happened was terrible, but what could have happened would have been much more severe had you not done as you did. You know it and I know it everyone else can fuck themselves because they’re idiots. Hurting yourself won’t do a damn bit of good, but I’m sure the shouting felt good… You look like hell, go home, take a few days off. I’ll cover for you. I’ll do the paperwork and stall M’s need for the debrief as long as I can. Just…get some rest, you need it and you deserve it.”_

“I said I was sorry when I came back, but you just smiled and shrugged. You didn’t care that I’d called you everything under the sun that would be considered upsetting to polite ears. To me that screamed some sort of friendship.”

“Did it?” Q wondered, snuggling closer to James. He had a headache, he knew that sleeping like this with James, skin-on-skin, was going to make for one hell of a migraine in the morning, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Yeah, I tried to be better, nicer, to you after that, more like a friend and less like a co-worker in debt.”

“That’s when I started to fall for you.” Q told him. “I resisted for so long…then I saw you hurting and…I don’t know…after that night. I mean I always thought you were fucking gorgeous, but there were feelings after that, feelings I’d never had before.”

“I’m glad you have them.”

“You should be.” Q chuckled before he paused. “You know…you could have anyone, any fucking person you want, man or woman…and here you are with a broken boffin who can’t hardly touch you. Thank you…”

“You’re not broken and who in the hell would I ever want when I have you?”

“Someone who can touch you for starters, someone who can see you with their glasses off, someone who doesn’t threaten the sanctity of your mind because they can’t always control themselves.”

“You’re touching me right now—”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant, but listen to me. You hold me every night I’m here. When you’re glasses are off I get to see those green eyes you hide from everyone else and feel your hands all over me because that is how you see me. And you know how I’m always up for a little danger.”

“Not like this, not when it’s your mind.”

“You’re worth it.”

“I’m not so sure.”

“Well, I say you are.” James swore, kissing Q’s forehead and stroking his hair lovingly. “Rest, my love.”

“Okay…” Q smiled, curling close to James, trying to close his eyes and fall asleep before his head really started to pound. He hoped he could escape James’ notice in the morning.

800Q8

Q woke up first and jolted out of bed, making a dash for the bathroom, startling James. “Q?” James asked, he glanced at the clock and frowned, it was thirty minutes before it was supposed to go off, and Q always slept in. Q hadn’t grabbed his glasses. Was he sick? He got up and walked to the bathroom, knocking on the door. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, James.” Q answered, his voice sounding distorted. James turned the handle but it was locked.

“Q, are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” Q called out, his voice still muffled, things were moving, something fell with a rattle.

“Q, open the door. You don’t have your glasses.” James stated, walking back to the nightstand to grab them before going to the door. Q sat against the door, the pills he had stashed in a small cubby under the sink in his hands, a warm washcloth against his face. He took two pills quickly, hoping they would kill his migraine before he put the bottle away and opened the door.

“I’m fine, can’t see, but it’s just a bloody nose.” Q said, trying to sound normal. It wasn’t an easy feat, not when his head felt like someone was sawing into it. It was such a horrible headache it made his stomach roll, the world spin, and everything hurt. He took his glasses from James and put them on his face. “Thanks for that.”

“A bloody nose?” James asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, it is fine, probably the weather.”

“Don’t lie, Q, just don’t. We’ve talked about that…”

“It’s my head…keeping you out didn’t feel great. It’s alright though, it’ll be fine.” Q promised after a moment. James sighed and pulled on a shirt before he wrapped his arms around Q.

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s not your fault, James, I’m just fucked up.” Q sighed heavily. “Worth the bloody nose to be able to hold you.” James sighed and slowly pulled away.

“Breakfast?”

“Please. I’m going to stop this as much as I can.” Between the two of them, they had learned that—if they were both ever home for a whole day—they could manage three square meals and dessert. James was good at breakfast and lunch foods where Q’s chemistry, he called cooking chemistry, meant that he usually made more elaborate dinner meals and delicate, delicious desserts. They only knew this because James made breakfast a few times and Q once got off of work early enough to make dinner and dessert.

James left and Q turned to the bending over to put his forehead on the cool counter, squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as he could to avoid light. He just wanted it all to stop, everything hurt… He took a few deep breaths and prayed and waited. He was small and the medicine was powerful, it usually only took a few moments. “Oh, thank God.” Q sighed in relief when he felt the medicine start to kick in, slowly numbing the pain. He would need to control himself better next time, James wouldn’t be too happy if he found out he was laying that close to him and needing medicine for it, stolen medicine on top of it.

Q had been dealing with headaches his whole life, and having James that close to him was worth it.

Q knew Bond would never agree if he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love to all of you readers.


	7. I Feel the Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a chapter, wherein Eve is a genius and Q loses something, well, Bond steals it, but who's keeping score?

“Hello, Dan, would you be free next week, Thursday?” James asked.

_“Of course, rip one of my masterpieces, James?”_

“No,” James chuckled. “It’s for someone else, special occasion.”

_“Any friend of yours is welcome. We’ve been friends for so long, what color are you thinking?”_

“Oh, you can decide that when you see him, I trust you, but I honestly see black, or a nice grey…”

_“Why are you sending a friend to me I wonder?”_

“He’s not just a friend, Dan.”

“ _Ooh! Lovely! Finally someone for you. I will love to shake the hand of the man who’s capture your heart, wonderful!”_

“Yes, but please don’t, just do me a favor and don’t touch him without making sure he knows first. He’s a bit jumpy.”

_“Of course, my friend, of course. I wouldn’t want to scare him off.”_

“I mean it, no hugs, no pats on the shoulder, nothing without warning, especially on bare skin.”

_“The poor man. I promise nothing familiar, though I cannot promise the same for you, it’s been too long.”_

“It’s been a month.”

_“Yes, well you’re my friend, a month is a long time.”_

“Too true. I’ll see you Thursday.”

“ _Of course… Goodbye, James.”_

“Goodbye, Dan.” James chuckled as he hung up.

“Who was that?” Eve asked with a smile.

“A friend of mine.”

“What are you plotting?” Eve asked, sitting down in the chair across from him, his desk in-between them. “I know that face, that’s the plotting face.”

“Q’s birthday is coming up.”

“Oh, lovely. What are you doing for him?” Eve wondered.

“Taking him out to dinner, making sure he has plenty of sweets, and having his favorite book rebound.”

“That’s why he’s going mad! He’s been looking everywhere for that damn book!”

“He’ll find it, eventually. I’ll make sure it turns up somewhere special. Neither of us have really celebrated birthdays so, we both agreed not to make huge deals of it.”

“But?”

“But I’m getting him a suit.”

“Of course you are.” Eve laughed.

“Have you seen his arse? I’m telling you, that needs a suit, something that with fit him perfectly, that will hug him.”

“Mm, he would be sexy.”

“Miss Moneypenny, he’s mine.” James glared, sounding a bit possessive.

“Prude, more than two can tango.” Eve teased, batting her eyes. “Speaking of, have you two…you know?”

“What?”

“Have you slept with him yet?”

“I think you know the answer to that.” James commented.

“Yes, well, you _can_ practically chew on the sexual tension that clouds the air around you two. Why not? I mean, obviously there’s something there.” Eve stated.

“It’s personal…”

“Yeah, I thought so…” Eve sighed and looked down at the floor. “But he trusts you so much, even when he’s blind. I saw you kip with him on the couch, he slept without his glasses; that’s trust. I guess you just aren’t quite to the ‘destroy’ trust yet are you?”

“I’m not sure what you mean…?” James half asked.

“Oh, something a friend told me: Love is when you know someone has the power to destroy you and you trust them not to.” James froze his eyes widening.

Q couldn’t get close because James didn’t trust Q with his mind. James trusted Q with everything, why not his mind? He’d let that man lead him through a warzone if both of them were blinded and deaf. He’d do anything Q told him to, but he couldn’t let Q see his mind? It wasn’t a trust issue…not at all, James realized. James was afraid, not of Q, but of what Q would find. Q shouldn’t have to worry about trying to hold James out of his head when they touched. James shouldn’t be scared that Q would run off…Q wouldn’t do that. James had to trust Q, just with one more, tiny thing. Q had said that listening to people didn’t hurt as much as trying to hold them back, unless they were thinking loudly.

“James?” Eve asked after a minute.

“Eve, Eve fucking Moneypenny…” James stood up and walked around his desk before pulling her to her feet and pressing a kiss against each of her cheeks. “You are absolutely brilliant.”

“I am?”

“Oh, yes. Definitely. You’ve been promoted past Alec.” James grinned.

“Then I _am_ good.”

800Q8

“Where are we going James?”

“Picking something up for tomorrow.” James answered.

“What about picking something else makes you tell M that I’m busy through the weekend except for emergencies? That’s four days off to pick something up. What are you plotting?”

“Nothing.” James answered.

“I feel like you are as innocent as you’d like me to believe.”

“I never am.” James chuckled, parking the car. “Don’t ask questions, just come with me, and yes I’m ordering you around for once.” James stated.

“Should I be afraid?”

“Terrified.” James smirked before he got out of the car. Q sighed heavily before he got out after James. James held out his hand and Q took it with a blush, he still wasn’t quite used to James being so open about everything. He was more the open one, not James. He walked with James into a building and instantly looked at him with narrowed eyes. “It’s necessary.”

“How is this in any way necessary?” Q wondered.

“I’m taking you out somewhere nice and besides, I want you to have something that you feel and look amazing in.”

“I feel great in my cardigans.”

“You’ve never worn a real suit, sweetheart.”

“James!” A voice called out. An older man with slightly flamboyant tastes, a very colorful scarf with a snappy suit and exuberant, stepped forward pulling James into a tight hug, pressing a kiss to both of James’ cheeks. “It’s been too long, dear.” He smiled warmly, pulling back. “Let me look at you.” He said, his eyes wandered up and down James’ form. “Still a perfect fit, well, almost perfect, you’ve been working out haven’t you?”

“Well, I try…” James smiled and shrugged.

“Is this him?”

“Yes, indeed.”

“Ooh, boy, didn’t you just get the biggest catch the world could give. He’s a cutie. Unfortunately hidden under all of… _that_ , but still sexy.” He grinned. “Reminds me of my Jason when he was younger. What’s your name, gorgeous?”

“Quinton, sir.” Q answered, holding out his hand.

“Oh, don’t call me sir, I’m Dan.” He said, glancing at James before shaking Q’s hand.

“Hello, Dan.” Q smiled as the two of them let go.

“Well, aren’t you handsome? He was right about suggesting grey or black, both would make you look ravishing… I’m tempted to do both. Half price on the second one, my friend, because he deserves something as pretty as him.”

“I’m open to anything.” James grinned. “And no matter what he says he’s open to it too.” James winked.

“Of course, darling.” Dan winked back before he pointed towards an area with mirrors. “James, you go and look around, I’ll start getting acquainted with my new friend.” Dan grinned. “Shall we?” He asked holding out his arm to Q. Q bit his lip and gently took the man’s arm.

“Call if you need me.” James nodded seriously, making sure Q knew what he was talking about.

“I like, Dan, he seems quiet and nice.” Q stated. Dan’s mind wasn’t too loud, unexpected touches would still be a problem, but he could manage it as long as he watched Dan carefully.

“I’m hardly quiet, dear.” Dan chuckled before the two of them walked towards the mirrored area. “Alright, let me get a closer look at you.” He said walking around Q. “But, lord you are a cutie.” He stopped and stood in front of Q, lifting his hands close to Q’s face. “Do you mind?”

“No, it’s fine,” Q smiled. Dan smiled and cupped Q’s face turning it slowly from side to side. Q couldn’t help but feel his shoulders tense and his left hand create a fist. He slowly let out a breath and tried to relax.

“Oh, I know just what color your shirt should be. You’d look sexy in red or purple, plum, something darker. Dark purples would definitely bring out those eyes.” Dan grinned. “Do you mind if I take your measurements, darling?”

“No, it’s fine.” Q grinned, relaxing a bit more around the man.

“Well take off that cardigan for me, dear, better measurements that way.”

“Alright…”

800Q8

“Alright, let me look at you.” Dan said, looking at Q as he stood in the dressing room. There wasn’t a single mirror around him and all he could tell was that the suit felt like it was a second skin, or that perhaps it was his own skin and he was naked, not quite the most comfortable feeling for him, especially when he was so comfortable in less fitting clothes. “Nope, one more thing. Arms up.” He said before working on Q’s left arm quickly. “And back down… Whoo…look at you. He smiled warmly before he nodded to last button of Q’s dark purple shirt. “Button up, sweetheart.” He smiled before he turned and grabbed a slim black tie, tying it neatly and quickly around Q’s neck before taking a step back and smiling. “And I thought James was my favorite. You are definitely a keeper, sweetheart. The purple really brought out your eyes. Go on, step around that corner for me.” Q bit his lip and slowly stepped out, worried about what he might see when he went all the way around the corner and looked into the mirrors.

His eyes never made it to the mirrors.

“Fuck me.” James whispered with wide eyes.

“Not in the store fellas, boss lady wouldn’t like it.” Dan winked.

“You look absolutely gorgeous. Maybe this was a bad idea, I’ll have to kill everyone who sees you so they don’t try to steal you from me.” James walked forward slowly, running his hands slowly down Q’s chest. “You are absolutely stunning. Breathtaking.”

“I hardly think that—” James gently turned Q’s head with his hand, just enough so that Q could catch himself in a mirror.

“Oh…” Q’s eyes widened. He’d never seen himself look that good before. For the first time, he felt like he _looked_ worthy of standing next to James Bond.

“Yeah… I can’t ever let you out of my sight.” James smiled gently as Q turned to look at himself with wide eyes. James put his hands on Q’s hips and held him close, back to chest. “So beautiful. The only problem with this suit is now everyone gets a chance to see what I see.”

“Suits, he’s getting two, he’s just too brilliant to only have one.” Dan corrected.

“The suit is perfect, Dan…thank you so much.” James grinned.

“Yes, thank you. You did a number on me.”

“I do nothing, I just flaunt what you have. Takes a beautiful person to wear a suit like that.”

“I’m a lucky bastard.” James sighed. Q turned around and pressed a warm kiss against James’ lips.

“Thank you, but it doesn’t distract me from knowing that you’ve been plotting.”

“You’re birthday is tomorrow, you’ll be needing that suit where we’re going.”

“Are you trying to spoil me?”

“Possibly.”

“Lovely.” Q chuckled, kissing James again.

800Q8

Uncharacteristically, Q got out of bed first the next morning, stretching like a cat and waking James as he moved. “Sorry. Go back to sleep, I’m just going to get tea.”

“Mkay.” James sighed, feeling Q’s lips press against his temple lightly. Q got up and walked to the kitchen, freezing when he saw what was on the counter. He reached out with wide eyes and cradled it tenderly in his hands. The complete works of Poe, rebound, no longer falling apart in his hands.

“James!” Q shouted before he made a mad dash to the bedroom, hopping onto the bed and straddling James’ lap, cupping his face in his hands and kissing him. “Thank you.”

“Mm, any time. Happy birthday, Gabe.” James smiled.

“Thank you.” Q smiled and kissed him again gently.

800Q8

Dinner went without a hitch and James often caught people, men and woman, taking glances at Q, but he managed to keep ahold of Q through the entire dinner, without someone trying to steal him. James made damn sure to hold onto Q’s hand the whole drive back to their flat, stroking the back of Q’s palm with his thumb in soothing circles.

“Definitely a birthday for the record books.” Q smiled, leaning back against his chair with closed eyes and a contented smile.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I have one more thing for you.”

“What is that?”

“It’s a surprise.” James smiled.

“Any way I can convince you to spoil the surprise?”

“Not on your life.” James grinned. As they pulled up to their flat. Q sighed heavily before they both got out of the car. They both headed to the door and the two suited men made their way up to their flat. Q went to their room and James watched, amused from the doorway as Q pulled off his tie and very gently, as if the thing would catch on fire, took off his jacket and hung it up neatly. “The suit is not going to be easily offended, Q.” James teased as Q took off his shoes. One things James had learned was that, unless necessary, shoes irritated Q.

“Hush you, I’m not used to having nice clothes, how am I supposed to know…well anything?” Q asked, slipping his shoes under his side of the bed. James smiled, gently pulling off his own shoes.

“I’m going to have to spoil you.” James sighed, knowing that Q would be too practical to buy anything that didn’t have a practical use that was worth the expense of that particular object…James would have to show him the error of not spoiling himself at least once in a while.

“You were right though, it is comfortable.” Q grinned before he walked forward and pressed a warm, chaste kiss against James’ lips. “Thank you.” Q sighed, wrapping his arms around James.

“You’re welcome, Gabriel. Happy birthday.” James kissed Q’s neck gently, holding on tightly.

“Would you like some tea?” Q asked after a moment.

“No thank you.” James smiled. Q walked out of the room and into the kitchen and James moved to the living room, sitting down on the couch. A few minutes later Q reappeared, setting his tea down on the table next to the couch before he sat next to James, curling against his side. James smiled and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Q snuggled closer and James chuckled. “Comfy?”

“Mm-hm.” Q smiled. “Thank you for everything.” Q said again. He hadn’t had such a pleasant birthday since his mother and father had died.

“Not a problem.” James smiled, kissing the top of Q’s head gently. They sat in silence for a few minutes, just happy to be cuddled together. “Gabriel?”

“Hmm?”

“You don’t have to hold back around me anymore. It’s alright.” Q slowly sat up and looked at James as though he’d suddenly grown two heads.

“What?” Q asked, confused.

“I trust you. I’m sorry it took so long, but I do trust you. I trust you with everything, even my mind.” James promised. Q slowly moved, managing to straddle James’ legs and look him, seriously, in the eyes. Jade against the ocean.

“Are you sure?” Q asked gently, cupping James’ face in his hands so that he made sure James didn’t look away.

“I’m positive.” James promised. “I trust you and I’ve been hurting you because I haven’t trusted you. You don’t have to hold back anymore, it’s alright.”

“If I do this—”

“When.” James corrected.

“If, I do this…you have to promise me you’ll tell me to stop if it’s too much. You have to promise you’ll tell me to stop if it hurts or anything, I don’t know what could happen, I mean it’s obviously different for everyone and the only person who’s ever knowingly dealt with it said that it got uncomfortable after a while… So don’t be a typical double-o and keep going when it’s a stupid idea, just…say something okay?”

“Okay.” James nodded.

“Promise me.”

“I promise.” James smiled gently. Q leaned forward and kissed him gently, a soft gentle thank you for the trust that was being handed over. No agent trusted anyone easily, especially not with this much. Q slowly pulled away and smiled at James gently, stroking his cheekbones with his thumbs sweetly. James felt it then, warm fingers gently carding through him. It was strange and sort of relaxing, feeling the warmth in his head.

Q’s eyes never left his, watching for any sort of stress, and James found himself staring back, thinking about how beautiful they were and—

“Thank you.” Q smiled, pressing a kiss to James’ lips before sliding his hands down his neck to James’ shoulders, leaning back to look at James again.

 _It’s all true._ James thought before opening his mouth.

“Truth depends on who’s telling it.”

_Okay, that’s a bit strange._

“Are you alright? I can stop.”

“I’m fine.” James promised, aloud and silent before he pulled Q forward into a hug. Q smiled gently, relaxing in James’ arms. His thoughts weren’t loud and shout-y, they were calm, quiet, collected. Q knew he could listen for days to the internal monologue and not have to reach for his pills. The thought made him happy, even though he knew he wouldn’t be able to simply drown in James’ thoughts.

“That’s…brilliant.” Q commented.

“What is?”

“I can feel the love you have for me.”

“There’s a lot of it.”

“I know.” Q grinned. “I feel it.”

“You’re beautiful…”

“So you keep thinking.” Q chuckled before looking more seriously at James, fiddling with his tie. “Do you mind?”

“No.” James told him. Q gently untied it with nimble fingers before unbuttoning and untucking James’ shirt, leaning in, his hands exploring James’ chest.

“It’s weird…”

“What is it?”

“I feel…” Q paused and looked at James with wide eyes before he wrapped his arms around James, under his shirt and pressed as much of his skin as he could against James’ torso. Q froze for a moment before pulling back and beaming at James, hearing his concern in his head.

“What is it?”

“I can touch you. I can…and it doesn’t make things worse…” Q said, the slight shine of moisture in his eyes a warm, awed smile on his face. He looked absolutely gorgeous. “Do you often think that particular thought all of the time?”

“Define all the time.” James grinned. Q’s breath shuttered as he ran his fingers over James’ skin.

“God I can… I can actually…” Q sighed in relief. “You have no idea how…this feels. It’s like being normal again, only with a voice in my head. But it doesn’t feel uncomfortable, it doesn’t hurt…it just, you’re so warm. I mean I always knew you were warm, but now I can focus on your warmth and not…God, that’s amazing.” Q smiled before pushing James’ shirt off of his shoulders before leaning forward and simply holding him James’ heart broke at the sight, not knowing what to do. “Hold me, just hold me.” Q whispered. James smiled and ran his fingers through Q’s hair, simply pleased that there was no discomfort for Q. Even the touch in his own head wasn’t discomforting, somehow it felt comforting to have Q’s warmth as a constant companion.

“I love you…” James whispered into Q’s ear. Q smiled and straightened up, pressing a kiss to James’ lips in response. Q tentatively licked at James’ lips and James let him in easily, their tongues meeting in the middle, dancing in a slow, languid, passionate, loving dance. Q gripped the backs of James’ shoulders, holding him close, moaning when James’ hands slowly ran down his back, gripping his arse and pulling them closer together, tilting his head back and letting Q dominate. Heat began to spread through Q’s body at James’ grip.

“J-James?” Q asked with a slight gasp as he pulled away, his face was flushed both with arousal and nervous embarrassment.

“What is it, darling?” James asked as he sucked on the hollow just beneath Q’s ear, making Q squirm.

“Can…can we—?”

“Use your words, sweetheart.” James smirked gently as he kissed lower, nibbling gently just above his collar.

“You know damn well what I’m talking about.”

“Suddenly you can speak. You always seem to be able to speak when I annoy you.” James chuckled against his throat. “I’d still love to hear you say it, my dear…”

“C-can we please go to bed?”

“Mm, definitely.” James murmured against Q’s neck, moving one hand up to the small of Q’s back and standing up, lifting Q with him. Q jumped in shock and wrapped his legs around James’ hips. Part of him wanted to tell James he didn’t have to be carried like a girl, but part of him didn’t want to be the inch away from James that walking would require. James managed to move them into the bedroom, his lips finding Q’s on the way there before laying Q on his back.

“James—” Q started, sounding a little worried, but James shushed him gently, kissing his forehead sweetly.

“I know… I’ve got you. I’m going to take care of you, love.” James promised. Q looked up at James and could hear his thoughts, stream of consciousness, disjointed, but all on the same topic. Q smiled gently and relaxed, knowing James would take care of him. “I expect you to do what you’ve told me to do, the same principle applies. Promise?”

“Promise.” Q nodded in understanding.

“Good, now shut that beautiful mind of yours off for a while, you won’t be needing it.” James teased before pressing a kiss against Q’s lips, untucking his shirt and slowly unbuttoning it as Q gripped the back of his head, holding him down. “Come here, love,” he whispered, managing to sit Q up and pull off his shirt. “Beautiful…” He smiled, exploring Q’s skin with his lips, licking and nibbling at the tender spots he found, grinning triumphantly every time Q squirmed and every time he managed to pull a delightful noise out of him. He lavished Q’s nipples in attention with his mouth and one of his hands as his free hand teased just under the waist of Q’s trousers, rubbing just above a hipbone.

“James please—”

“Shh, Gabriel…I’m going to take my time with you… Let me do that, you have to trust me.”

“I trust you, but you’re killing me.”

“Not yet, that comes a little bit later.” James promised, before he ran his hand over the tent in Q’s trousers. Q’s back arched and he subconsciously lifted his hips against James’ hand seeking friction. “Are you sure, Gabe?” James asked carefully, still in control, still able to stop if Q needed him to.

“Don’t you dare stop, please… I need you.”

“As you wish.” James smiled before undoing Q’s button and getting to the task of ridding both of them of all of their clothing as tenderly and lovingly as he could manage—teasingly also, just because he loved the way Q gasped.

800Q8

Q slowly came back to consciousness, feeling warmth on his skin. A chest was rising and falling under him, a warm, naked body half-underneath him. Their legs were tangled together, strong arms were wrapped around Q’s waist and Q’s hands were curled closed, resting against James’ torso. He blinked and opened his eyes, realizing that James must have pulled off his glasses at some point after… Q blushed at the thought and snuggled closer.

“Good morning, Q. How do you feel?”

“Brilliant. Absolutely amazing. I’ve never felt so good, I didn’t know you could...”

“Lovely to hear, but I was asking about physically.” James teased, tilting his head to kiss the top of Q’s.

“I feel fine.” Q promised, stretching slightly. “A little sore, but that’s to be expected.” Q admitted and then hummed pleasantly as James began to trace patterns in his skin.

“I hope it’s not too bad…wouldn’t want you to be in pain.”

“It’s a good sore…” Q promised, sitting up and slowly tracing James’ face and pressing a kiss to James’ lips as soon as he was sure where they were, being mostly blind wasn’t conducive to kissing. “Thank you…”

“Whatever for, Q?” James wondered.

“Well, being wonderful for starters, but…not just that.” Q sighed, running his hands over James’ skin so that he could feel his expressions. “You gave me your mind…I know how difficult that must have been.”

“No, when I thought about it, it wasn’t that hard at all. You gave me something far more precious.”

“I hardly think—”

“Q…shut up, _you_ are worth more than my mind could ever be worth.” James insisted, pulling Q down into a gentle, loving kiss. “Do you want breakfast or—?”

“Can we just…stay here?” Q felt a bit foolish and clingy for asking, but he wanted to stay next to James, he didn’t want to let go of him.

“Of course we can.” James smiled as Q cuddled against him again.

“Do you want me to stop?” Q asked after a moment, not knowing if James wanted him to be in his mind.

“I don’t mind.” James whispered, the warmth in his mind was simply divine.

“I’m not really listening, but I just wanted to make sure it was alright that I was there.”

“It’s fine. How are you not listening?” James wondered.

“It’s like…being in a room with you and Eve, both of you are talking to me, but I focus on what Eve’s saying rather than what you are saying. I know you’re still talking and sometimes I catch things, but I’m really listening to Eve.”

“Glad to know you pick Eve over me.” James teased, poking Q’s ticklish side, making him squirm.

“Eve was a representation of you and you were a representation of your mind.” Q chuckled.

“Sure.” James rolled his eyes. “I just think you like her more than me.”

“Mm, I doubt it, since I’m gay and lying next to you like this. If anything _you’d_ be the one to like Eve.”

“I’m a one man sort of guy.” James promised.

“Glad to hear it.” Q chuckled.

“What does it feel like…touching with a shield up?” James asked after a moment. Q knew where this was going.

“You don’t need to know, it’s fine.”

“No, Q, what were you trying to do? What were you trying to manage without me knowing it?” Q sighed heavily.

“When I shake people’s hands, brush hands, it doesn’t hurt that bad, I see it coming and I reinforce and it dulls it. But, it’s like…people have knives on their skin, small areas of skin they can be held off…larger ones linger…and they hurt a lot if done in excess… Bad migraines…”

“You could have told me.”

“I didn’t… I didn’t want to invade your privacy, it’s yours, I can deal with everything else.”

“Q…you don’t have to endure anything for me, alright?” James asked, rubbing Q’s back, gently.

“I’m not going to linger in your mind James, not if I don’t have to.”

“When we’re like this, don’t you dare let yourself suffer. I trust you and I don’t want you to hurt.”

“Okay…” Q smiled, gently kissing James’ shoulder.

“I mean it, only good things for you.” James smiled gently.

“What sort of good things?” Q wondered teasingly.

“Mm, whatever you want you can have.”

“Can I have you?” Q smiled.

“Any way you want me.” James promised with a smile.

“That is a very tempting offer.”

“I would feel insulted if you didn’t except.”

“Wouldn’t want to displease a double-o.” Q smiled as James rolled him over, resting above him.

“We wouldn’t want that at all.”

800Q8

“Good morning, Eve.” Q smiled.

“Good morning, Q—” Eve paused when she looked up. “You’re looking well.”

“Thank you, you look nice as well. Anything for me today?”

“Yes, but you have something for me first.” Eve smirked.

“Oh, yes,” Q reached into his messenger bag and put down a file. “M wanted that.”

“That’s not what I was talking about, Q.”

“Am I missing something? I’m sure I can get it done quickly enough—”

“Spill.”

“Spill what?” Q asked.

“You had a four day weekend and a birthday, do tell.”

“Oh, it was lovely.” Q grinned.

“That much is clear, you haven’t stopped smiling. So how was it?”

“I just told you—”

“No, how was your first time. I feel so attached, like my baby boy has finally grown up.” Eve grinned. Q blushed and bit his lip before smiling at her.

“Between us?”

“Cross my heart.” Eve promised.

“Fucking fantastic and sweet and loving and… I could feel love… It was, impossible to describe, simply perfect.”

“I’m so happy for you, Q.”

“I’m happy too.” Q grinned.

“I’m so glad, dear. Now, any juicy details to give me?” Eve’s eyes twinkled.

“Hell no, he’s mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you wanted more, I can't manage writing explicit things. If anyone wants to go that extra mile, go for it, but I personally don't write those things. Can never manage it.  
> Much love to you all.


	8. Watch It Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about this chapter, it's a long one, goes from happy to ah(!) quickly. Warning for rape (not explicit, but it is there) and violence, but you're reading about James Bond, assume violence will be there.  
> Italics are thoughts. Bold words are the things Q is suggesting people should think/do.

James walked into his office with the unfortunate need to do paperwork that he’d gotten behind on. He sat down at his desk and looked at the long, velvet, box on his desk curiously. It was sealed neatly by a red bow that said two words.

_Part one._

James smiled at the handwriting and slowly pulled the bow off of the box, opening the lid. His heart leapt up into his throat and filled with a pleasant, warm sensation. “Oh, Q, this is why you’re my favorite.” James smiled, lifting the pen into his hand, finding it matched his grip perfectly. Q had hand made the pen. It was silver, elegant, and old fashioned, with a swirling—almost clocklike—design carved into it, just above the grip. “Beautiful.” James smiled before he caught sight of a note in the box. He looked at it and read it carefully.

_It explodes. I would go into detail as to exactly how the intricate cogs work, but that would take up too much time. On one of the designs that bare your initials, if you lift and spin the dial in the center of it three times to the right the pen will explode in exactly sixty seconds. It’s reusable, if you ever manage to run out of ink before it explodes._

_Happy birthday, my love._

_PS More to follow. Think on that. And please do finish your work, M’s getting on me now for it, it’s like he thinks I’ve tamed you or some such silly thing. And do ignore the memo’s, Q-Branch hardly does anything official with them and it’s tedious, though funny in moderation._

“What in the hell is he babbling about?” James chuckled fondly before he got up, tenderly placing the pen down before he headed to Q-Branch. He stepped inside and instantly looked at the board behind one of the minion’s desks, he had a habit of posting all of the memos on it. James couldn’t help but chuckle.

_Subject: Annual Betting Pool_

_From: Eve Moneypenny_

_A list of every bet sent to me as follows:_

_Q will propose by Christmas: 30-1_

_Someone will catch the two of them at it in the office before Christmas: 5-1_

_007 will propose by Christmas: 52-1_

_Q will beat the hell out of 008: 3-1_

_Eve will start dating 006 before the end of November: 4-1_

_Mallory will argue with Q over the budget (Q will blame the double-os, especially 007): 2-1_

_Q and 007 will actually (both) take Christmas off: 127398036-1_

_Q tops: 10-1_

_007 tops: 3-1_

_M will require a stupid holiday party that all of Q-Branch will skip: Inevitable_

_…the paperwork for missing it afterwards: Also inevitable_

_Eve asks 006 first: 2-1_

_006 won’t know what hit him: 2-1_

_…_

The list continued for several pages.

“What is this?” James chuckled. Part of him wondered why in the hell Q-Branch was so interested in the sex lives of the people around them, mainly Q’s.

“Betting pool, annual deal, everyone sends in something to bet on, you place your bets and see who wins. Last year Q won two hundred pounds with only five pounds on it because he had so many people betting against him, but he’s damn good at predicting things. I don’t think that he’s allowed to bet this year though, what with the subjects that were hit upon this year.”

“Lovely.” James chuckled. “And why are you so interested in Q?”

“He’s the king down here, we don’t get many other ways to poke fun at him, this way he has to answer questions for once.”

“You’re cruel, but it is fun to watch him blush.” James smiled before he walked away heading for Q’s office to find it empty, he turned around and saw Q standing in front of his other desk, staring at the wall with several screens on it.

“When I said left, I meant left. Now you’ve gotten yourself in the nasty part of the s… Yes, that is puzzling, but I’m sure you’ve got it handled 008… Yes, I’m quite sure you don’t need me anymore, good luck getting out that way and be careful where you step, goodbye.” Q pressed a button and put his headset down, rolling his eyes and leaning against the desk, hunched over slightly. James walked up behind him just in time to hear him muttering: “swear to God I’ll strangle him if he keeps acting like my advice is bloody useless. I hope he likes sewage the bastard.”

“Rough day, Q?” James asked, his only warning before he wrapped his arms around Q’s waist, pulling his back to his front with a gentle, sure pressure. Q leaned back against him, tilting his head to the side and grabbing James’ hands that rested over his stomach. James gently kissed the side of Q’s neck.

“I’m going to kill 008. He treats me like dirt and I’m bloody tired of it. Perhaps I’ll set his gun to explode.”

“I could kill him for you…” James promised.

“No, I would derive much more pleasure from wringing his neck myself, thank you ever so much, though.”

“What has he been doing?”

“Oh he just thinks I’m not good enough for the job so he refuses to take any of my advice or he simply berates me the entire time I try to help him. I’ve already sent a warning to M that if he turns up dead it’s probably my fault.”

“You did that all wrong, you can’t admit to murder before you’ve done it.”

“M backed me, I think I’m alright.” Q sighed. “Weren’t you supposed to be doing paperwork? Why are you letting me distract you with my boring issues?”

“I got your present.”

“And?”

“I loved it. I had to come and tell you that personally.”

“I’m glad you liked it.”

“Mmm.”

“Part two will be at home,” Q promised.

“There’s a part two?”

“And a part three, but that’s after dessert, or it might be dessert if you want it to be.” Q flirted with a gentle kiss to James’ neck.

“I can’t wait.”

“Ah-hem.” Someone interrupted them. The two of them turned to see M and Tanner looking at them. Tanner had raised eyebrows, M looked a little bit amused. “Mind carrying that on in private, I don’t think the Minions need a show.” Tanner commented.

“But we’re on break.” James teased.

“007, get back to work or—” Tanner started.

“That’s no fun, see you tonight, Q.” James winked, kissing his cheek before striding away cool and confident as ever. Q cleared his throat and tried to squirm into a confident stance. He could never look as calm as James.

“Yes, sirs?”

“We were wondering about a complaint we just received from 008.” M commented.

“Tell him to bugger off, I have better things to do than talk to that insolent shit—”

“Tell us how you really feel, Q.” M chuckled.

“That would be impractical, sir. It would take too long to say all of the vial synonyms I can think of for 008.”

“You can’t cut communications.”

“I can when he blatantly disregards what I say and then calls me an idiot when he goes through the wrong door and takes a dive into a sewage pipe. His mission was done, I no longer need to help him.”

“Did he fall into the sewer, really?” M asked with a smile.

“Yes, sir, by no fault of my own, I assure you.”

“If it was your fault I’d be proud.”

“To tell you the truth I’ve been telling him the opposite of what I want him to do for most of this mission so that he actually does what I want him to, but in the end I might have pointed towards the proper door knowing he’d go the other way.”

“I’m proud. Sorry, we just had to talk to you. You know: ‘put you in your place for being a bad Quartermaster.’”

“Shall I continue to be sub-par?”

“No, you can continue to be fucking brilliant.”

“Thank you, sir.” Q smiled.

“By the way, you two are adorable.” M grinned before he walked away. Tanner sighed.

“Please keep the displays to a minimum, I wouldn’t want Bond getting any ideas about fornication in public areas.” Q only smirked slightly as Tanner left.

800Q8

“Honey, sorry I’m home late, Alec dragged me into—” James was cut off by a pair of lips pressed against his. “Mm, welcome home me.” James grinned when they parted, pulling Q forward by his waist to kiss him more thoroughly.

“I know all about Alec, remind me to make him something special for his next assignment.” Q grinned before he headed to the kitchen.

“You made him hold me after didn’t you?”

“I asked him for a favor, he was surprisingly eager to help. I just needed a few extra minutes, so I had him distract you just a bit.”

“What are you cooking, it smells divine?”

“You’re favorite, I know it’s been a while, but I thought I’d make it tonight…”

“You are my favorite.” James called out to him.

“I know. Don’t get used to being pampered though, I barely had enough time to get this done today.” Q said, bringing in two plates, two sets of silverware, two glasses, and a tumbler—James was always a bit shocked when he saw exactly how much Q could balance at once, one of the glasses was even full though not a drop went spilt—and setting it down in an orderly fashion front of James gently. “Chef Ramsey might even approve.” Q grinned as he poured the drink into James’ glass. “Shaken, not stirred.” Q promised moving to sit, but James grabbed his wrist and pulled him down into a kiss.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Q smiled warmly. James couldn’t help but smile back, no one had ever thought to do anything like this for him before…but Q did.

He was a lucky son of a bitch to have Q in his life.

800Q8

“I’m not answering that question.” Q commented.

“It was one of the bets, you have to answer it to settle the bet.” Eve commented. “Everything else was settled, I mean you two didn’t even take off Christmas, so come on, my dear, you have to spill the rest.”

“Indeed,” R added.

“I had to answer enough tonight, I’m not answering that. I have a day off tomorrow and I’m going home.” Q insisted, walking towards the door but it was blocked. “Let me through.”

“Q—”

“It’s none of your business.” Q snapped.

“Come on, who is it, you or James?”

“I’m not telling you.”

“Fine, drastic measures.” Eve sighed, picking up her phone.

“What are you doing?”

“Settling the bet.” Eve smiled. “Hello, James, how are you?”

“Don’t you dare!” Q snapped.

“See, we have this thing, where we take bets and whoever the bet is about has to tell the truth after everyone’s taken their bets. We can’t get something out of our dear, Q and I hoped you’d settle it for us… The question is who tops, you or Q.”

“Don’t you dare, Bond!” Q shouted. Eve went silent for a minute and her eyes widened.

“That’s absolutely lovely, can I have that in writing?” Eve asked with a blush and a giggle.

“Eve—don’t—”

“Thank you, love, I’ll settle this.” Eve hung up the phone before winking at Q. “You two are brilliant you know that?”

“Who won?” R asked.

“Well, Bond gave me a few details that I’ll keep private, but I won this one.” Eve smiled, slipping the money into her pocket with a wink at R.

“Well that’s too predictable…” R huffed. “I’m disappointed, Q.”

“I’m going to kill him.” Q sighed heavily.

“I’m sure.” Eve sighed. “Speaking of Christmas, what did you two get each other, no one told me?”

“He shouldn’t have, but he got me a piano for the flat, it was too much…but I love it.” Q smiled. “He also got me Sixsmith.”

“Sixsmith?” R wondered.

“I call him Sixsmith and James calls him Rufus. Cloud Atlas was the movie we watched before Christmas and he’s got a bit of Sixsmith’s charm to him so that’s what I named him. He’s an adorable little ball of ginger fur. James knows I don’t like going home when he’s off so he wanted to make sure I had company at home when he was gone. He is absolutely adorable.”

“You two are so sweet and I want a picture of Rufus.” Eve sighed happily. “What did you get him? I saw you working in the lab like a mad person before the holiday.”

“That’s strictly off the record, Miss Moneypenny.”

“Going formal on me, must be pretty important.”

“He’s asked me not to tell anyone so I’m not going to, besides it’s none of your business—” Q’s phone rang and he sighed. “So much for going home early.”

“I can take it, Q.” R promised.

“No, I’m still here, I’ve got it.” Q stated as he picked up the phone and heading for his computer. “Q.”

“What are you two going to do for New Years?”

“Shut up, Eve, I’m working.” Q snapped. “Sorry, yes, I’m looking for you now. Ah, there you are, I’ve got you. The door on your right thirty feet ahead, you need to take that one.” Q handled everything as quickly as he could, but he still ended up hanging the phone up at one in the morning before he picked it up again as he put his work things in a locker. He called James’ phone and heard a soft huff in reply. “I’m sorry for waking you up, baby, but I got held up at work, I’m coming home, should be there in about thirty, alright? So, don’t kill me when I sneak in okay, dear?”

_“Wouldn’t kill you, just come home.”_

“On my way, I promise. Go back to sleep.”

“ _Okay… See you soon, sweetie_.” James sighed.

“Love you.” Q said gently, not knowing why. Normally they didn’t say it often. They thought it lessened the power of the words and that it was silly to tell each other that when they so obviously could portray it in how they acted around each other.

“ _Are you alright?”_ James sounded a bit more awake.

“I’m fine… I suppose I’m just tired and need a day off with you and Sixsmith.”

“ _Come home, I’ll be waiting for you.”_

“No need to stay up, get some rest, you need it too. Goodnight.”

“ _Night, Q_.” James answered before they both hung up. Q slipped on his jacket and looked at R.

“If you need anything call my house tomorrow because I am not taking my work home. And when I say anything, I mean that England better be ready to implode, because I don’t want to do anything tomorrow but spend a day with James and Sixsmith, got it?”

“If the world isn’t collapsing, I won’t call, got it.” R smiled. “Have a good day off.”

“I will.” Q grinned, glad to not be taking home any work for once.

800Q8

The closest he could get to his flat at one in the morning was ten blocks on the tube, but Q didn’t care. It was a little bit too cold for his liking, but he’d been cooped up Q-Branch for nearly a week, the fresh air—well as fresh as London air got—was brilliant. Q looked up at the sky and saw nothing but black, a few dim specks of light. He loved the stars, but he could never see them. Even on the clearest of nights his eyes wouldn’t allow him to see much more than the largest of them. He sighed and looked back down, four blocks from home, warmth, James, and a fuzz ball that loved to play and would attack anything that moved under bed sheets if the two of them left the bedroom door open.

Suddenly Q felt goosebumps erupt over his skin. Something wasn’t right. He slowly looked around, the street was mostly empty. Five men were behind him walking a bit too surely to be natural. Q slowly lowered his guard, just enough to let them in. He listened to their thoughts for a moment and cursed to himself. He _would_ be the target of a mugging on his day off. It was five on one and even though two of them were slightly intoxicated. If more than two of them grabbed him Q knew he wouldn’t be able to fight them off.

Reaching out for _his_ mind had become second nature. Finding his thoughts in the white noise was simple.

**_James, wake up, something’s wrong_** _._ Q gently suggested in James’ mind, hoping it would be enough to wake him, to get him looking.

“Going somewhere in a hurry?” A man asked from an alleyway. Six to one, the odds weren’t looking so great. Q took a deep breath as he was surrounded.

“Listen, gentleman, I really don’t have anything you’d want.” Q stated as he looked around at them. Hopefully he could talk them down, he couldn’t control more than one person at a time, a downfall that he could never quite manage. “I don’t have any money.”

“A posh boy like you must have something.” The tallest of them stated as they slowly herded him into the alley.

“No, really, I don’t.” Q said, pulling his wallet out and opening it. It had a fake ID in it and hardly enough to buy a decent drink. “Nothing whatsoever, just a phone and a headache after a long night of work.” A man reached forward and instinct kicked in. **_Don’t touch him. It’s not a good idea_** _._ Q suggested, the man lowered his hand.

“He’s right, he doesn’t have anything we want.” Q almost smiled when the man so easily took the little hint he put into his head.

“The hell he doesn’t.” Three sets of hands grabbed him and shoved him against the brick wall in the alleyway. Instantly Q was assaulted with far too many minds to know how to push them out. It was like someone had run up and stabbed him a thousand times and not bothered to stop, stab, twist, stab, twist, stab… Too many images, too many thoughts, too many histories poured into his mind at once, his head began to scream in agony as he tried to pull away out of instinct.

**_Leave him alone. Don’t touch him. This isn’t a good idea._** Q tried to drive the thoughts into their heads, but he couldn’t. The man in front of him grabbed him by his throat and pressed his head back. Images of past victims began to swirl in Q’s head.

_No, not that…_ Q thought to himself, he knew he couldn’t take it. He tried to reach out again, praying that James could feel him. He’d never tried to simply make people hear his own mind, but for once he desperately needed someone to hear. He needed James to hear him. _Please James, help me._ Q pleaded, trying to fight them off, but unable to. His head was pounding so hard he couldn’t see with his glasses on.

Q felt them shove him to the ground, pinning him down and he felt his nose begin to bleed. He tried to push them off, but he was growing too weak. Had it been one man, he knew he could have fought him off, but there were too many of them, too many minds stabbing into his, he felt like he was adrift in an ocean, waiting to be drowned as a hand ripped down his trousers.

_Please, James…_ Q pleaded, hoping to God that James could hear him. At the disgusting touch of the man above him, it all became too much. Q had never been so happy about passing out before.

800Q8

James gasped and sat up. Something wasn’t right. He felt like something was wrong, and yet, something felt off about the feeling, artificial, like it wasn’t his own senses that had picked up on the wrong thing. He glanced at the alarm clock and then at the empty side of the bed. Where was Q? James knew he should have been home. “Q?” James called out. He got up and walked into the front room, seeing nothing but Rufus curled up on the sofa. He quickly pulled on his gun and his jacket, barely managing to slip his feet into the right shoes as he stepped out of the flat, heading quickly out of the building, sliding the loaded gun into his pocket.

He stepped out into the cold and looked around for a minute before heading down the street, towards the only tube station he knew would come close to the flat at that time in the morning. He froze ten steps in, feeling like someone was tugging on his hair, not uncomfortably, but tugging nonetheless.

_Please James, help me._ The whisper was unmistakably in Q’s voice, gentle, almost silently, but there. It was almost as though Q had his lips pressed against his ear, whispering as softly as he could manage.

“Q…” James quickly began to walk down the street, putting a silencer on his gun as he continued down the street, a little faster, checking down every side-street and alley as he moved.

_Please, James…_ James moved even faster, bumping into someone along the way, not bothering to stop them from toppling over or caring when they shouted after him. The tug suddenly disappeared and James faltered just for a moment before he continued, faster.

“Come on, Q, where are you?” James asked worriedly as he rushed down the street. He froze against a wall when he heard a voice coming from an alleyway.

“God this is good, I may not share him.” Anger flared in James and he turned around the corner quickly, shooting three of the men. The man thrusting into Q pulled out in surprise when blood covered his back and looked at James.

“Get the fuck away from him.” James hissed, his eyes blazing. “Now, all three of you.”

“What? You sorry you didn’t get a piece of his arse? I would be too, felt like a vir—AH!” The man dropped with a scream of agony, a bullet had passed through his kneecap. The two holding Q down jumped back, letting go of him. James shot them both in their middles, knowing they’d bleed out for a long time, pinned, unable to move, choking on their own blood. James strode forward and shoved the last man against the wall, making him scream as his leg dragged against the cold ground.

“I could spend years of my life dedicated to making you scream in the worst ways and I would get the most pleasure out of every instant of it.”

“You can’t kill five people and get away with it. What all for the kid?”

“I can do whatever the hell I want.” James said, pulling a knife from his coat and pressing it against the man’s stomach. “You won’t be doing much of anything ever again.” He moved his knife lower, covering the man’s mouth, and made one swift cut. The man’s scream was muffled against James’ hand and his whole body shook. “I would torture you if it weren’t for that man over there, because right now he needs me more than I need to hear you scream, but I will take great pleasure knowing just how you bled out. If you make another noise, your bollocks will go next.” James promised before he got up and moved quickly to Q’s side.

Q was bleeding slightly from his arse, his hips, the curve of his arse, and his wrists were bruised, hand shaped bruises. James gently pulled up his pants and trousers, careful not to touch Q’s skin as he did so before he slowly turned Q over. His glasses were broken and his nose was pouring blood, his face had road rash on it, bleeding languidly. “I’m so sorry, my love… I should have ran faster… I’m sorry.” James whispered, gently cupping Q’s face, a momentary lapse of judgment. Q didn’t pull away, he leaned into James’ hand. James felt a slight tug again.

_James?_ It didn’t quite sound like Q, it sounded like a very tired Q, worn down, broken, half-asleep. But it was Q.

“I’m here, you’ll be alright, I’ve got you… You rest alright? I’ll take you somewhere safe, I promise.” He folded up Q’s glasses and slid them into his pocket.

_Kill that bastard._

“With pleasure.” James nodded, lifting his gun and putting a bullet into the the man’s brain. “I’m going to pick you up… I’ve got you.” James whispered, gently picking up Q and heading out into the street, heading towards a main road in search of a cab. Q stirred in his arms, slowly waking, with a groan and a wince.

“James? I can’t…I can’t see you.” Q stated. “It’s you though…isn’t it?”

“You’re safe. Hush now, I’ve got you.” James promised.

“Where are you taking me?”

“MI6, sweetheart, to medical.”

“No, I want to go home.”

“Q, that’s not—”

“Please? Please, James, just take me home. Tomorrow we can go, but I want to go home now. I don’t want anyone else touching me.” His voice had an edge of desperation to it. “Please, let’s go home.”

“We’ll have to go first thing in the morning…” James conceded after a minute. He couldn’t stand the thought of hurting Q any more, he couldn’t ignore the pleading tone to his voice.

“Thank you, James… Thank you.” Q breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn’t have handled any other hands on him. All he wanted was to be clean and to hold James close.

800Q8

“Here, honey, stay right there.” James whispered gently as he helped to lay Q on his side on the couch. Q grabbed him tightly, making it impossible for him to leave.

“Where are you going?”

“Getting something to help clean—”

“Help me to the bath?” Q asked gently.

“Q—”

“Please, I’m covered in more than just my own blood and I’d really, really prefer a real bath right now.” Q said, his voice shaking slightly.

“Alright, I’m going to pick you up again, okay?” He warned before he gently pulled Q back up into his arms and to the bathroom. He stood Q on his feet and put Q’s hands on his shoulders, making sure Q knew he could cling onto him for support. He slowly plugged the tub and turned on the water, making sure it wasn’t too hot before he turned to Q. “Are you going to be alri—?”

“Don’t leave…please, just stay here, with me.”

“Okay, I can do that.” James promised. Q started to move and then winced and stopped.

“I don’t think I can get these shoes off.” James knelt down and Q grabbed the counter to steady himself as James slowly undid his shoes, tenderly taking them and his socks off. He helped Q slowly slip out of his bloodied cardigan and suit before he paused at the buttons of his shirt. “It’s alright, I trust you, and I bloody well can’t do it myself.” James slowly undid his shirt and his trousers, slowly removing them both. “Pants too.” Q commented, wincing slightly when they came off, but not at who had taken them off. James helped Q gently into the tub and started to turn for the door. “Stay.”

“Okay…” James nodded, sitting next to Q, on the floor. Q grabbed his hand and sighed, closing his eyes. The water had a slight pink tinge to it, from the blood that had been caked on Q’s chest from his bloody nose and the blood from the tear inside of him. James gently shut off the water before he crouched next to Q, gently washing his hair with the water, cupping it and washing the blood out of his curls as tenderly as he could. Q winced when water ran down the rash on his cheek. “I’ll clean that, for you, okay?”

“Okay.” Q nodded. James looked down at the darker water with wide eyes before he grabbed a first aid kit from beneath the sink and sat down on the edge of the tub, facing Q. James felt, Q’s wet left hand stroke over his cheek gently. He let Q touch his face, knowing that it was his way of seeing his expression. Q smiled gently when he felt the expression of protectiveness and caution. He couldn’t feel pity and that was nice to know. James gingerly cleaned out the bleeding patch of his face, pulling out bits of pebbles that had been embedded into his face.

“Okay, all cleaned up.” He said as he cleaned Q’s face and hair the rest of the way. He gently dried off his face before putting a bandage over the wound. Q’s right hand moved to grab a cloth and he slowly began to try to get rid of the blood that was caked on his chest. “Here, baby, I’ve got it. You relax.” James whispered before he gently began to scrub away the blood.

The water was the color of rust.

“Better?” James asked gently. Q nodded, eyes still closed when he reached out to put both hands on James’ shoulders. James gingerly helped him stand up.

“Can you…?”

“I’ve got you, my love.” James promised, unplugging the drain and rinsing out the bloody cloth before he gently began to clean Q’s backside. He winced once and James gently rubbed his back. “It’s okay, you’re safe. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know.” Q nodded. James gently finished cleaning him before he threw the cloth down and grabbed a large towel and wrapped it around Q’s body gently, slowly, tenderly drying Q’s skin.

“There you go…” James whispered. “Here, let me help you out.” He helped Q out of the tub.

“I want those clothes burned.”

“I’ll make sure it happens.”

“Good.” Q sighed, leaning against James’ shoulder.

“Let me get you some pajamas, alright? Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

“I have a second pair of glasses, in my side table. Please bring them.”

“Of course, dear.” James nodded before he left. Q gently bent down, wincing as he did so and searched through his coat, pulling out his mobile and opening it. He couldn’t see it, but he knew the buttons by heart.

_“This is R, aren’t you supposed to be sleeping, Q?”_

“There are six dead bodies in an alley six blocks from my flat. I need them cleaned up, no questions asked.” Q said in his calmest tone.

“ _Um, yes, sir… What do I say if M asks—?”_

“I’ll handle M tomorrow, just, make sure it’s cleaned up. I owe you one.”

“ _It’ll be done.”_

“Thank you…goodbye.” Q hung up as James walked in.

“Who was that?”

“R, got the body issue cleaned up. Someone needed to make sure it got cleaned up.”

“Alright, no more worrying, okay?” James asked gently. He slowly placed Q’s glasses on his face before he knelt down, helping Q pull on his pants. Q was shaking. “Q, are you alright?” James asked, looking up, expecting to see tears, but he saw a smile and heard laughter. It was hysterical.

“I just wanted a bloody day off.” The laughing quickly disintegrated into tears. Q pulled himself close to James as he sobbed and James gently rubbed his back in soothing circles. “I hurt physically, but that’s not the real kicker, it’s my fucking mind. Fucking betrayed me again, I couldn’t even fight. I couldn’t…I tried, but it hurt so much.”

“Am I bothering you?”

“Your mind doesn’t bother me anymore. You feel safe.” Q whispered. “I can’t bloody tell anyone else that my head took more of a violation than my body did. God, it felt like they were ripping me apart. My head was falling apart, but you heard me…thank God you heard me.”

“Of course I heard you…”

“I wasn’t sure you would, I’ve never tried to make people hear me before… I just needed you, and your mind…it kept me sane.” Q admitted.

“Want to go rest, sweetheart?” Q nodded against James and he carried Q to their room. James curled around Q and gently held him to his chest.

“Don’t let go of me. You’re keeping me safe. My head isn’t safe right now.”

“I won’t leave you, I’m right here.” James promised, pressing a gentle kiss to Q’s neck. Q jumped when he heard a scratching sound, but then he saw a little ball of fur crawling towards him.

“Hello, my dearest Sixsmith.” Q smiled gently. The kitten mewled sadly before curling up next to Q’s head. He gently stroked the kitten’s fur and listened to him purr. “You’re such a sweet little thing, aren’t you? You’re like James you know, always so playful and feisty, but you hide that soft, sweet side too. It’s rather adorable, both of you are, you know?” Q asked gently, rubbing behind the kitten’s ears with his fingertips. Sixsmith pulled back the slightest bit to like Q’s fingers and rub his cheek against them. “Sweethearts the lot of you.” James gently ran a finger over Q’s stomach. “I’m going to go to bed, Sixsmith, we can play tomorrow, alright, baby?” The kitten purred in response and Q gently wrapped his arms around James’ relaxing into James and closing his eyes. Sixsmith looked at Q for a moment before he stood up cautiously and began to crawl across the bed, curling up protectively next to Q’s chest.

800Q8

James woke up and gently kissed Q’s neck. Q stirred and opened his eyes. “We should go to MI6, wouldn’t want to have anything nasty would I?” Q asked after a moment.

“You’re going to be fine.” James promised with a second, gentle kiss. “Do you want breakfast?”

“Um, can I have one of the pills in the bathroom?” Q asked shyly. “My head, I can still feel them there. The medicine helps to…dull my abilities.”

“I’ll go get you one and maybe some toast?” James offered, wanting to make sure Q ate something.

“Yes, please.”

“Alright, Rufus, keep him in check for me won’t you?” James teased. Rufus opened his bright blue eyes and blinked at James before putting his head back onto his paws.

“I told you, he likes to be called Sixsmith better.” Q stated, gently petting his side. Sixsmith rolled over and pawed playfully at Q’s hand as James got up.

“I’ll be right back, love.” James promised with a gentle kiss before he left the room, leaving the door open. Sixsmith rolled back over and walked close to Q, curling up next to him.

“You are amazing, you know that?” Q asked gently, rubbing behind his ears, listening to the ball of fluff purr contentedly. James reappeared a moment later with water, toast, and a bottle of pills.

“Did they know who you were?” James asked after a moment, helping Q sit up.

“No, they didn’t care. I was just another one on their list. They didn’t know I was Quartermaster.” Q commented, knowing that the question had to be asked. James slowly helped to feed Q, who had trouble chewing with the gash on his face stinging. The worst of the pain was in Q’s eyes. James could watch the pain of it all burn in his eyes. Q was scared. He’d been defeated by his own mind and the prospect left him looking terrified. James gently grabbed Q’s hand and Q looked up, smiling slightly.

James’ mind was warm and safe. Being invited in was like having his mother tuck him into his warm covers at night and send all of the monsters away—even Q had been afraid of the monster under his bed once.

“We’d better go, okay? Need help getting around?” James asked gently when Q had finished his toast and swallowed his medicine. Q almost said that he could manage it, but then he moved and winced.

“I’d appreciate the help...”

800Q8

M cornered them half-way to medical. Q was leaning against James, managing to walk, painfully. “Is there a reason why I had to cover up six dead bodies and a castration?”

“Sir—” Q started.

“Christ, Q.” M said as he finally managed to see Q.

“Yes, we’ll discuss policy later, M, right now we’re going to medical.” James insisted.

“Yes, of course… Are you alright, Q?” M asked gently, reaching out. Q pulled back and M dropped his hand, wanting to slap himself for being an idiot.

“I’ve been better, been worse.” Q commented.

“Well, erm, I’ll talk to you both later and get the story…um, get better, alright?”

“I’ll certainly endeavor to do so.” Q asked before he and James hobbled the rest of the way to medical. They swept Q into a room immediately and James let go of him only briefly to grab the doctor tightly by the arm. The doctor instantly looked up with wide eyes.

“Wear two sets of gloves and if your bare skin fucking touches him I will add another kill to my file and I will take my time with it.”

“Of course, sir.” The doctor nodded before James returned to Q’s side, stroking the back of his hand gently. “I’m going to need you to get yourself undressed and into a gown. I’ll leave you two alone for that.” In spite of the obvious fear in his eyes, he actually managed to keep his voice level before he left the room, closing the door. James gently helped Q out of his clothes and helped him into the scratchy, plastic thing people thought was alright to put on patients.

“Here, let me help you up.” James stated, helping Q onto the exam table. He sat, with a wince and a lingering frown at the feeling of having to sit down. “You alright?”

“Just want to go home,” Q answered.

“Okay, let’s get this done then, and then we can go cuddle on the sofa with Supernatural and chocolates and Rufus crawling all over everything.”

“A marathon of Dean Winchester? That sounds lovely.” The joke fell just a little flat. James smiled though before he opened the door and sat next to Q, holding his hand. The doctor walked in wearing to pairs of gloved on his hands.

“Alright, Q, I’m going to have to ask you some questions.”

“My favorite.” Q sighed, squeezing James’ hand.

“Can you tell me what happened?” He asked with a pen in his hand.

“I was walking home, because the tube doesn’t run all the way to my flat at that time in the morning, usually I get within a block, but at two-ish the closest I can get is ten blocks. Um, I walked down the street and was almost half-way there when I got the suspicion that something wasn’t right. There were six assailants and I tried to talk them down, tried to show them that I didn’t have anything worth taking, but they felt differently. I was taken into the alleyway and I was thrown to the ground and held down…and I don’t remember anything else.”

“Have you repressed it?” He asked, waiting for a response, his pen still on the paper.

“No, I passed out. Next thing I knew I was in James’ arms and they were dead.”

“How did you get there? How would you have known?” The doctor asked James curiously as he put the paper down.

“Panic button.” James shrugged.

“Alright…” The doctor nodded. “Do you mind if I look at your face, Q?”

“Be my guest.” Q sighed. The doctor pulled off the bandage and gently looked over the scabbed over wound.

“Looks alright to me, James cleaned it very well for someone who hates medical.” The doctor tried to lighten the mood a little bit. Q almost smiled. “You’ve got some nasty bruises.” The doctor stated, gently grabbing Q’s arm and looking at his wrist before looking at the other. “Do they hurt?”

“They’re sore, not much more though. The ones on my hips hurt worse.” Q shrugged.

“Are you cut anywhere else?”

“Um, yeah…erm…” Q shifted uncomfortably and winced as he did so.

“We’ll take a look, make sure you’re alright and that you haven’t gotten anything unsavory, okay?” Q looked at James and back at the doctor, about to speak. “He can stay, okay?”

“Thank you.” Q nodded.

“Let’s get you laid back.” James instantly got up and helped Q move gently. “I’m going to have to put your feet up in stirrups, if it makes you feel nervous or uncomfortable—”

“They didn’t pin my legs up, I’m fine.” Q promised, holding onto James’ hands. Q closed his eyes for a minute, trying to control his breathing and holding onto James like his life depended on it.

“Alright, I need you to relax, this may feel a bit uncomfortable.”

Q tried to stay calm, but his body betrayed him. His body tensed and he turned to press his face against James’ hand. His hands were white on James’, gripping him so tightly that James was sure his fingers would break if there were any more pressure. “Shh, honey, you’re safe. I’ve got you.” James promised, freeing one hand and stroking Q’s hair lovingly. “I’m right here, my love. I’m here, I’ve got you. Relax, sweetheart, you’re just going to hurt yourself.” He pressed a kiss to Q’s head and the brunette man whimpered quietly before he relaxed. “You’re alright…you’re okay.” James promised gently.

_Don’t leave me…stay with me._ Q pleaded, not knowing how to make James hear him—having no idea how he’d done it the first time—but needing James to hear him.

_I’m here, I’m not leaving you, Q. I’m here._ James promised.

“Alright, well, it could be much worse. You’re a bit torn up in two places, but the tears are small enough that they won’t be needing stiches. Unfortunately, it’ll hurt to be moving around. I suggest at least two days off of your feet as much as possible and um…nothing sexual for a week. I don’t know if you’d be up for it, but I can’t have you tearing yourself up worse. I’ll run some tests and make sure you’ve got a clean bill of health…”

“Thank you.” Q whispered as the doctor helped him pull his feet down.

“No problem.” The doctor nodded. “Take all the time you need to get around. If you want to go home, we’ll call you when we know…”

“I’m going home.” Q insisted. At home no one could touch him, at home he’d be alone with just his thoughts and the warmth of James’ mind surrounding him.

800Q8

James lay flat on the sofa, on his back, with Q laying against his bare chest, snuggled up and touching as much bare skin as he dared, drowning himself in James’ mind. James’ mind never betrayed anyone, his mind was steady, safe. Q’s was still pulled apart at the violation.

“ _Carry on my wayward son_ …” The TV began to sing and Q opened his eyes.

“This episode is going to be upsetting.” Q commented.

“Do you want me to change it?”

“No, I like this one. You haven’t gotten this far yet either, for shame. It is really good.” Q smiled, content to cuddle with James and watch All Hell Breaks Loose.

“I think I know why you like this show so much.” James commented, gently stroking Q’s hair.

“Why’s that?”

“It’s like MI6. We’re like family and we hunt down ‘sons-ov-bitches’ and one of us even practices resurrection. Plus there’s lots of guns. I like guns.”

“Glad you’re starting to see the merits of this show.” Q chuckled, which made him wince.

“Are you alright?”

“Don’t coddle me, don’t you dare, James. I’m hurt, and sometimes it hurts worse when I move, but that isn’t my problem so don’t fucking coddle me.”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t like seeing you hurt.”

“Now you know how I feel every time you come home.” Q commented.

“I’m sorry…”

“You won’t be more careful, I know you won’t… It is part of you, I’m not going to ask you to change, but it doesn’t make it fun to see you hurt.” Q sighed. “My body’s hurt, but that will heal and relatively quickly…it’s my mind. That’s what worries me. Hate to be blunt but my body was raped and they did a fucking gang-bang on my head. I don’t know what thoughts are theirs or mine, I don’t know how to sort through all the damn memories and darkness that’s been crammed up there, but I can stay here with you and sit in your head, without listening to a damn thing while my mind tries to sort itself out. I’m not safe in there. There’s a lot of darkness they left behind and I don’t want to have to think those things. My body is the least of my worries at the moment and I don’t need you to worry about it either, I’ll worry about it when I don’t feel like a stranger in my own skull.”

“I didn’t know… I just thought you found me…comforting.”

“I do, but you also happen to be keeping me sane at the moment, so that’s a plus.”

“You can listen in if it would help you drown out your mind.”

“It would.” Q smiled gently. The phone rang and he reached over James to pick it up. “Q.”

_“Tests came back.”_

“Please tell me it’s good news.”

_“The best. Just let yourself heal up, you don’t have anything else. You’re clear, no infections or diseases of any kind.”_

“Remarkable considering he raped thirty six—”

_“How would you know that?”_

“Um…research.” Q covered. The doctor didn’t need to know that he knew every victim’s face, their every scream, their struggles, their tears…

“ _You would research. No more work, get some rest. I’m sure that boyfriend of yours would love to dote on you.”_

“He always does. Thank you.”

“ _No problem, Q.”_ Q hung up and put the phone back down.

“So?”

“I’m fine, well, aside from the surface bruising and scrapes… I’ll be fine.”

“Good, my love.” James smiled and kissed his forehead.

“ _Well, what do you remember_?” Dean asked.

“I _-I saw you and Bobby, and…I felt this pain. This sharp pain, like…white-hot, you know, and then you started running at me, and that’s about it.”_

“He shouldn’t have sold his soul. Sometimes people die.” James commented.

“If you pick on my show one more time.” Q threatened teasingly.

“I’m just saying that’s some dangerous dependency right there.”

“Mm, sounds familiar.”

“Well don’t get yourself killed over me, deal?”

“As long as you don’t get yourself killed over me, deal?” Q asked.

“Deal.” James said simply.

“Deal.”

They both knew they were lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there will be fourteen chapters to this as we're about to get into the heavy things. I hope you pick up all of the little hints I've left behind along the way.  
> Much Love.


	9. Old, But I'm Not that Old, Young, But I'm Not that Bold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that this chapter takes place six months after the previous one...and that James will be a bit pissed...and that the mission in 'mission-fic' has truly begun. There are going to be some dom/sub themes to the next few chapters, but I won't be too graphic.

Old, but I’m Not That Old,

Young, but I’m Not That Bold

 

8Six Months Later8

Q stood in a room with Tanner and Eve. “No, go right, not left.” Q insisted.

 _“Honey, I really don’t want to go right_ ,” James protested.

“Why not?”

 _“Because there’s a fire that way_.”

“Better than being shot at, go bloody right or I won’t be happy and you’ll be sleeping with Sixsmith for a week, Bond.”

“ _He’s a sofa hog.”_ James commented, sounding put-out as he moved to the door on his right.

“You’ve kicked Bond to the couch before?” Eve asked with wide eyes. “James, marry this boy before I do. Anyone who can kick _you_ to the sofa is worth marrying.”

“ _I’ll consider it. But he’s bloody impossible to live with.”_ James retorted teasingly.

“I heard that.” Q rolled his eyes. “Go to the left, down the corridor.”

“I thought you two were married,” Tanner said, sounding confused. “It’s in your files that you are.”

“We both needed a next of kin, our files are easy to hack, well, easy for me, anyway.” Q shrugged.

“ _It’s getting really hot down here.”_ James commented.

“Ooh, do tell, thinking about me?” Q teased.

“For God’s sake.” Tanner shook his head.

“ _I’m always thinking about you, but I’m getting uncomfortably close to flames.”_

“Take your next left, 007, trust me, it may seem like I’m running you through hell, but I’m getting you out the best and safest way.”

“ _Have you thought that it’s a bit challenging to breathe here_?”

“Not in the slightest, can’t be too bad if I can still see through the cameras.”

_“Fuck you.”_

“If you’re up to it.” Q teased.

“Didn’t we talk about flirting on the job?” Tanner inquired.

“Don’t start with me, Tanner, I saw you a few days ago.” Q smirked.

“Do tell.” Eve grinned as Tanner turned pink.

“ _Yes, this sounds interesting.”_

“Q…please don’t—”

“Bond, third door on your right, staircase. Get your arse home so it can be shown some proper appreciation.” Q flirted with a smug smile at Tanner.

_“With pleasure and do continue to torture Tanner. Whatever dirt you have must be making him squirm. I wish I could see it.”_

“Oh, it is beautiful. He can’t even tell me to stop flirting now, it really is rather funny.”

_“Thank you for getting me out, Q, see you soon.”_

“I’ll be right here.” Q promised before ending the call and smirking at Tanner.

“Q, please don’t.”

“Next time, don’t go snogging people near cameras… Don’t worry, I’ve taken care of the evidence, but I know and don’t talk to me about flirting on the job, either of you.”

“Who is it?” Eve asked wit wide eyes.

“No one you need to know about.” Q promised.

“Thank you, Q.”

“I’m your friend, not a gossip whore like Eve.”

“Rude!” Eve snapped.

“True.”

“Yeah…I do love gossip.” Eve agreed.

800Q8

“Where are you going?” Eve asked as she passed by James, though she knew by his stride he was headed for Q-Branch.

“Q, obviously.”

“M wants to see you, he wants to discuss an assignment.”

“I just got back.”

“I don’t give the orders, I simply deliver them.” Eve sighed.

“Okay…” James sighed before he headed for M’s office. Tanner let him in and James smiled at him before his eyes widened. “Ooh, that’s what Q meant.”

“Shut up.”

“What did Q say?” M wondered.

“Nothing, sir.” Tanner commented, looking down at the ground, biting his lip.

“Alright, sit down, Bond.”

“Sending me out again?”

“Not so soon, but I do need to discuss this assignment with you now.” M commented, putting a file in front of James. James picked it up and opened it.

“Well this has Q all over it.” James commented.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s organized, thorough, and put together meticulously. Q’s the only person who digs this deep on a briefing file. He’s the only one who organizes this much.”

“You sound so in awe.”

“He’s bloody brilliant.” James shrugged.

“Well, human trafficking ring in a compound in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, put in the middle of no-where. It’s one of the main hubs of this trafficking group. They specialize in kidnaping, training, and selling kids and young adults to people who are willing to pay.”

“What sort of training?”

“Submissive behavior, basically they brainwash these people until they’re compliant and do whatever their owner tells them to do, from day to day things to…sexual things.”

“Slaves basically, lovely. Why are we interested in a group in America? Shouldn’t the FBI and CIA be on this?”

“Would be if their president allowed them to act. They aren’t allowed to do much that offends people. They have terrorist camps on their soil that citizens know about and they can’t do anything about it. We’re going in because they have kidnapped some children of…VIPs in our country and also I was asked a favor by a friend of mine.”

“Okay…”

“We need a team to go in under deep cover, find the source of their income and find out about their entire web so that we can dismantle it.”

“Sounds extensive.”

“It will be, that’s why I have you looking at it now.” M nodded. James flipped another page in the file and looked at the print out.

“Anthony Reed?”

“Rich politician in Scotland, who is known to like buying people to entertain him. We’ve the ability to put him under arrest and send you in in his place. You look well enough like him and I’m sure your accent will be flawless.”

“You’ve been doing your homework.”

“Q has, this has been his project for a month, don’t be angry with him, he wasn’t allowed to tell anyone.”

“I don’t get angry at him for things like that. I get angry when he does something stupid or he binges on nothing but tea for a week. We both have jobs here, we get it.”

“Well, good for you.”

“Are you sure this isn’t a job for someone a bit younger.”

“You’re old, James, but you’re not that old. I mean you’re ancient for a double-o, but in the real world you aren’t old by any means. Besides, you can pull off distinguished, manipulative, dominant, arsehole really well.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” M grinned.

“This is a two person job.”

“I know.” M nodded. “We’re trying to find someone who fits the proper profile.”

“What profile?”

“Young, capable, yet entirely believable as a submissive being.” There was a knock on the door. “Come in.” M called as soon as James closed the file.

“Hello, sir, I just came to bring you the test results for the new Walther.” Q smiled. James stood up and Q put his paperwork on M’s desk before pulling James into a sweet kiss. “Welcome home, sweetheart.” Q smiled when they pulled away. James grinned and pressed a quick peck against his lips.

“Glad to be home.” James grinned.

“Behave yourselves.”

“Like you and Tanner?” Q smirked.

“Q!” Tanner blushed and bit his lip.

“What? No one’s listening and all of us know, so who cares?” Q chuckled. “I think it’s sweet.” Tanner looked very serious all of the sudden.

“M…?”

“I know…” M nodded slowly. “Not now. Anyway, think on that, go through the information, try to get yourself prepared for the possibilities.”

“How long?”

“About a month.” M nodded. “You can go. Q, I need to talk to you about the test results if you’ve got a moment.”

“No problem.” Q smiled. “See you at home?”

“Breakfast for dinner?” James asked.

“Will there be strawberries on French toast?” Q wondered. James kissed him gently.

“Mm, and whipped cream if you’re good.”

“Then I shall endeavor to be brilliant.” Q chuckled, kissing his cheek. “See you in a while.”

“Definitely.” James grinned before he left. Q sat down and looked at M seriously.

“What do you _really_ want from me?”

“The mission… We need someone young and capable and good with computers and pretty—no offense.”

“You want me to go to America.”

“Yes, you have all the skill sets required and more. You have trust with Bond, I can’t think of anyone else who’d be—”

“Comfortable with submitting to him completely as this job would require.” Q finished for him. “They would most certainly be watching our every move. We can’t possibly act anything out, it has to be real, and I’m the only person you think would be comfortable letting him control everything.”

“Yes, and you can do everything with computers that Bond can never do. He can get you in and you can bring them to their knees.”

“He won’t like it.”

“I know.” M nodded.

“No you don’t. He will throw a fit. If you think you’ve seen him angry before, you’re wrong.”

“Q, I’ll leave it up to you, but think about it, three days. And don’t tell him, if he gets worked up and you don’t go that’s just going to be a bother.”

“Sir, is it possible that we could take a boat to America?” Q wondered.

“Sorry.”

“Damn, worth a shot.” Q sighed heavily. “I’ll consider it.”

“You do that. I won’t judge you either way.”

“I know, sir. Well, I’ll leave you two here, just don’t do anything on the desk.”

“Q!” Tanner snapped.

“Alright, I’m leaving…” Q laughed before he closed the door behind him and leaned back against it, closing his eyes. This was not a good situation to be in, not at all.

800Q8

“Fraser Island.” James commented out of the blue.

“What?” Q asked, pausing and looking up from the book he was reading.

“You wanted to go to Australia.” James smiled. “After I go out on this assignment, they’ll give me ages of time off. We could go then, I did promise I’d take you. We could sail there, just you and me, and even Rufus if he decided he could stand being on a boat. We could go, anchor off the island and count the stars.”

“I can’t see the stars very well, James.”

“You can look through my eyes, I’d be glad to show them to you.”

“I’d like that. Take some time off.” Q grinned.

“I might even make an honest house-husband of you.”

“Are you proposing?”

“Would you accept?” James smiled.

“No.”

“Why not?” He pouted.

“Because then you’ll make me a house-husband.” Q smirked.

“But you’d be a lovely house-husband.”

“That will be your job. I’m far too pretty to be kept inside. Isn’t that right Sixsmith?” Q asked. The cat instantly perked up and came across the room to curl up on Q’s lap. He liked Q best, to the point that he would wait by the door whenever James made it home first until Q came home. Q said it was because he called the cat by his proper name, James just said that Q was more feminine and that cats liked girls better. James had been slapped for that one.

“You’re getting advice from a cat?”

“A smart cat.” Q nodded, stroking Sixsmith lovingly. “Isn’t that right, baby?” There was no denying that the cat was smart, it had learned how to open doors even the ones with rounded handles and he always seemed to know exactly what was going on. Q took credit for that.

“I’m outnumbered because of a fucking cat.”

“But we love you anyway.” Q smiled. “Fraser Island?”

“Promise.”

“I’d love to go.”

“As soon as I come home.”

“Agreed.” Q nodded, trying not to bite his lip, James didn’t know that Q was going to be coming with him. Q looked down at his phone and sent two words to M.

I accept.

Report tomorrow, I’ll call you in… I’ll try to calm Bond beforehand.

Good luck with that.

I’ll need it.

800Q8

“What can I do for you, sir?” James asked, sitting down across from M.

“I need to talk to you about the Pendills assignment.”

“Of course.”

“You need a partner on this mission and I picked one that fit the bill. Smart, resourceful, young, attractive, good with a computer, and trained for the field.”

“Someone who will trust me, I hope. This can’t just be a simple act…”

“I know, and I know that they’ll trust you.”

“Who is it?” James wondered.

“You’re not going to like it.” M sighed heavily. “His alias will be Robert Daniels during the assignment, as that is the name he’s had driven into him most.” James knew that name, he’d heard it before.

“ _What’s your real name?”_

_“I don’t have one to give you. Robert Daniels, if you like. That’s the one I use should anyone get ahold of me. I’m a physicist for MI6’s engineering division, well, that’s what I’m supposed to tell everyone.”_

“No.” James snapped.

“Q is perfectly capable of—”

“I said, no. I don’t care how perfect he is for the ruddy job. I don’t care that he could pull it off, the answer is no.” James hissed, standing up in a rush.

“You don’t have a choice.” Q said, standing in the doorway. James whirled around and glared at him.

“You’re not fucking going.” James ordered.

“James, listen to reason for just a moment—” M started.

“Fuck off.”

“I’ve agreed to do this, James. We need someone in there who is good with computers, someone who can get everything in and out, someone who looks young and can fit the profile of a—”

“No, just no. You don’t understand, I can’t—”

“Can’t have me there? Can’t do what you’re going to have to do? James, you know me, I fucking trust you with my life.”

“You don’t understand what has to happen to—”

“Keep our cover? Yeah, I know. I was the idiot who did the research. They watch the people who come in and make sure they’re genuine. They’re going to want to see that you’re in control of me, that I am a good submissive little boy. They’ll want to see me do whatever you tell me to do whenever you say it. I know what this entails and I’d be surprised if there were many other people who would willingly put themselves completely into someone else’s hands. I know you, I trust you, and I love you. We can bring them down easier together.”

“I don’t want you out there. I don’t want to have to hurt you. I can’t… You’re not going, and that’s final.” James said, holding his ground. Q gently took a step forward and touched James’ cheek. “Don’t you fucking dare.” He winced away.

 _Love, trust me…_ Q whispered gently. _We’ve been working on this. I’m not going in weak and defenseless. You’ve helped me grow stronger._

_They may touch you._

_They won’t. They can’t. I’m your favorite of many, they respect that. They don’t touch other people’s property it’s one of the biggest rules in the book. I’ll be safe, it’s just you and me and if anyone comes after me I’m strong enough to stop them. You know this is smart, pull your heart out of it for just one second._

_I can’t see you hurt._

_You won’t. See what we’re doing?_ Q asked, gently running his hand down James’ chest, resting his palm over his heart. _We can speak without saying a word, I’ll know what you’re planning before you plan it, we’ll know how far everything can go. We’ll be fine. I’m right here._

_I’m scared._

_You don’t have to be, but if it makes you feel better, I am too…_

M stared between the two of them, not exactly sure what the hell was going on. The two of them seemed to be speaking to each other, the way their expressions and bodies shifted, but they never spoke a single word. M finally saw James’ shoulders go slack. “You’ll follow my lead. If I tell you to run, you’ll do it without question. If something bad happens you’ll run, are we clear?”

“Only if you do the same.”

“Q—”

“Listen that resurrection bullshit may be your thing, but I’m not taking any chances. You and I are coming home at the end of this, do you hear me?”

“Yes…”

“Are we agreed then?”

“I’m still furious.”

“I know.”

“We’ll have to have a talk about this.”

“I know.” Q nodded.

“What in the hell just happened?” M asked. “It was like you were reading each other’s minds.”

“We were, mental sparring matches are my favorite.” Q nodded. “Alright, let’s start talking this out.” He said, sitting down in a chair across from M, James slowly sitting next to him. “I’m obviously going to be doing whatever the hell I’m told, but we still need to do some planning.”

“You two will have to go in deep, get in close with the leaders of the group, make yourself look like you’re one of them, then have Q steal what he needs to and get yourselves out before they kill you.” M commented. “I suppose you two will have to discuss limits amongst yourselves.”

“As long as you don’t draw too much blood, I trust you. You’ll know if something scares me.” Q said, slowly looking at James.

“I don’t trust myself that much.”

“I do, so deal with it.”

“We’re going to have to make you look younger, Q, just a bit.”

“Simple, grey suits and a little less caution with my hair, and if I use an older, smaller set of glasses I could pass for early twenties.”

“If we all had that talent.” M shook his head. “Where are you getting the suits?”

“Already made an appointment, told him I need to go a little closer cut than last time.” He said towards James.

“Are you trying to catch everyone’s attention?”

“I’m trying to make your property look good, you need to show off a bit to them.”

“Property?”

“That’s what I _will_ be. I’m going to be your favorite, I hope, so you can treat me like a very beloved object, but I’m still an object. A sexy one I might add.”

“Q, stop.”

“I’m trying to—”

“I know what you’re doing. You’re not making me feel better. You’re not a fucking object, you’re everything and I _hate_ the idea of having to even _act_ otherwise.”

“James, I know how you feel about me, because I feel the same about you, but we can talk about this shift later, perhaps not in front of our superior.”

“Fine.”

“We have a month to go over it…we’ll be alright.” Q promised, gently wrapping his hand around James’, putting a gentle pressure on his fingers.

“I’m in the room you know?”

“Yes, I do, wait a tick.” Q commented, holding up a finger. “James, it’s going to be fine. I’ll be there to protect you.”

“I’m more worried about you not protecting yourself.”

“I can do that too you know. I’m a wonderful at multitasking.”

“Only recently.”

“I admit it’s a new development, but I can handle this. All of this comes down to trust.”

“Don’t look at me like that, you know I trust you with my life, with my mind, with my heart…”

“Trust me with you, trust me with this assignment, trust me with getting it done right, trust me with getting us both out. I do it all the time on assignments.” They looked at each other for a solid moment before James looked at M.

“What’s your ideas for this idiotic scheme?”

800Q8

“You want it tighter here?” Dan asked with wide eyes. “You didn’t strike me as the more flamboyant type.”

“Well, desperate times.” Q commented.

“I didn’t know you could be so bold.”

“I’m not, I’m young but I’m _not_ that bold. Trust me. If I didn’t have to do this, I wouldn’t.”

“You want how many in grey?”

“Three, different patterns for each, but the same size.”

“Of course.” Dan nodded, re-measuring Q.

“I shouldn’t let you go anywhere.” James commented, looking at Q. “No one has the right to look that delicious in a suit.”

“That’s rather the point. You should get one too, I want you to look your best.”

“I always look my best.”

“If that were true you’d never leave our bed.” Q smirked.

“Down, boys. As much fun as it would be to watch, I can’t have any public indecency going on in here.” Dan smiled at the two of them.

“Yes, sir.” Q had the decency to blush, but only just.

“I can have the suits done by tomorrow if that’s alright.”

“That’s lovely, Dan, thank you.”

“My pleasure. Would you like one as well, James?”

“I need a good black jacket.”

“I’ll have one done by tomorrow. Same measurements, I presume?”

“Haven’t changed.”

“I wish I could stay as fit as you. You must do nothing but run around.”

“Something like that.”

800Q8

“Gabriel?”

“Yes, James?” Q asked, looking up at him from the couch.

“Nothing I do or say…nothing at all will be real. Anything I may say, anything I might do, any way I may treat you… I don’t mean it.” Q got up and pressed a chaste kiss against James’ lips before nuzzling into his neck.

“I know, James. I know…” Q promised, his hands rubbing soothing circles against the small of James’ back.

“I might hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt me, I’m tougher than I look.”

“I’ve read some things about my role, we’re going to have to have some serious talks and a bit of—”

“Experimentation, I know, some things just aren’t normal, but we’ll figure it out.”

“We’ll need silent signals of some sort, I have to make it look like we’ve been doing this a while.”

“I know, we’ll figure it out, just, let’s be us tonight, let’s worry about all of it tomorrow. We have time to get ready.”

“I know.” James smiled gently before kissing him tenderly, deep and loving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pendills is a bay in the UP according to google maps. It's near a huge section of unoccupied land that I thought would fit my needs.   
> Much love.


	10. Wanna Fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some cussing and dirty talk in this chapter, but it shouldn't be too bad. I just feel bad for Q. Oh! And Felix is in this chapter! :)

“Fuck this…” Q said, pacing back and forth. “Why in the hell did I agree to this crazy idea? Fucking hell is it too late to go home?”

“Are you alright, Robert?”

“I bloody well am not, Mr. Anthony Reed.” Q snapped.

“Robert, stop making a scene and calm down.”

“A scene? You’re worried about me making a scene? Fuck you too.” Q snapped, still pacing.

“Robert, calm down.”

“I can’t take medicine because it messes with my head and makes me susceptible to all sorts of things and I can’t get drunk like everyone else, so don’t fucking tell me to calm down.”

“Robert, we can’t do this, we can’t draw attention like this.”

“Yes we can, because I’m fucking taking a boat, you go on ahead, I’ll catch up.” Q turned around and James grabbed Q by his shoulders, spinning him around.

“Calm. Down.” James whispered. “We’re going to be alright.”

“Yes, I know the odds of this plane falling out of the sky are eleven million to one, a very small chance of that happening, but then again ninety percent of the plane crashes in the world come back to human error and the odds of a single human—from production to the actual flight—making an error is so extremely high that it almost negates the fact that there’s an eleven million to one chance of falling out of the sky. Oh and did you know, lightning strikes in the same place twice and it seems to kill everyone around me and not me itself! I’m sorry, but you’ve never watched your mother go splat against the ceiling of a fucking plane!”

“You’re scaring people, sit in your seat.” James insisted, pushing Q out of the aisle and into his seat. He turned and slowly pulled on Q’s seatbelt. “Do you trust me?”

“I don’t trust the pilot.”

“Okay, well how about this, I’ll stay right here and we’ll both stay buckled up and curled up next to each other until we touch down, safely, in the US? We’ll be alright, Q.” James soothed.

“I know…I’m just so scared.” James sat down next to him and buckled himself up, leaning against Q and wrapping his arm around him.

“Sh… I know, sweetheart, I know. You’re alright, I’ve got you.”

“Who in their right minds wanna fly? What’s wrong with boats and trains and cars and fucking bicycles?”

“They don’t go fast enough…” James said, running his hands through Q’s hair gently. “You’re alright, sweetheart, you’re okay. You’re safe.”

“I don’t feel safe. That’s what they always say right before you fall out of the sky.”

“We haven’t even taken off yet, baby.”

“Fuck Mallory, I’m going to kill him for sending me out here. I don’t even care that I volunteered. And I’m going to post a memo with a _HUGE_ picture of Tanner and Mallory on the effing bulletin board so everyone knows and everyone who’s ever wronged me will have secrets thrown into the open and their bank accounts empty and their credit fucked.”

“Ease up on the language, tiger, there are children around.”

“The parents may glare but they teach the children those words first.” James chuckled at that.

“I need you to calm down and take a few breaths, I can’t have you having a panic attack. If only I could have given you a sedative.”

“Wouldn’t have held me under long enough and I’d still know we were flying.”

“I know, I know…just calm down, darling.”

“Is he going to be alright?” An older woman asked, sitting next to James, noticing the tears on Q’s face, his shaking hands, his quick breaths. “Looks like a panic attack.”

“He hates flying.”

“Ooh, poor dear. You know the odds of us crashing are—”

“Lady, I’m a mathematician, I know these things.” Q snapped, luckily the woman didn’t seem upset in the slightest.

“Sorry, he’s not normally so snippy, he’s the nice one of the two of us.” James commented, still trying to sooth Q.

“What happened to the poor dear?”

“He was in a plane crash last time he was in a plane.”

“Oh, dear… I suppose the cursing is worth it then.” She sighed as she buckled up.

“Tony, can we just stay here? We can sail, I want to sail. I’ll sail around the world with you.”

“I’m sorry, Robert, but we have to fly, okay, baby?” James asked, gently pulling Q closer. “Now close your eyes and breathe with me, alright? Just breathe nice and slow with me alright? That’s better, a little slower now, try to relax. Think of something nice, like Rufus or the ocean or me putting you down on our bed and licking you open—” Q let out a laugh at the dirty whisper.

“And you thought my profanity was bad for the children. Remind me that we can never become parents. Just you and me and Sixsmith, because we’d destroy poor children.”

“Oh, I don’t know. We could raise a mastermind, you know…”

“He’d probably turn criminal with our luck.” Q laughed.

“He? Already choosing the gender already? Eager much?” James teased. Q let out a small chuckle. “Look at you, breathing normally again, laughing. Maybe I should talk some more.” James whispered before pressing a gentle kiss to Q’s neck, whispering again. “Would you like me to open you up like that?” James asked gently. Any normal person would think he was pressing another reassuring kiss to Q’s neck, but Q could feel the tongue that traced a naughty pattern on his skin.

“Tony…”

“Would you want it hard and fast or slow and gentle? I could spend the rest of my life worshiping your body, bringing you right up to the edge and holding you there. You’d beg then, wouldn’t you? You’d beg me for more. But I’d make sure you felt every bit of my love before I gave in, and there is so much of it.” His tone had become more loving than filthy. “It could take me years to make you feel all of it properly. I’d enjoy every second of it, the sounds you make, the ways you move, they’re all divine.” Q shifted uncomfortably in his seat, glad that he’d slipped his cardigan into his lap for the older woman’s sake. “Getting bothered are you, my love? Do you think I could talk you into coming, right here?”

“Fuck…” Q muttered. “Yes.”

“You’d have to be quiet, complete silence or someone might figure out what we were really up to. We couldn’t have that, now could we?”

“N-no…” Q whispered.

“Would you want me to lay you out, to open you up slowly until you screamed or would you want to take control and take me apart? God you’re always so good to me…”

Q whimpered slightly and felt James’ lips against his.

“You’re in the air, you know.” James commented. Q’s eyes opened and he looked around.

“What?”

“See, look at you, no panicking and you’re in the air. I’m good.” James smiled and felt Q squeeze his hand tightly.

“You’re a bastard is what you are.” Q stated, but James could hear the gratitude in his voice. Q had desperately needed a distraction, especially during the possible turbulence of taking off.

“I know.” James grinned. “Let’s cuddle a bit, you’re heart has gone through enough today, I need you to sit back and breathe, can you do that for me?”

“I’m going to kill you when we land.”

“I know, but for now, we’re going to curl up as close as we can and you’re going to close your eyes and pretend we’re home.”

“Okay.” Q nodded, leaning against James and closing his eyes. It was worth a shot, he couldn’t deal with an attack of any kind, he needed to stay calm. Q was surprised when James’ thoughts were completely about home, about the sights and the smells and the feelings, so tangible that Q felt like he was almost there, in the couch. “I love you.”

“I know you do… Try to rest, my love.” James whispered. Q smiled and closed his eyes, relaxing against James.

800Q8

Q jerked awake with wide eyes and whimpered when the plane hit a rough bit of turbulence. Some people glanced at him and rolled their eyes, but James tucked him in closer. “Sh, I’ve got you, it’s only turbulence, just a storm, sweetheart. You’re alright.” The plane jerked again and Q pulled himself closer. “Shh, sh… I’ve got you, you’re safe.”

“Don’t let me go. Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t… I’ve got you.” James promised. The plane jerked again and Q winced, curling closer to James. “Sh, you’re alright. We’re all alright.” James promised, holding one of Q’s hands and stroking his hair with the other.

“Do you want something to drink, love?” The woman next to James asked. “It might help him relax a bit.”

“I don’t drink.” Q got out before he buried his face against James’ shoulder.

“Poor dear. Why would anyone make that poor man fly again? I wouldn’t fly if I’d gone through that.”

“Obligations came up too quickly for a boat…” James sighed.

“You two together?” She wondered with a little bit of shock. She was sure the brunette was far too young to be with the distinguished looking man at his side.

“Yes.” James nodded, still moving his hands, trying to keep Q calm.

“Sweet of you to look after him.”

“He’s a sweetheart when he’s not being an utter bastard.” Q agreed, his voice muffled against James’ shoulder and a bit shaky. He jumped and tensed when the plane shook again.

“It’s okay, sweetie… I’ve got you.” James promised. “Try to go back to sleep, we’re almost there, sweetie.”

“Okay…I’ll try.” Q whispered.

“I’ll wake you before we land, sweetheart.” James promised, pressing a kiss to the top of Q’s head. He’d cut his hair just a little bit shorter for the assignment, but he styled it messily, which made him look a bit younger, he could easily pull off being in his mid-twenties, which James thought was surely unnatural.

800Q8

“Wake up, darling.” James whispered, nudging Q gently. Q woke up and looked at James with wide eyes.

“Please tell me it’s over.”

“It isn’t. We’re coming in for a landing, might be a bit bumpy with the weather they’re having.”

“Fucking brilliant. It would do this to me. If I have a heart attack at my age I’ll be fucking pissed.”

“Again with the cursing, dear.” James commented, trying not to wince away when Q’s grip on his hand became unbearably tight. James always found it surprising when Q let it slip that he wasn’t as weak as he appeared to be, the thin, wiry frame had a lot of strength behind it.

“Don’t leave me.” Q requested. James’ heart broke for the man. The man had been in a crash and survived, he wasn’t afraid to crash, he was afraid to survive another crash and lose everyone else.

“It’s not likely that I can leave you.” James nodded towards their hands, trying to smile soothingly. Q looked down at their hands, practically welded together.

“I’m not going to apologize for that.”

“I don’t want you to.” James said, unable to feel his fingers anymore. They jerked as the plane began to lower and Q shook, his breathing too fast. “Honey, you’re not allowed to have a heart attack, do you hear me?”

“My heart will do whatever it damn well pleases to.”

“That’s my heart you’ve got beating in your chest, I would hope that you’d protect it better than how you are right now.”

“If I weren’t fucking scared out of my mind, I would kiss you for that comment.”

“Rain check?”

“If I live.”

“We’re going to be fine.” The plane jerked again and Q squeezed his eyes closed. A tear leaked from one eye and James reached up with his free hand, wiping it away tenderly. “You’re alright, my love.” James held his hand against his face and tried to think the most calming things he could think of, hoping they would help Q calm down. “When this is over, I promise you’ll never have to fly again. I’ll even make sure we sail back. Maybe we won’t go back, maybe we’ll just sail to Fraser Island and go completely off of the grid… We can skip work and disappear. We can just be you and me.”

“What about Sixsmith?” Q muttered.

“Hmm?”

“Sixsmith? What about Sixsmith?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand you.” James teased. “What’s a Sixsmith?”

“Rufus! What about Rufus? We can’t leave him behind. Do you imagine how cross he would be?” Q asked.

“Oh, you mean the fluffy tiger cat you call by the wrong name.”

“His name is Six—” He jolted as the plane touched down.

“And we’ve made it. See, I knew if I could distract you, you’d be fine. What better way for me to distract you than for me to annoy you?” Q punched him with his free arm, lightly on the shoulder before he looked down at his other hand, slowly trying to uncurl his fingers. James hand looked half-crushed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Damn, you’re stronger than you look.” James sighed, trying to bend his fingers. “You should be in charge of breaking in all of the newbies. You could literally whip them into shape.”

“You’re more efficient at it.” Q commented as James unbuckled himself and then unbuckled Q, helping him up. Q instantly wrapped his arms around James and simply leaned against his chest. “Never again.”

“Never,” James promised, pressing a gentle kiss against Q’s temple. “We’re on land again, we’ll be alright now, okay?”

“Yeah.” Q nodded.

“Alright, let’s get you out of here.”

800Q8

 _Brits._ The sign in the African American’s hand was simple. Q glanced at him and shrunk a little bit, squeezing James’ hand in warning. He knew someone deadly by a look now, he had been around one too many deadly people in his life to not know what they looked like.

 _He’s safe._ James promised. They both walked to the man in the uniform, Q looking around carefully and discreetly, ready for anything.

“Hello, Felix.”

“Bond.” The man smiled before he put the sign down and held his arms open. James smiled and let go of Q’s hand, just for a moment, to wrap his arms around Felix in a brotherly hug. “You here to cause more trouble than your worth?”

“Always, Felix.” James smirked and grabbed Q’s hand again. “Honey, this is Felix Leiter.” James said gently, noticing that there was a bit of tension in Q’s body.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ve heard stories.” Q smiled and held out his hand. He remembered James telling him about the friend he had in the CIA, a man who’d helped him survive his first assignment and several others after that. Felix took his hand and Q narrowed his eyes slightly as he shook his hand, listening.

_Who is this? They seem, strangely close. James really must be going deep if he’s brought someone with him… What in the hell is he getting into?_

“Nice to meet you.” Q nodded and let go.

“Pleasure.” He nodded, looking at Q strangely. “Shall we? I’ve already had the bags collected.”

“Do you have the grey messenger bag?” Q asked instantly.

“Yes…” Felix agreed.

“Relax, darling. I’m sure it’s taken care of.” James whispered gently, kissing Q’s temple. Felix glanced at the two of them strangely before leading them to a sleek, black car. The three of them got in, Q and James in the back seat. Felix got into the front before he turned to face them.

“James?” Felix wondered glancing at Q.

“Is this car secure?”

“Of course, it’s mine… I’m on vacation, so that means I came _here_ to help _you_ on _vacation_ , I’ll have you know. Who is this?” Q held out his hand again.

“Quartermaster, branch head of Q-Branch at MI6.”

“Felix, CIA. Quartermaster?”

“My name is what you might call top-secret. For now you can call me Robert or Q, everyone calls me Q, I like that name.” Q nodded. “I’m the intelligence in Military Intelligence, if you don’t mind me boasting a bit.”

“He’s really not boasting, he’s brilliant.” James nodded as Felix let go of Q’s hand. James took Q’s hand again, instinctually.

“You two are a thing?” Felix asked, surprised.

“For a little over a year now.” Q nodded.

“Good to see you having someone around.” Felix commented before he faced the front and started to drive. “Intelligence?”

“I’m the person in charge of weapons research and development both on the offensive and defensive. I’m also in charge of handling any technological warfare that may come about, and I’m the double-o’s handler on their missions, because I bloody well know better than anyone agents hardly know how to use their heads in the field. No offense.” Q said, reaching into the front seat and grabbing his messenger bag, opening it up and pulling out his laptop.

“You look a bit…pale, are you alright?”

“I’m always pale, but I just got off a plane flight, that may have had an impact. I hate planes.”

“Afraid of flying?” Felix chuckled.

“More afraid of falling again.” Q commented. Q gently stroked James’ hand. _Trust him?_

“To brief you on the situation, we’re here to take down a human trafficking ring that’s made a very isolated place in the Upper Peninsula their home base.”

“Why a double-o and you? I mean, if you’re the intelligence you’d think they’d keep you in a bubble.”

“I was the best man for the job. I had the knowledge and the appearance needed for the job as well as the trust needed.”

“Speaking of appearance… Did you raid a cradle, James?”

“I’m nearing thirty-five, thank you very much. He’s only seven years, eleven months older than me.”

“You look like a pup.”

“Thanks, that’s what I was aiming for. Out of curiosity, how old did you think I was?”

“Twenty-three.”

“Spot on then, that’s good.” Q nodded as he typed on his laptop quickly.

“You’re going undercover with him?”

“Yes.” James nodded.

“Won’t that be a problem, you being together?”

“The situation required that someone go in as a prospective buyer, but it had to be convincing, these people are a bit protective and at least have a decent IQ. James needs to make it look like he’s one of them, and what better than to already have ownership of someone like the products they’re selling?”

“You’re posing as James’ slave.”

“That’s one word for it. It took some convincing, but no one else felt comfortable with the idea of being handled by James.”

“Are you mentally stable? This isn’t exactly polite society, they’ll destroy you, kid.”

“They won’t touch me, not if James makes it quite clear he doesn’t like to share. I’m sure they’ll be watching, but James and I have already discussed this, we’ll be alright, and James is well within his rights in this society to beat the hell out of anyone who lays a hand on me, it’s the equivalent of stealing property.”

“I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into brainiac.”

“This isn’t my first mission.” Q said, looking down. James looked over at Q with wide eyes. “Sorry, dear, top-secret and all that. M made me swear not to tell. I’ve gone into the field…three times.”

“So when I called four months ago and they said you were sick?”

“I was working in the field… I wasn’t in too much danger, I was still in London, but…I was a bit busy to answer your call. Sorry, James.”

“Anything else you want to tell me?”

“Nope, that’s it. The last one was just M making sure I could handle the pressure… He had me kidnapped and I escaped and nearly killed my captor when he showed up.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I was a bit busy and completely isolated from technology, the bastard made sure to put me out of my element. I passed if that makes you feel better.” Q said, putting one hand in James’ and pouring all of the information to him. Now the secret was out, he wasn’t going to hide anything from James. As much as they could, they tried not to keep secrets from each other.

“Okay…” James said after a moment, once he realized Q had never been in more danger than he could have handled.

“Okay?” James nodded in reply. “Oh, and I almost forgot.” Q beamed before he pulled James into a passionate kiss, locked together for a solid moment before breaking for air.

“What did I do and what will it take for me to do it again?”

“That was for the heart comment. That was sweet of you. You know, I really had no idea how romantic agents could be until I met your soft side.”

“Soft side?” Felix asked with a laugh. “This guy? Have you met him?”

“I’ve seen him in every aspect of life, and trust me, he’s got a soft streak a mile wide, but only for me.”

“You’ve got a soft streak too.”

“Yes, once you get past the cold, posh, controlling, egotistical, and snarky exterior.”

“Well, I think you wouldn’t be half as snarky if agents brought your equipment back.”

“You’re the biggest culprit, you bastard. I’ve lost more equipment from you than anyone else I’ve ever met.” Q said, his focus returning to his laptop. “It should be a seven hour drive to the spot, damn this state is long. Amazing almost.” Q commented before he started typing quickly, filling the car with what nearly sounded like rain falling against glass. It was a beautiful sound. James leaned his head against Q’s shoulder and Q turned his head and kissed the top of James’ head, not stopping his work as he did so. “Get some sleep, you didn’t get any rest on the way here at all, you must be tired.”

“A little.”

“You realize that in two days—?”

“I’m trying not to think about it at the moment. I’ll cross that bridge when I want to.”

“Okay.” Q said, turning back to look at his screen as he worked.

“You’ll wake me if you get anything new?”

“I did my research, James, I won’t be getting anything new until we’re in the lion’s den, but _if_ anything comes up, I’ll tell you.”

“Okay… ‘Night, Q.”

“Good afternoon, James.” Q chuckled.

“Smart arse.” James teased.

“I know.” Q smiled.

Ten minutes later only Q and Felix were awake. “I’ve never seen him calm with anyone before, not like that.” Felix said quietly. Q’s fingers didn’t falter as he worked.

“It was tough, but there’s a lot of trust between us.”

“I thought he was straight.”

“He is. I’m the only gay one in this relationship, hello.” Q teased.

“How does that work?”

“Sometimes, you just love someone and it doesn’t matter what they look like or what shape they take. Sometimes it just is something you have no control over. I’m sure I’ve turned him to the dark side by now though. I’ve been told I have very talented fingers and a mouth made for more than sarcasm.”

“Who told you that?” Felix chuckled.

“James Bond. Jealous?”

“I’ve got a missus back home.”

“Not an answer, if I were a psychologist I’d tell you that meant something, but you’re an agent, your minds hardly work the same as an average mind.”

“You’re pretty smart.”

“I deal with agents every day of my life and have an IQ over one-eighty, I think I have at least a little bit of insight.” Q chuckled.

“You’re not half-bad. I wish we had someone competent watching out back. All we’ve got is suit with a bunch of rules.”

“First week of my career I committed treason… I helped a terrorist find James and my superior because he asked me to. I trusted him to get the job done, and my superior walked in on me doing it. Damn Bond, he’s always getting me into trouble.” Felix laughed loudly and James jumped slightly, opening his eyes. “Sh…honey, go to sleep. You’re alright.” Q promised, running his fingers through his hair gently.

“M’kay…” James sighed, his body slowly relaxed again.

“And he didn’t even try to shoot anyone. You really do have him wrapped around your finger don’t you?”

“I try.” Q smiled fondly, pressing a kiss to James’ forehead gently as they rode on down the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much Love.


	11. Make That Money

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some dub-con to it, it's not too graphic because I don't do graphic (sexual things at least) skip this chapter if it's not your cup of tea.  
> Two more chapters and an epilogue. Almost all of it has been written. I'm excited. :D

James looked at Q as Q finished tying his tie for him. “Are you sure? It’s not too late.”

“I trust you, James.” Q promised.

“Once we get in that car we can’t be us anymore, you realize that?”

“Of course I do.”

“Nothing I say will be real.”

“I know.” Q nodded in agreement.

“Everyone’s going to look down on you. Look at you like you’re lesser.”

“And you don’t think that that hasn’t happened before? I was a child in university, I was a _gay_ child in university who couldn’t stand anyone coming within for feet of him, who ran away at the slightest touch… A lot of people looked down on me, James, I can handle it.” Q promised before he grabbed James by his lapels and pulled him forward into a crushing kiss.

“What was that for?”

“A friendly reminder. You may be in control of me in there, but you and I both know how this really works.” Q smirked.

“Last I recalled, I’m most often in charge.”

“I let you think that. But we all know who makes a certain double-o fall apart, who makes coming home that much sweeter,” Q winked before he became serious and looked at Felix. “If I send you the code I need you right here within minutes. This is the second closest road and odds are if we’re running we won’t have time to grab a car. Do have water with you too, we may get thirsty from the running.”

“Of course, Q.” Felix smiled.

“Otherwise, enjoy your vacation.”

“I will.” Felix nodded. “Take care of him.”

“I will.” Q and James answered at the same time.

“Nothing to worry about then.” Felix stated before he got into his car and drove off. James turned to their car and opened the back door, going through his bag before pulling out a box.

“I suppose that will fit under my collar.”

“You’re going to have to leave a button undone.” James frowned. Q unbuttoned it instantly, revealing his neck to James. “I can’t…”

“Yes you can. I trust you.” Q promised. James frowned and gently lifted the object out of the box, stepping forward to fasten it around his neck, keeping a finger under the leather so it wouldn’t be too tight around Q’s throat.

“Use your talents if you have to, but don’t hurt yourself, alright?”

“I know… We’ve been practicing. I know my limits.”

“What’s your name?”

“Robert, but I don't use it because I'm not really a person anymore, and you are Anthony but I don't get to use that either… It makes it a lot easier on me, honestly,” Q’s voice was no longer posh, still British, but poorer, less of the Cambridge and more of the barman.

“Good, you’ve dropped into the accent…good.” James nodded, his voice turning decidedly Scottish in nature. “Time to go.”

“We’re going to be fine.” Q promised one last time before his whole demeanor shifted. He was only an inch shorter than James, and usually it didn’t show—James always looked larger, stronger, but Q never looked short next to him—but now Q slouched his shoulders just a little bit and fidgeted, now that he’d taken all of the confidence out of his body he looked small next to James, absolutely tiny.

800Q8

“Mr. Reed, I’m Ian Carter,” a man smiled and held out his hand to James. “Mr. Devore will see you in a half an hour.” James shook his hand and let go after a brief moment.

“Thank you.” James nodded simply as the doors opened. Q walked in, looking down at the floor as he carried in a suitcase and a duffle bag.

“Is this yours?” Ian asked, looking at Q with raised eyebrows. James smiled gently and ran his fingers through Q’s hair before resting his hand possessively on Q’s neck, squeezing with just enough pressure to make his grip look tight, but without hurting Q.

“He’s _one_ of them.” James stated. “Say hello to Mr. Carter, pet.”

“Yes, master,” Q responded, looking up and smiling slightly. “Hello, sir.”

“Oh, you’ve got a pretty one, don’t you?” Ian asked with an appreciative glance up and down Q’s form. James squeezed his neck and Q’s eyes dropped back to the floor. James smiled and ran one hand through Q’s hair before letting him go.

“He’s a good one, my favorite if I’m honest. Pet, find someone who can show you to the room, I want it to be set up before my meeting and come right back to me when you’re done.”

“Yes, master.” Q nodded before he walked away.

800Q8

“You’re interested in our products, Mr. Reed?” Max Devore asked curiously.

“Well, unfortunately the man I used to buy from is out of business. Elavs Ratserd had his company shut down, unfortunately.” James stated, sitting comfortably across from the man who stood, looking like he was trying to appear a threatening. He would have been good at it, if James were the easily shaken type. He was tall and had a strong frame, but James wasn’t at all intimidated.

“They did good work until they were caught…” Mr. Devore agreed.

“Expensive, but worth it.”

“Well, we are in the business to make money.”

“Money makes the world spin.”

“Well a politician would know that… You understand, in my line of work, why I need to make sure of your sincerity before allowing a deal of any sort to be struck.”

“Of course.” James agreed.

“I trust you will find yourself comfortable here.” It was a threat, a warning that he wasn’t to leave. “I do wonder if—” The door opened and Q stood in the doorway, looking small and a little bit fidgety. “What are you doing here?” James turned and looked at him before snapping his fingers next to his side. Q moved quickly and knelt next to James’ chair within his reach. James put his hand on the back of his neck.

“Why didn’t you knock?” James demanded, using the voice he used during interrogations, while he was still playing at being nice. A controlling voice, one any sane person would answer to before James _really_ got angry.

“Master, they told me to come in, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be impolite, master.” Q said, repentance and honesty clear in his voice. _Everything is set up in the room, your gun is hidden in the restroom under the sink. My laptop’s hidden in the same manner. I’ve scanned our room, four cameras, one that picks up sound. They are all hidden pretty well and small, but all in the bedroom, the bath is safe. I tried to access their systems, but they’re clever, I can’t get in unless I’m physically on one of their computers…_

“Are you lying to me?” James asked aloud, in regards to Q’s spoken words. They had spent days working out how to have two conversations at once. Q was naturally better at it, but he’d managed to teach James how to do it properly. _Good. We’ll have to find a way to get in…_

“No, master.” Q promised.

“I believe you… Manners, pet.” James reminded him.

“I apologize for intruding, sir.” Q said quietly.

“Very good, kitten.” James said, his voice softer as he ran his fingers gently through Q’s hair.

“He’s yours?”

“My second purchase.” James agreed.

“Fine specimen. When did you get him?”

“Four years ago.” James said, still stroking Q’s hair, Q arching slightly into the touch, like Sixsmith when he was craving attention.

“You are a bit fond of this one.”

“Hard to find one as good as him.” James commented. “Got him from Elavs Ratserd, would have paid him ten times as much for him. He doesn’t act up much, usually it’s just his childish forgetfulness, but it’s worth it with that mouth of his.”

“He looks like he’s got a mouth on him.” Mr. Devore said, getting up. “Mind if I take a look?”

“Be my guest.” _He’s going to touch you, be careful. I won’t let him go too far._ “But I don’t share.” James warned.

“I can understand why you wouldn’t want to. I have one I’m a bit more protective of too. I think we all get our favorites… I’d kill someone before I let anyone touch my favorite.” Mr. Devore said before he lifted Q’s head. Q kept his eyes down, and James recognized the slight tension in his shoulders.

“Calm down, kitten.” James commented before he let go of Q. Mr. Devore examined Q like someone might examine a purebred dog. Q kept his eyes down, but listened.

 _Almost too perfect to be a pet, not a mark on him…_ “He’s pretty, not a mark on him.”

“Almost not a mark…” James corrected.

“Really?”

“Two scars.” James commented as the man let go of Q. James had seen the scar on Q’s left leg, it was hard not to notice after having the man naked, it was old, but rough and long. Q had been embarrassed by it, James had been fascinated by it. Q instantly turned his head to the ground when Devore let go.

 _Please don’t make me show him, James._ Q pleaded.

 _I won’t, Gabriel._ James promised.

“Bet he’s good with his hands too.”

“He is.” James said truthfully.

“Well, it’s time for dinner, should we press on?”

“Sounds perfect.” James said, standing up as Mr. Devore pulled away from Q. “Come here, pet,” James called. Q got up and James put his hand on the small of Q’s back, more possessive than comforting.

800Q8

The complex was huge, the half of it Q and James were in was the showing off side of the complex. It was like being in a five-star hotel with a restaurant in it. Q knew from the information he had been able to get, the other half was a large warehouse where the kidnapped were held and trained…eventually sold. The rest of it was like a hotel for elite, the elite who were fond of buying people.

When they entered the restaurant the two of them weren’t surprised to see people, collared, some allowed to sit at the tables, some having to kneel on the floor and hope their owner would feed them, some forced under the tables for their owners, servicing them. James tried not to feel disgusted.

 _Calm down, Bond… It’s alright. We’re going to help get them out, just stay calm and don’t blow your damn cover._ Q’s voice in his head was relieving. It was utter perfection to know that Q was still so in control even while he acted so subservient. Q pulled out James’ chair, his head bowed still. James had no idea how the usually confident man could manage to look so small. James knew he could never do it. James sat down and got everything around before he nodded to the empty seat next to him.

“Sit down, pet…” James stated. Q sat down simply. Both of them were extremely aware that they were being watched. James put his hand on Q’s thigh, in any other company it would be considered indecently high up. Q froze when he felt something—no—someone stir in his head. Their mental voice didn’t hurt, it was actually almost silent, mainly just images and pictures that made for brilliant patterns. There was warmth to what voice there was, and it was almost like listening to a song.

 _Who just entered the room?_ Q asked James silently.

 _Young girl._ James said, drawing up an image of her in his head. She was short, barely fourteen by the looks of her face, an hour-glass frame, short, golden curls and bright blue eyes. _Mr. Devore’s pet by the looks of it. Must be his ‘favorite’ no one touches her or looks at her sideways. Why?_

 _Just wondering, felt something stir in the room._ Q stated. _Can’t really look around easily._

_Alright… I’ll order for you… What would you like to eat?_

800Q8

Q walked down the hallway opposite of their room, trying to better get a grasp of the security they had set up in the building. He heard footsteps around the corner and he put his head down as he turned the corner, hoping to avoid any sort of contact, but he wasn’t that lucky. A man grabbed ahold of him and shoved him against a wall. Q cringed slightly when he felt a mind force stab its way into his and he quickly put up a wall to protect himself.

“You’re too pretty to be a pet for that old man. Why don’t you play with me?” He leered at Q.

 _James, don’t panic, but I’ve been cornered. It’s under control._ Q told him. Honesty, they had promised to be honest through the mission.

 _I’m coming._ James sounded furious.

“Please let go of me, sir. I was just trying to—” The man slapped him across the face and wrapped his fingers around Q’s collar, tugging dangerously, much more pressure and he would cut off Q’s airways.

“Don’t speak unless you’re told to. You are nothing.”

“Please let go, I want my master.”

“Your master made a big mistake letting you out of his sight, such a pretty, young, weak little thing in a den of hungry lions.” The man forced Q down to his knees and reached for his flies. Q glared up at him, his mind reaching out, ready to give a command when a fist slammed against the man’s cheek. The man fell to the ground, clutching his—likely fractured—jaw.

“Don’t fucking touch what’s mine.” James said, his blue eyes burning with rage. Q whimpered slightly, more for show than anything, before he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around James’ leg, clinging. That he _did_ mean. He needed the comfort only James could give him. “Are you injured, pet? Answer me!”

“No, master.” Q answered, sitting up straight, pulling away at his tone. James ran his fingers through Q’s hair before pulling his head back.

“Did you fucking kneel for this bastard?” _Are you really alright?_

“No, master.” Q whimpered. _I’m fine… Choked me a bit, but I’m alright. Mind-raped for a moment, but I blocked him out._

“Sure looks to me like you were on your knees for him. Explain, now.” _Good… Warn me if I’m too rough._

“Master, he pushed me down. He was unexpected. I didn’t know he was up here, master. I was just going to your room, master, I swear.” _I trust you, darling. Besides you’ve been rougher in bed before. This is nothing._ Q wanted to wink, but all he could do was convey a flirtatious attitude in his tone.

“Pushed down or not, you don’t kneel to anyone but me, do you understand? No one gets to have you on your knees but me.”

“Yes, master.” Q looked down, a flush of shame coloring his cheeks at James’ tone.

“Get your arse into the room, we’re not finished with this. On your knees next to the bed. Go.” Q scrambled to his feet and left quickly as James turned back on the man who had managed to sit up. “Don’t you ever touch anything of mine again, and tell all of your sick friends that as well. Next time you’ll be taking my boot up your arse. I _don’t_ fucking share.” James warned before he headed quickly to the room. Q was on his knees next to the bed, back straight, eyes down, hands crossed behind his back. In spite of the situation James thought he looked entirely fuckable. James moved around the room silently, seemingly ignoring Q, but having a silent conversation with him all the while. “I’m not happy.”

“Sorry, master.”

“I didn’t ask for your input.” James snapped. Q’s head dropped further, but his posture didn’t change. James was shocked at his control and acting. Q should have been an actor. “I ask you to come upstairs to draw me a bath and I find you kneeling in front of someone else and no bath… Am I supposed to believe that you were pushed down into that position? Hm? You could have laid down on the ground, but no, you knelt all pleasant and submissive.” James walked forward and lifted Q’s chin, forcing him to look up at him. “You’re only ever going to be on your knees for me.”

 _I’ll second that one._ Q commented, flirtatious.

_You alright with this?_

_I’m fine, James._ Q promised. James pulled himself out of his trousers, hard and wanting, it was no labor to be that way with Q around. He nearly hesitated, not wanting to hurt Q. It was a fraction of a second, but Q knew. _James, you can’t hesitate. It’s alright._

“Open up,” James demanded before he forced himself into Q’s mouth, holding Q’s head still and setting a rough punishing pace, making Q gag. _Gabriel…_ James wasn’t sure he could do it, not when he saw tears in the corners of Q’s eyes.

 _Shh, I’ve got you. It’s okay, love. I’m not going to break._ Q promised, putting out as much of a comforting, lustful feeling into James’ mind as he could. It only took a few minutes at a punishing pace before James spilled into Q’s throat.

“Take all of it pet…all of it.” _Are you alright?_

 _I’m fine, James._ Q promised as he swallowed everything, licking James clean. Tears fell down Q’s cheeks. _Play along._ James tucked himself back in, pulling his zips up before gently wiping Q’s face. James couldn’t stand to see Q cry, even though he knew these tears were theatrical. Q never cried. The last time he’d seen Q cry, Q had been sitting next to him in medical after he’d been poisoned in the field. Q had been hysterical and it had broken his heart.

“I couldn’t have you thinking you could just bow down to anyone else could I?” James asked before pulling Q forward, pressing Q’s face to his thigh. “Shh, kitten.” James soothed as Q cried against his trousers. At the endearment, Q completely slackened and wrapped his arm around James’ leg.

“I’m sorry, master… I didn’t mean it. I wouldn’t ever betray you, master. I love you. I need you.” His voice was rough with a fucking and tears.

“I know, kitten… I’m not mad anymore.” James sighed, running his hands through Q’s hair. “No one else will dare touch you, kitten.” James soothed. “Calm down, kitten. No more sniffling. I don’t like sniffling.”

“Sorry, master, sorry.” Q said, trying to stop his sniffles.

“Now you know better, kitten. Don’t forget it or I will have to punish you properly. I know you don’t like making me upset.” Q nodded in agreement against his thigh before James pulled him back. “Good, kitten. Now go run me a bath.”

“Yes, master.” Q nodded before scrambling away, wiping his eyes as he went. James sighed heavily and shook his head, grabbing a robe before walking into the bathroom after Q.

 _Could the audio hear us in here?_ James asked after he’d closed the door.

“No, not with the water running, but I’d keep your voice down, unless you want them to hear something.” Q answered, his tone back to normal, except a little rough. James instantly moved forward and pulled Q into a hug, tears running down his face.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” James whispered, clinging onto Q.

“Why? You tasted amazing, and your hands in my hair…”

“I hurt you.”

“A rough shag can do the same and I’ve never complained.” Q snorted. “I don’t seem to recall you ever complaining when it came your way either.”

“Gabriel I made you cry—”

“Shh… You did no such thing. I did that. I cried, you didn’t _make_ me do anything. I love you.” Q promised, running his hands through James’ hair gently. “You didn’t hurt me. See?” Q asked, pulling James’ hips against his. “You’re sexy when you’re possessive, did you know that?” Q smiled, rubbing himself against James’ leg.

“Q you’re—”

“Only for you. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up, calm you down.” Q soothed, pulling James’ clothing off and leading him to the giant tub. “Stay there for a moment, I’ll be back.” Q smiled before he went to the sink and pulled up his laptop, putting it on the counter and opening it. After a few precise clicks two faces appeared.

“ _Are you in a loo?”_ Tanner asked.

“ _More importantly, are those clothes on the ground?”_ M asked.

“Hey, now. Down, boys. This is the only place without cameras, this has to be quick.” Q said as he started typing. “This is everything James I have figured out today. This is going to take a while. We have to earn a bit more trust before I can get into the warehouse. It’s heavily guarded and even with Bond and an explosive pen I don’t favor us if we go into this ‘guns blazing’ so to speak. If I learn anything else, I’ll contact you.”

 _“Thank you, Q. How’s our boy?”_ M wondered.

“He’s lovely. I’ve got to go, see you in, possibly a week.”

_“You think you can do this in a week?”_

“We’re damn good.” Q shrugged before he closed his laptop. He hid it again before he got undressed—taking off the idiotic collar—and got into the filling tub with James, straddling the older man and laying against his chest. James instantly wrapped his arms around him and buried his face against Q’s curls.

“I think you missed your calling.”

“Mm, Mum always said I embellished stories a lot, might be that in me.” Q sighed, kissing James’ neck tenderly.

“I love you.”

“I love you.” Q promised, wiping James’ face clean gently before pressing a warm kiss to his lips.

“I can’t believe that they do this to people, that they break them and sell them. Just for money, I mean, I thought some of the prostitution rings were bad, but these people, it’s like their souls are completely stripped from them. It just…”

“What’s the fun in something that doesn’t fight back, anyway?” Q wondered, trying to lighten the mood.

“Not helping.”

“Neither are you, Mr. Brooding.” Q teased. “So why don’t we stop thinking about everything out there and you make me scream? They won’t bloody know the difference. You know how vocal I can be.” Q winked.

“Just you and me?”

“That’s all that’s here right now.” Q promised.

“I can do that.” James smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter:  
> Mr. Devore is named after a character from Stephen King's Bag of Bones. I needed a good bad guy name.  
> The name Elavs Ratserd is an anagram.  
> Much Love.


	12. Just Doing What We're Told

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some guns blazing in this one. :)

James woke up at four and listened, something was moving outside of their room. He pulled Q’s naked body closer to him ever so slightly, but didn’t move otherwise and didn’t open his eyes. He tried to listen to the muffled voices outside. “…seriously, at this hour?”

“New shipment needs to be herded, don’t tell me you aren’t going to do your job just because you’re missing some beauty sleep. Get your ass down there.” That was Mr. Devore’s voice.

“Of course, sir.” The first voice replied.

“These two, what do you think of them?”

“I’ve done some research, seems Mr. Reed checks out, couldn’t find a paper trail on his pet, but then again the buyer had a rather unfortunate closure… It might have been lost.” Devore answered.

“You think they’re legitimate.”

“Have you watched them the past few days?” Devore chuckled. “I wish I had a pet as good as his though, I love my little lily, but that boy of his is a rare find: someone so pretty and such a loving little pet. Makes me wonder why he wants another.”

“Have you noticed that he doesn’t quite…punish him?”

“I don’t punish my little lily that much, besides his pet is such that it loves him, sometimes the feeling of loathing a pet has for disappointing their master is enough.” Devore paused. “You don’t trust him. I swear, he checks out. I’ve checked several times.”

“I’ve just never met anyone who spares a beating so often.”

“Have you seen the pet do anything that warrants a beating?”

“I would have beaten the hell out of any pet of mine who knelt in front of anyone else. Forced or not, I paid a huge amount of money on my pet and to have it kneel before someone else is an insult.”

“You don’t have a pet like my lily then. I can hardly stand to hit her.”

“I say we see just how far his limits are with his pet, I don’t like that he doesn’t give him a good thrashing every now and then.”

“Are you suggesting sabotage?” Devore asked.

“It’s just a pet, if he beats him to death it can always be replaced.” James heard the two of them walk away, still bickering as he pretended to be asleep. He waited several, long minutes, waiting for sleep to reclaim him.

_James looked around at MI6 with wide eyes before he instinctually headed towards Q-branch, knowing Q was waiting for him there. “Hello, James.” Q smiled when he turned to face him. “What’s wrong? I can feel it even in this dream…you’re upset.”_

_“They don’t trust me because I don’t hurt you enough.”_

_“I should have seen that coming.” Q sighed. “No matter.”_

_“No matter? They’re going to sabotage you, they’re going to give me no choice but to be angry with you.”_

_“When did you hear this?” Q wondered, his voice irritatingly calm._

_“Just now, I woke up to a noise and there were people outside talking.”_

_“Yes, did seem a bit startled. I must admit your senses are sharper than mine.” Q commented._

_“This sharing dreams thing is stranger than you simply reading my mind.”_

_“I agree, but it is fun, I mean, we could have two lives going at once. The idea of it is brilliant.” Q smiled. “Anyway, sorry, you know how I get distracted. It’s quite hard to focus in a dream… So, they want to sabotage me? How?”_

_“I don’t know, they didn’t say. They just want me to be angry enough with you that I…hurt you.”_

_“Well, I trust you not to leave any permanent damage and you know well enough which places hurt less than others. I trust you.”_

_“That’s all you’ve got to say. I have to hurt you and that’s all you bloody well have to say!?”_

_“Yes. I love you, James, and I trust you with my life. I know you would never really hurt me. So when they do make you angry through me, don’t be upset. I trust you and love you so much.”_

_“I hate hurting you, hate seeing you hurt. It kills me, Gabriel. I’ve never felt a pain like it before, knowing that I have caused you pain makes me feel like the worst sort of monster.” Q walked forward and wrapped James in a tight hug, squeezing him tightly, as comforting as he could manage._

_“You’re not a monster. We’re just doing a job, it will be over soon. It will all be over soon.”_

_“Just because we’re doing what we’re told do.” James scoffed. “’We’re just doing what we’re told’ isn’t an excuse, Q. It’s no excuse for me to treat you as I am.”_

_“James…” Q sighed heavily, pulling away and cupping James’ face. “Look at me… I mean it, look at me.” James’ blue eyes met Q’s green eyes. “You haven’t hurt me, James. I know truth from fiction. Soon, this will be over and you and I can go home and debrief. Then we can get on a boat and sail around the world and we can anchor off of Fraser Island and you can stare up at the sky and show me all of the stars through your eyes and we can count every last one of them and make love on the deck while they shine on. You and I can take a break, relax, and stop working for a good long while.”_

_“Just you and me?”_

_“Just the two of us, maybe Sixsmith though, I don’t trust Eve with him, she’ll make him one of those fat cats who laze about all day.” Q smiled._

_“Heaven forbid Rufus ever lose his ability to prowl and attack feet under blankets.” James laughed. Q smiled, happy to see James smile again. “Maybe we’ll skip the debrief and disappear. You can hide us, take us completely off the grid. They’d never find us.”_

_“I could always just send them a note from Felix that states both agents are down, then we could go off and be dead. I’ve never done it before, so you’d have to help me out on what one does when they’re dead.”_

_“Oh, the usual, get into trouble, relax…travel.”_

_“Mm, sounds lovely. It’s a date.” Q promised._

_“What happens if we’re resurrected and our jobs are gone?”_

_“Then I shall destroy whoever took them because I am obviously the best Quartermaster MI6 will ever have and they will have no choice but to take us back because they won’t want either of us against them. You’ll be the trigger and I’ll be the mastermind.”_

_“This is why I love you.”_

_“I know.”_

800Q8

“Mr. Reed, this is Mr. Zaroff.” Mr. Devore commented as several ‘gentleman’ entered the lounge. Q was on his knees, next to James’ intended seat, where James could see the whole room, along with every exit.

“Pleasure.” James nodded to the man who sat in a chair by a fireplace, cleaning a shotgun in his lap.

“I’m sure…” Mr. Zaroff commented in a rough voice. James sat down in his chair and ran his fingers through Q’s hair. Q leaned into it, his movements still slightly stiff from two days earlier when James had taken a belt to his back. It hadn’t been a bad beating, but it had looked like it. Thanks to James’ knowledge, Q was hardly bruised, only a bit tender.

 _Tell me about him. There’s something wrong about him._ James commented. Q didn’t look up at Mr. Zaroff, but he let him into his mind.

 _He buys humans in bulk, two dozen at a time._ Q explained. _Takes them to his home on an island. Spends months training them to wait on him hand and foot, then when one transgresses or fails in one of his impossible tasks he sets them loose in the forest and hunts them down for sport. That shotgun has killed hundreds of people he deemed lesser…for sport._ Q’s mental voice was harsh, bitter, angry.

_That is sick._

_You don’t know the half of it… You should see how he views it. I’d kill him myself if I had the chance._

_Stay calm, Q._

_I will._ Q promised. He could feel the young girl again, moving in the room, Devore’s slave. Q desperately felt the need to get the girl out, he could see her mind and knew that her uncanny ability to repress everything that was happening to her wouldn’t save her for much longer.

The night became full of talks about ownership and desires. Most of the men boasted, telling stories of their slaves, typically with them in the room, and when the discussion was pointed to Mr. Zaroff—who had done nothing but clean his shotgun meticulously—the room went a bit tense. Mr. Devore instantly excused his slave and James gently put his hand on Q’s neck.

“Go upstairs and get cleaned up, take your time, I want you to be spotless when I return.”

“Yes, master.” Q nearly smiled. James was giving him an excuse to work on his electronics without being suspicious. He got up quickly and left the room, heading upstairs. James listened as Mr. Zaroff spoke of the terrible things he had done and James tried not to let his contempt show towards the man. All the while the man stroked his shotgun, like it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever held in his life. James loved his guns, loved the danger and safety they provided as well as the lovely bang they made when he pulled the trigger. He had taken pleasure from killing some of the more nefarious minds in the world, but even then, killing got to him.

The only one who knew just how much killing hurt him was Q.

Q had been the only one to see the effects, to see that—rare as it was—even James Bond cried occasionally, usually when Q was holding him tightly. It hadn’t ever happened much before Q. Then James had started coming home to Q, who always knew exactly what had happened, even when James had gone dark. Q would just smile at him, clean him up if he hadn’t gone to medical, and made love to him in such a tender way it was always almost too much. Q would kiss him lovingly and pull him close…and then James would lose it. The next morning, Q would always smile and kiss his cheek, he wouldn’t ever say a word about it. With Q, James knew he could be weak, even if only for the briefest of moments. Q would catch him when he fell.

_Love you too, James._

_Get out of my head you little shit._ James nearly smiled. _Aren’t you supposed to be working?_

 _Pay attention, 007. You might miss something important._ Q retorted.

800Q8

Q turned on the shower before pulling out his laptop and putting it on the counter, opening it. “Hello, sir.” Q commented when he brought M up on the screen.

“ _I was busy, you know.”_ M commented.

“Tanner can wait.” Q teased.

“ _Q_ —!”

“Oh, sorry, my mistake. Tanner can wait, _sir_.” Q grinned.

“ _Status update?”_ M sighed heavily.

“We’ll be done tomorrow, probably on a flight late tomorrow night.” Q responded before he noticed something through the video out of the corner of his eyes. “What’s going on?”

“ _Agent gone missing, nothing for you to worry about.”_

“Who?”

“ _008, we can’t track him, he was on a mission in Mexico and he dropped off of the face of the planet three days ago. Nothing new for a double-o, but we have to put it up anyway.”_

“Give me a moment, I might be able to find him. I have a tracker on him that I can…oh…he’s pulled it out.” Q commented, looking at the half of the screen he was working on. “He’s really dropped off of the map this time. I’m sure he’ll turn up, he has this nasty habit of not following orders, so expect him to slouch in in a few days.”

“ _Of course. You’re looking a bit stiff.”_

“Trouble in paradise…well, not really, but you know what I mean.” Q shrugged.

“ _Are you alright?”_

“Sore, but fine. James takes good care of me.” Q promised.

_“Good. Wouldn’t want my most valuable asset to be sore.”_

“Watch it, you may be my boss, but I could make your world cave in around you with three lines of code.”

_“I honestly don’t care right now.”_

“That bad at HQ?”

_“Terrible without you two around. Q-branch is falling over itself and the double-os are a bit restless. It’s not a good sign when the double-os get restless..”_

“We’ll be back soon, but then we’re taking leave.”

“ _I knew you’d say that…”_

“And?”

_“I’ll damn well give it to you two of course.”_

“Good.”

“ _How’s James holding up? God, never thought I’d have to ask that before. If anyone I should be worried about you.”_

“He’ll be alright. He just doesn’t like hurting me.”

_“He loves you. I’m surprised he hasn’t asked you to marry him yet.”_

“I am too. He’s had two ring boxes hidden under a floorboard in the bedroom for five months.” Q smiled fondly. “I think it’s A, adorable that thinks he can hide things from me B, cute that he’s adorably shy and C, brilliant that I love that man to fucking bits, but he’d better grow a pair or _I_ will propose to _him_ with the rings _he_ bought.”

“ _That’s funny.”_

“You know he’s brought up proposing a few times, he keeps mentioning it and then he backs off. I think he’s afraid I’ll say no. So I’m—naturally—teasing him relentlessly.”

“ _007 scared? That’s wonderful to know that he can be scared. Did he have them engraved? Come on, Q, a little blackmail on him would be nice.”_

“I didn’t open the boxes. I only found them. I look at them sometimes when he’s gone.”

_“That’s adorable. Maybe he’ll propose after the mission.”_

“Maybe I’ll accept. Can you imagine the invitation list? All the unlucky people gathered in one spot? We’d destroy the world.” Q chuckled. “Alright, so, from what I’ve been able to gather there are two sides of the warehouse, a room with all of their information on their computers and the room where they keep people…”

_“How much do you have to get through?”_

“Three doors. The first one is guarded, so we need to be friends with them before they’ll let us in. Shooting someone will just make it difficult.”

_“If it comes to that would you be able to make it out cleanly?”_

“Odds are, it’ll be…difficult, but if it comes to that I think James and I will be able to handle it.”

“ _Think_?”

“Sir, if you saw the number of guns in this place and the strategic stronghold this place it, you would understand. They have their own army, and not the idiotic sort, along with dogs and a helicopter that has some pretty heavy artillery. I cannot calculate a scenario with a high enough favorable outcome to tell you anything with any certainty.”

“ _Always so technical. Just make sure it doesn’t come to that.”_

“It won’t, sir. We’re very good at our jobs and even better together.”

_“If he wouldn’t kill me for it, I’d send you two out together all the time. This would take months for anyone else.”_

“I know, sir. Sorry, but I have to go. I’m expected to be spotless and the hot water may run out if I don’t hurry up.”

“ _Do what you have to.”_

“Goodbye, sir.” Q said ending the link before closing his laptop and getting undressed and sighed happily when he tested the water, finding it still warm.

800Q8

Q walked slowly, looking at the floor as he walked by James’ side. James was supposed to be looking at the possible people he could choose to buy from. James was being led around, Q following, reading thoughts around him and picking out where everything was, trying to learn as much as he could. Tucking away different specks of knowledge as they continued through the warehouse. Things were going smoothly.

But when do things ever go smoothly?

800Q8

 _We have to move tonight._ Q heard James think as he walked down a hallway.

 _I agree._ Q stated. He reached into his pocket, his back to a camera as he began to type out a message to Felix.

We will need extraction tonight. Be ready to move.

Q slipped the phone back into his pocket and he continued down the hall.

“I’m telling you, you’ve got two MI6 agents in the building.” Q froze and glanced around, finding the only spot he could stand out of sight of cameras and he moved there.

“Are you sure of this?”

“Do I look like I’m lying?” Q’s eyes widened, he knew that voice.

 _Damn bastard._ Q thought angrily. _James! James! Can you hear me?_

_Yes, what’s wrong?_

_008 has betrayed us. He’s in on their operation. He’s here, and he just sold us out. We have to move now._

_Where are we going to meet?_

_Warehouse, south side. If we move quickly we can make it before they know where to find us._

_Dammit, you’re on the tenth floor._

_Don’t worry about me. I’ll bring the guns and the tech I’ll need. I’ll send the panic code to Felix._ Q said, pulling out his phone as he continued towards their room.

Flank two. 

Q ran through their room and he grabbed James’ guns before he grabbed the equipment he would need. He heard people in the hall, running towards the room. “Fuck, this is vexing.” Q looked to the door before he rolled his eyes and headed for the window.

800Q8

 _Where are you, Q? Where are you, Q?_ James thought worriedly, over and over again. Hoping Q was listening to him.

 _Shut up and don’t move._ Q called back.

_Are you safe?_

_I’m fine. Don’t move._

_Why—?_ Q dropped from the window sill, two stories above him, landing lightly on his feet. “Damn, you’re spry.” James chuckled, helping the man to his feet.

“I was timing the damn surveillance cameras.” Q sighed. “They tried to break into the room, I had to get a little crafty, that’s why I sent you here, less surveillance. Come on, we have to go.” Q said, holding out James’ gun and two spare magazines, keeping James’ other gun to himself.

“I love you.” James grinned and kissed him.

“Love you too.” Q grinned. “Follow my lead.”

“I always do.” James promised, taking Q’s hand.

“Come on.” Q smiled before both of them ran towards the entrance to the warehouse. “Stop…” They both paused. “Five, four, three, two, one… Go.” They ran around the corner and walked up to the man guarding the door. “I’ve got this, James.”

“I trust you.”

“Get on the ground, now!” The man shouted, pointing his gun at them.

 **Don’t shoot. Open the door, they aren’t the enemies.** Q suggested, touching the man’s arm. Instantly his eyes went wide and he lowered the gun and opened the door. “Thank you.” Q smiled before knocking him out, pulling James through the door and racing up the stairs. “You’ve got these ones, I’ll get the door.” James instantly raised his gun, shooting the guards as Q moved to the door, opening the keypad on the side and quickly pulling it apart.

“Clear.” James called.

“Lend me a tick.” Q stated, his voice absolutely calm before the door opened ever so slightly. “Six minds inside... Ready?”

“Ready.”

“Go.” They both pushed through the door and Q took down two men as James took down the other four. None of them had the time to react.

“I’ll watch you’re back. Work quickly.”

“I will.” Q promised, slipping his gun into his pocket before he began to work on the computers. “Ooh, these people are smart, not too smart, but they do have a few brain cells. That always make things more interesting.” Q smiled happily as he began to work.

“Glad to see you love your job.”

“You jealous?” Q smiled.

“Should I be?”

“No, my love. You should fear nothing.” Q promised. “Guards around the facility are on the move.” Q commented, looking at some of the other screens.

“Hurry up then.”

“I’m almost done.” Q nodded. “Five more seconds.”

“Okay.” James agreed. Q pulled a small drive out of the computer and slipped it into his pocket, grabbing his gun and taking James’ free hand in his free hand. They were anchoring each other in the turbulence.

“I know the best way to get out. We’ll be alright.” Q said as he ripped off the collar on his neck, he was going to have to be able to take deep breaths.

“I know we will.” James grinned as they ran out of the building. Q led the way to the corner of a building and glanced around it before pulling back. “How many?”

“Only one, and he’s mine.” Q snapped before going around the side of the building and pulled the trigger. He purposefully hit the man in his kneecap, forcing him to the ground before he pulled James around the corner. James’ eyes widened when he saw 008 trying to crawl for his gun. Q kicked it away and put his gun to his forehead. “You put James in danger you son of a bitch.” Q said, true, full hatred burning through him for the first time. He pulled the trigger and watched as the man collapsed.

“Q? Gabriel?”

“I’m fine. Bastard deserved it.” Q said before he pulled James along with him towards the surrounding forest. “But, M’s going to be pissed. I just killed a bloody double-o. So much for my promising career in espionage.”

“I recall that M gave you permission.”

“We’ll tell him it was an accident, can’t imagine what the paperwork will be like.” Q chuckled. They passed the last edge of the building, fifteen yards from the forest when Q noticed it.

“You will make for a lovely hunt.” Q turned and see Mr. Zaroff with his shotgun.

“Fuck. James, get down!” Q shouted, pushing James to the ground just as the gun went off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Zaroff is the antagonist in The Most Dangerous Game, wherein he hunts down humans for sport on his island. Bit creepy.  
> Flank two is a distress signal used in 24 by Jack Bauer (I believe it's the fifth season).  
> Much love.


	13. Everything That Kills Me...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue to follow, when I figure out how to word it...

Everything That Kills Me…

 

James shot the man between his eyes and both he and Q stood up, running into the forest. “We’ll have three minutes head-start. I’m going to try to slow them down as much as I can.” Q promised. They ran into the forest making it a few hundred yards in before James pulled them to a stop behind a large tree, leaning against it to catch a breath. To calm down and think things through. The forest was full of bright greens and dark browns. Some of the vines along the floor were purple and red. The bird chirped on in the sky casually, and somewhere water was falling against rock.

“We have to go that way to reach extraction, five and a half miles.” Q told James gently, pointing through the forest. “We’ll have to avoid any open areas, wouldn’t want them to be able to use their damn helicopter.”

“You alright?” James wondered, hearing a slight difference in Q’s tone. James was worried that it was stress from having to kill people. Q had never done that before. Q looked up at James and blinked, not understanding.

“I think I’m—oh…that’s not good.” Q commented, when he finally felt it, the pain and the warm blood running down his torso.

“Q, what’s—” James looked down at Q and saw his arm, turning red as it tried to put pressure on the multiple holes in his torso, most of them centered on his gut. “Here, let me see.”

“I didn’t even know… I didn’t notice… I—” Q’s eyes widened in shock.

“Shh, you’re alright, don’t panic, trust me, I’ve got you.” James whispered, trying not to panic himself, knowing that any sort of panic would only make things worse. He lifted Q’s arm and looked at the several holes in his shirt and the way the blood was flowing. “Alright, put your arm down on it and press as hard as you can, it will hurt, but you have to slow the bleeding. I’ve seen worse.” James stated.

“On a dead man.”

“You’re not going to die, Q.” James promised. “But we have to go, we can’t stay here. They’ll come after us.” James pulled Q forward and he winced slightly before both of them began to run. They continued to run through the forest and James and Q keep their hands tightly wound together.

“There are fifteen men on our tails…three dogs with them. I have to get rid of the dogs… Don’t let go of me. I’m not sure how well I can multitask.”

“I won’t.” James promised. Q closed his eyes, blindly following James as he reached out to one of the men’s minds.

**Kill the dogs. They are turning on you.**

Two gunshots rang through the forest and Q instantly pulled his mind away. “What is it?”

“Two of the dogs are dead… The other was out of range, it’ll be on us soon. You’re going to have to put it down. I can’t.”

“I can do that.” James promised.

“Good, I’ll start working on the others.” Q gently squeezed James’ hand.

“Don’t hurt yourself.”

“I’ll go one at a time and I won’t stay in their minds long, I promise.” Q smiled gently. Q’s mind latched out onto the man lagging behind the others just slightly. **He betrayed you. He’s working for them, he’ll kill you. Kill him first.** A gunshot rang out, followed by angry shouts and another gunshot. “Two down…” Q nodded.

“Jump.” James called. Q opened his eyes to look back down at the ground before they both heard a menacing growl. James pulled Q behind him, both of them freezing and looking around, hearing barking. A dog leapt out at them, clawing for them, teeth bared. James pulled the trigger quickly.

“They know where we are. Five miles.” Q commented as they started moving again. “I’ve been keeping track of our steps.” Q nodded before he went back to work. As he made the men behind him fall apart one at a time, he began calculations.

Five miles. Blood flow rate. Movement factors. Time needed to get to extraction. Time allowed before imminent death without medical help.

At a full on sprint, if he didn’t slow down or faint, Q knew he’d be dead before the last mile without medical attention. He looked up at James and saw something tense in his jaw and determination burning in his eyes.

James knew.

Q knew.

They weren’t going to say anything aloud. There _might_ be a chance.

“Six of them down, I can’t do much more at the moment, my head feels thoroughly violated and I need a few minutes.”

“That’s fine Q.” James promised gently. With every step the shards of metal lodged inside of him shifted and slashed into him, pain burned in his senses, but he didn’t stop.

Four and a half miles to extraction.

Four and a quarter to extraction.

Four to extraction.

Eight men dead.

One huge migraine.

Three and six eighths to extraction.

Tears were running down Q’s face. His innards were burning, throbbing in sheer agony. If his hand wasn’t pressed so hard to his gut he would have been sure that they would start spilling out of him onto the forest floor for the crows to eat. Q wondered idly if there were crows or vultures…but the distraction didn’t last.

“James stop, please stop.” Q pleaded, every step, every jolt was agony to him.

“We can’t—”

“Please James,” Q begged, his voice a whimper, full of anguish. “I need to stop.” James felt his heart shatter at the sound of the voice, weak, broken.

“Okay…alright, we can take a break.” James promised, slowing down and helping Q to sit against the base of an old, mossy tree. They were both breathing harshly as they sat together, trying to control their breaths.

“Hurts, James.” Q said, tears making lazy paths down his face.

“Shh, that’s a good thing. That’s a good thing.” James soothed, kissing Q’s forehead. He knew gunshot wounds. Pain meant you were still alive. When it started going numb was the real problem.

“Could have fooled me.” Q scoffed breathlessly, wincing.

“How bad is it?”

“Hurts like hell… Every step…hot lead digs in further. I can feel it tearing me apart.”

“Alright…okay… It’ll be fine.” James soothed gently, running his fingers through Q’s hair.

“I can’t run anymore, James. I can’t. It hurts too much.”

“Okay…” James sighed, leaning his cheek against Q’s. “I’ll carry you then. But we have to keep moving.” James said, standing up.

“I’ll slow you down.” Q protested and groaned when James hoisted him up into his arms.

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” James stated, grabbing Q’s second hand. “You push down hard. It’s going to fucking hurt, but you’ll keep more blood in, you have to keep pressure on it.” Q pushed down harder and groaned, resting his head against James’ shoulder as James began to make his way through the forest, half the pace they had been going.

Now, Q wasn’t the only one on the line.

The mission was rapidly turning into a suicide mission.

Q stared up at James’ face, seeing nothing but fire and determination like never before. His eyes were practically burning in the pupils like some terrible movie graphic, and the blue of his eyes were dark, sharp, killer. Q wouldn’t ever want to go against James when he looked like that.

James’ suit was soaked with Q’s blood.

It was all too clear in Q’s mind what had to happen and what had to be said.

Three and a third miles to extraction…

“James?” Q asked, looking up at James and wiping away the bit of blood that had escaped his nose.

“Don’t talk, Q, save it. Save your breath.”

“Put me down, James.”

“Are you in more pain?” James asked looking down at Q with wide eyes, praying he wasn’t hurting Q.

“No, but we need to stop.” Q whispered. They stopped at the edge of a small meadow, just inside the trees.

“What’s wrong, Q?” James asked worriedly, kneeling next to Q, his hands gently grazing through Q’s hair. Q was a few shades too pale and covered in his own blood and grime from the forest. He looked like death.

“Leave me here.”

“No, Q, that’s not going to happen—”

“Please James, you have to, I’m slowing you down and they’re catching up and I can’t fight them all off.”

“You don’t have to fight them all off.”

“But I _do_ have to keep you safe.”

“Shut up, Q, were’ going to be fine.” James said, reaching to pick Q up again, but Q lifted one of his crimson hands and cupped James’ cheek.

“Leave me, James.”

“Don’t you dare tell me what to do.” James snapped, afraid Q would force him away.

“I’m never going to tell you what to do, James. I don’t have to, James. I’m just going to ask.” Q nodded. James’ eyes widened. “I’m going to ask you to leave me here and run. I’m going to ask you to not make me the cause of your death. I’m going to ask you to leave so that you don’t have to watch me die. I know what that will do to you James and I can’t even begin to imagine the agony I would feel knowing I made you watch this. I’m going to ask you to finish this mission. I’m going to ask you to keep living and save all of those poor souls trapped in there and around the world and stop the possibility for more victims. I’m not going to _tell_ you to do anything, but I am going to _ask_ you to not make me die out here for nothing—other than shooting 008, who honestly deserved it. I’m asking you to let me save your life and give you time.”

James knew he was fucked, he would never be able to ignore a request from Q.

“I can’t leave you.” James said, tears welling up in his eyes.

“But you can’t see me hurt. Tell me, if our places were reversed, if you were shot and I was listening in or watching through a satellite, you’d ask me to shut it off. You wouldn’t want me to see you die, not like this.”

“You wouldn’t listen. You would _never_ listen.” James protested.

“Maybe I would if lives were at stake… I might have to.” Q sighed.

“I don’t want to leave you.”

“I know, my love, I know…” Q smiled, wiping the tears from James’ cheeks, leaving a trail of blood behind the swipe of his thumb.

“All of this for damn money, it can all burn in hell. All of it.” James snapped angrily.

“They will, but you have to get that information to someone who can use it.” Q sighed before he knew what he had to say. “007, I’ve got an assignment for you.” Q grabbed the information from his pocket and held it up. “I need you to take this to R at MI6 for me. They need to know that the password is GabrielB, the first and last letters are capitalized. Everything they need to finish the job is on this, they just have to sort through it.”

“Yes, Q.” James nodded after a moment as Q pressed the information into his hand.

“Extraction is just over three miles away. All I’m giving you is a damn gun because last time you brought the radio—that I worked tirelessly on for a full day—back in slivers. I don’t trust you with anything but your Walther.”

“Sorry about that, Q.” James commented, tears still flowing down his cheeks, but he was trying to hold it together, if not for himself, for Q. Q nodded and smiled.

“It’s alright. I’ll be in your ear as long as I can be and I’ll be watching your arse.”

“I know you will.” James nodded. Q smiled and James did his best to smile back. “We can’t break tradition can we?”

“Never.” Q smiled before he let go of his wound and reached up, cupping James’ face in his bloody hands, pulling him into a loving kiss. James poured his heart and soul into it. The last kiss he’d likely ever leave on Q’s lips and he was going to damn well make sure that Q knew exactly how much he loved him, knew that he would never stop loving him. James pulled away after they were both breathless and gently placed a sweet kiss to Q’s forehead as Q pushed back down on his wound.

“I’m coming back for you.”

“You always do.” Q smiled before the look faltered. “Dead or alive…please don’t leave me here if you have the ability to get me out. I don’t want to rot away out here, as silly and stupid as that sounds.”

“It’s not stupid.”

“Take care of the equipment, James. I want it all in one piece and that means you as well.” James hesitated for a moment, knowing what Q meant by that.

“I promise.” James nodded.

“Love you, Gabriel.”

“Love you too, James."

"I’ll be back soon.” James would do this for Q. He would do anything for Q.

“I will wait for you or try to as best as I can.” Q nodded before James stood up straight and ran, faster than he’d ever run before, hoping he could make it to Felix and back in time to do _something_ to help Q, even if it was only to hold him through his last moments.

_Stay below the cover of the trees. They are sending the helicopter out. I’ve already cautioned Felix, he’s going to hide the car in the bushes on the north side of the road, you should pop out right next to it._

_Thank you, Q._ James said, wincing at the pain he felt in Q’s mind. There was eerie silence for a few minutes before the voice broke back into James’ mind and he felt a flood of relief.

_Three men down, only four left._

_Don’t strain yourself, Q._

_Tis only a flesh wound._ Q teased.

 _You and that damn movie._ James shook his head. Hearing the helicopter a ways behind him, the sound of the propellers beating the air echoed faintly through the trees.

 _Make that three._ Q added and James rolled his eyes. _You’re making good time. They won’t catch up with you._ Q stated and then James felt something strange flash through Q’s thoughts, a sudden suffocating feeling. It felt like Q felt he was drowning. James suddenly realized what had happened. Q must have moved and one of the fragments must have cut him open…deep. His lungs were filling with blood. James closed his eyes tightly, tears streaming down his face as he ran faster. _James, I’m not going to be able to keep talking to you, you’re almost out of reach. Should be a mile left for you._

 _Q…_ There was so much he wanted to say. So much he needed to say.

 _I know, James, I know. I’ll see you soon._ Q promised before James felt Q’s mind pull away from his as it always did when he got too far away from him. James beat his personal best, the last mile took him just over five minutes. He broke out and quickly looked down the road before he sprinted to the car. He opened the door and pulled the information out.

“Where’s Q?” Felix asked, looking up at James and gasping. He was covered in gore.

“I’m going back for him. If I’m not back in less than an hour or someone comes after you get the fuck out of here.” James said before he dashed back to the woods.

“Fuck…” Felix whispered, making a quick calculation in his head. If all of that blood was Q’s and he wasn’t getting medical attention at that moment…he would be dead before James could make it a mile. “If there is a God, you shouldn’t take that boy away from that man, he’s lost enough in his life…”

800Q8

James stumbled back out of the forest and got into the car forty-five minutes later. Felix looked over at James and saw his white knuckles, sticking out against his skin and saw tears running down his blood-streaked face. “Take me to an airport.”

“Of course.” Felix said, driving away as quickly as he could. He slowly glanced at James and reached out slowly.

“Don’t _fucking_ touch me.” James snapped.

“Okay…alright…” Felix nodded, putting his hand back on the steering wheel and looking straight ahead, not daring to talk to James again.

800Q8

M sat in his office and looked at his computer. It was abnormal to go so long without Q hacking into his computer to talk to him. He sighed before he stood up and looked out of the window, his hands in his pockets. Agents went without communications sometimes, but there was something in his gut that made him feel like something had gone wrong. If M heard the door open, he didn’t react.

“Here’s the information you needed.” James’ voice said, sounding flat.

“Thank you.” M turned and his eyes widened. “Are you alright?”

“Agent down, sir.” Was James’ cold, broken answer.

“Fuck, James… I’m sorry.” M moved forward and gently touched James’ shoulder that was caked in dried blood. At the touch, the icy exterior suddenly fell apart and James would have collapsed onto the floor had M not reacted so quickly and wrapped his arms around him to hold him up, guiding him to a chair as the once unbreakable agent fell apart.

“He pushed me out of the way… He saw it coming and he pushed me down and it got him instead.” James sobbed and M had no idea what to do. He’d always appreciated James, since the first mission he’d seen him in action, he had always adored Q in a big-brother sort of way, and since James and Q had gotten together M had grown to appreciate James Bond—the person, not the agent. Q had brought out the best in him and M had appreciated it. Seeing James now, crumpled, wreaked, and lost like a boat in a hurricane M had no idea what to do. Q probably would have had the right thing to say…but Q was gone.

“Tell me what happened.” M whispered. The only way M ever knew to deal with problems was to talk about them, that’s the only way he ever successfully vented after terrifying and heartbreaking moments in his career, he only hoped it might help James.

“It was fine, we were doing perfect… The fucking 008 showed up and sold us out.”

“008?” M demanded, angrily.

“Fucker was in on it… Q heard him and we moved instantly to get the job done. We got everything we needed and started for extraction…but 008 got in the way. Q killed him.” James explained. “We were almost to the forest and Q shoved me to the ground, a man with a shotgun…he was far away, so fragments dug into Q’s torso… It was supposed to hit me, but Q…it was supposed to hit me. He didn’t even know he’d been hit until later. There was so much blood and…and…after a while he couldn’t walk anymore so I carried him, but he asked… He asked me to leave him behind… Why in the hell couldn’t I just say no to him?” James snarled.

“Shh, it’s alright…what else?” M asked, gently touching James’ shoulder. James glared at him.

“What else? He asked me to leave and come back when the information was safe. He didn’t want his body to rot in the forest. He wanted to be brought home… I ran as fast as I could, but he fucking suffocated on his own blood. He fucking drowned in his own blood because I didn’t fucking check around a corner first.”

“It wasn’t—”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” James snapped, his eyes burning behind his tears. “I went back for him…but they took his body. They took his fucking body from me and I couldn’t find it. The bastards could be doing all sorts of horrible things to his body because I couldn’t fucking say no to him and carry him out whether he kicked and screamed or not.”

“James…Q wouldn’t have wanted you to see him die.”

“Doesn’t matter, I still know how it happened.” James hissed.

“James… I…I really don’t know what to say.”

“There isn’t anything to say. Kill those damn bastards who took Q from me and bring Q’s body home.” James said, standing up.

“Where will you go?”

“Can’t go to the flat…” James shrugged. “Anywhere but there.”

“Go to mine…I won’t be in it for a few days. Take your time. We’ll…discuss a proper debrief later.”

“Don’t fuck this up. Q gave everything for this.”

800Q8

James stepped into M’s home and instantly he was greeted with a meow. James looked down at the tiger cat the rubbed against his legs and nearly collapsed, scooping him up in his arms. “Sixsmith…” James barely got out before more tears came, completely uncontrolled. The cat purred and licked at his face before pulling back, disgruntled at the taste. James got up and started to carry Sixsmith towards a guest room when Sixsmith rolled out of his grasp and took off for the door, sitting down, his tail swishing playfully. “He’s not coming back, Sixsmith.”

The cat glanced irritatingly at him and licked his front paw.

“He isn’t coming home…” James whispered, brokenly.

Some never hear the sound, but James knew that cats cried. It’s an awful sound coming from such an independent, smart creature, soft, broken, high-pitched mewls at a door that would never admit a brunette boffin.

800Q8

“James?” Eve knocked lightly on James’ office door. “May I come in?”

“It’s open.” James commented, not looking up from his paperwork as Eve entered.

“They are conducting a raid on the Pendills warehouse and two other warehouses.” Eve said gently.

“I know.” James answered.

“I asked R to do some hacking for you…um…so you didn’t have to go to the meeting. We thought it best someone told you that you were more comfortable with, but Q left you everything, so, no worries about going to talk to anyone else.”

“What are you really here for, Moneypenny?” James asked, looking up at Eve. Eve frowned, it was obvious he hadn’t been sleeping, his eyes were sunken in and, for the first time in a very long time, James looked old. There was no burn in his eyes, no twinkle of mischief, no fire of anger…they were vacant, hollow.

“I wanted to give you this.” Eve said, putting Q’s tablet on the desk. “Q left it with me, and left me with the password… He said if something happened…well, he had something for you on here. I haven’t looked at it, but I couldn’t give it to you at first…you were…anyway, um, this is yours.”

“What’s the password?”

“He said it’s your middle name.”

“My middle name?” James asked, astonished before he let out a bit of a choked, broken laugh. They had been honest with each other about many things, but James had refused to tell Q his middle name. James hated his middle name, but Q kept digging. It wasn’t on paper records or on any database or even on a birth certificate, because that was long gone. Even a possible trace of it at Skyfall had burned with the damn house. The persistent bugger had figured out his name.

“That’s what he told me. Refused to tell me what it was though. Well, I’ll leave you alone.” Eve nodded before she smiled faintly and left James alone, closing his door behind her. James gently lifted the tablet, as if afraid the machine would shatter in his hands and set it down in front of him, hitting the power button. The glow of the screen was familiar, it was the same glow that had often illuminated Q’s face as he worked late at night when someone called for help, or when he simply felt like hacking someone for stress relief purposes. It was a glow that had been abruptly turned off several times when James finally decided enough was enough and pulled Q out of his work, usually to make love to him or snog him or just to pull him against his chest to sleep.

James slowly typed in the hated seven letters.

He wanted to groan when it opened.

Q had found the dammed thing. James had no idea how, but the boffin had figured it out. The screen went white, a semi-circle chased itself before a familiar face appeared. It was pale, but not the pale color of death. He wasn’t soaked in blood, he was simply sitting in his office chair in the new grey cardigan James had gotten him that James had insisted was both warm and beautiful enough for his Q.

Q had loved it.

“Hi James…” Q smiled and waved. James’ heart constricted and grew hot all at the same time. God, was Q really that beautiful all of the time? Why hadn’t he told Q he was beautiful more often? “No, I suppose that’s not how this is supposed to work, but I don’t get the bloody conventions of life so, I guess I don’t really care all that much… You know it’s really awkward, I feel like I’m talking to myself.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair, the nervous, awkward tick that James found endearing, and sexy. He loved Q’s hair. “Um, anyway, I wanted to have something for you, just in case something happened. I know nothing will, because logically with my head and you’re brilliance we’ll be fine. But, my practical mind tells me that if anything does happen it will happen to me. I mean, you’re practically a phoenix and I have no experience in the field, so as Sherlock would say…balance of probability.”

“I’m sorry… I should have protected you.” James whispered as Q shifted.

“This is ridiculous, don’t know why I’m doing it, but it’s been bugging me…so I’m going through with it. Um, whatever happened to me, if you are watching this, it wasn’t your fault. So, if you’re doing that self-depreciation thing you always do, stop it, because it upsets me. If you are watching this, I did figure out your middle name. I cheated, of course, but I didn’t figure it out. If you’re not watching this, I promise I’ll never mention it, but you shouldn’t hate your name, James Herbert Bond. I love all of you, even your middle name.”

“Where in the hell did you dig that up you clever boy?”

“If you’re wondering, I made a personal call. A man named Kincade told me. It took some talking, but once I convinced him my intentions were pure and that I actually knew you personally I managed to get him to tell me. I still prefer computers to socialization, but I suppose people have their uses, don’t they?” Q grinned, a little, boyish smirk. “So, I told you I’d find it, and I did. I’m done boasting though, odds are I’ll never tell you I know. I know you’d prefer to keep it to yourself, so unless you’re watching this you will be none the wiser.”

“But I am watching this…” James sighed and looked down.

“So, what does one say if they may possibly be dead? I suppose I haven’t thought it through. It’s very Poe to think about such things isn’t it?” Q chuckled. “Everything will be yours, of course. I also have a few exploding pens in storage for you, just in case yours explodes at some point. I know you too well. I know you’ll take care of Sixsmith, but make sure he goes to Eve or M or someone when you’re off on missions, wouldn’t want him to think he’s been abandoned.”

“What makes you think I’ll ever go out in the field again?” James rolled his eyes.

“Um, the gift I gave you for Christmas, its control panel is on this tablet, so you might want to delete it, I wouldn’t trust anyone else with it. Even if they don’t know the passwords like you do I really wouldn’t want anyone getting ahold of the technology you have in you. Speaking of…if there is much left of me I’d really prefer it if I were brought back to England if at all possible. It’s silly,” he ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it, “but I suppose I don’t much like the thought of rotting in the middle of no-where. I don’t care if I’m put in a box or in an urn, but I suppose I just don’t want to be out there. You said it best I suppose, but hey, nothing bad is going to happen so that won’t be a problem.”

“Sorry, again, Q.” James sighed.

“I supposed if I am dead that means there are things I never got to tell you. If you don’t watch this I’ll end up telling you anyway, but if I did happen to bite it I should talk now so you at least know…” Q chuckled. “Grievances first right? You always did prefer bad news first.”

“Grievances?” James wondered, his chest constricting. What had he done to hurt Q?

“Well, I really only have one, I suppose—aside from the whole Rufus/Sixsmith argument, that I won fair and square and you know it.” Q’s eyes were warm pools of jade when he smiled. James’ heart ached. Why hadn’t he told Q how perfect he was more often? Why hadn’t he said ‘I love you’ more? Who cared if it was a bit too much sometimes? Q had loved to hear those words. “I’m only going to say you’re the biggest arse I’ve ever met. Honestly, it was my flat before it was ours, you know. I love you to bits, but you are an idiot.” Q smiled an endearing smile before sighing. “You should damn well know that the damn lose floorboard in the bedroom was _my_ place to hide things, idiot.”

Oh God… James’ heart skipped a beat and his eyes widened.

“Five months James? How long have they been down there really? I mean, I was just going to put a project down there and lo and behold you stowed away two ring boxes. I’ve been waiting you bloody idiot.” Q grinned, shaking his head. “You keep playing at asking, teasing at it and I can do nothing but tease back hoping that one day you’d have the bollocks to really ask me. If you are watching this, that’s the only fucking grievance I have with you. Those damn rings have been taunting the hell out of me. You have no idea how many times I just wanted to look at them—I haven’t by the way, but I was tempted. And then all those damn times you stopped to tie your shoes… You’ve had me on my toes for months, James!” Q sounded absolutely exasperated.

“I was afraid…”

“James, I’d say yes, you know.” Q smiled. “Gabriel Benjamin Bond and James Herbert Shaw, has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”

“Why the bloody hell didn’t I ask you?”

“I mean, you’d still be James Bond and I’d still be Q to the real world, but I love the idea. Alec as a best man, you’re stag night will probably involve bombings and more drinking than any sane person would ever attempt. I’d end up out with Tanner and Eve and they’d try to get me to drink, but God knows I wouldn’t. I’d have to go to Louie’s so he knew to make me non-alcoholic beverages.” Q smiled. “So, since this mission should be no problem I’m expecting a ring as soon as we come home. Romantic or not I better have a damn ring on my finger soon before I propose to you with those rings. I don’t care about the wedding, but I am very curious to see what you’ve picked out.”

“I should have proposed to you… I had plans you know… I was going to… God could you just imagine the damage one wedding would do. Whether in attendance or not, you know everyone at MI6 would be drunk off their arses in celebration.”

“Enough with the grievances though, can’t be bothered with them. It did feel nice to rant about that though, been on my chest a while. Even if this is never watched, this does serve a purpose, so that’s something. On to the good things.” Q sighed and looked puzzled for a moment. “You know I really don’t know what the hell to say now. So many good things but I can never find the words to breathe life into them, I suppose. It’s like I love you is not enough. I mean, it’s true, but it’s so much more than that, you know? Psychologists might say I’m a bit too dependent on you, but fuck them they’ve never been in love.” Q chuckled. “You know, sometimes you make me feel like I’m a fifteen year old girl, it’s despicable how emotional I become around you. I mean, God, you were the first damn person touch me in decades, God I still get butterflies every time you touch me.

“I know, I’m a fucking girl, but I suppose that happens sometimes doesn’t it? James you went nearly three dates without kissing me. You’re God’s gift to mankind and you didn’t even kiss me without asking my permission. Could you be more perfect? You might have thought it was silly, but that gentle press of lips, nothing more, just a little bit of pressure is still up there among my favorite kisses. Love, just doesn’t cut it for you I guess.”

“I know the feeling… If it makes you feel better, I’m a girl around you too, my love.” James sighed.

“I just… If something does happen, I want you to be happy alright? I guess that’s all I can ever hope for if I do end up dead or maimed or seriously injured.” Q giggled. “Sorry, Harry Potter reference, remember watching that? That was an amazing weekend, all of them at once… Anyway, stay happy or at least find a way to be happy. I’m sure Sixsmith would love to keep you company. Love someone if that keeps you happy. Don’t just sulk around, I know you will for a while, but I want you to be happy again if I die. I probably won’t, but you need to hear it if I do. Go blow something up or spend some time in the Bahamas or beat the hell out of Alec… Just, I don’t know, find something to keep you happy. The world mustn’t end just because I’m not in it.”

“But it might.” James commented with a nod.

“So, um, yeah. I really don’t know what to say. I should really be working and getting ready for this assignment. M wants me to take the damn range test again, even though I shot better than some of the double-os. He thinks it was a fluke, but boffins can shoot too. I beat Alec and 008 by the way, all because of you. Thanks for that…” Q grinned. “Well, if you’re not watching this that’s lovely, but if you are, just know I love you. I know you don’t believe in it and you know I’d never push you, but I think we’ll see each other again if I do end up dead. God willing or not I’ll drag you wherever I end up. You know how stubborn I can be. Love you.” Q grinned before the screen went black with one touch of his finger on his keyboard.

James sat back in his seat. If there was a God, there was no way He would ever leave Q out in the cold. James would understand if he went straight to hell without passing GO, but Q didn’t deserve the same fate, not in the slightest.

Part of him wanted to cry, but there was nothing left to cry. He was just empty and feeling like a fool for believing that he could fall in love without life trying to take it away from him. There was a knock on the door and James looked up.

“Come in.” James called.

“James, if you want to watch…they’re taking them down. If you want to stay here, that’s fine too, but…”

“I think it would make me quite happy to watch them die.” James commented. Q had said to do whatever made him happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I've seen much worse." "On a dead man." quote comes from Merlin.  
> "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." is a quote from Gone With the Wind, it just sort of happened.  
> Tis only a flesh wound comes from Monty Python.  
> The way Sixsmith stays at the door for Q came from the movie Return to Me (if ever there were a good Chick-flic...that's it)  
> James' middle name came from an internet search that I picked, it was a funny name too, so it worked.  
> See you on the last chapter... Unless you're angry with me...you know...  
> Much love.


	14. Epilogue: Counting Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done...and I am content, ish. There may or may not be changes done to this someday, but right now it's just done.  
> Thank you for following me through this. :)

Epilogue:

Counting Stars

 

“So, where are we going now?”

“Fraser Island.” James answered from the wheel of the sail boat. It wasn’t small, but it wasn’t huge and it glided smoothly across the waves. James’ shirt blew a little bit in the wind.

“Why?”

“I promised that I’d take someone special there.” James smiled gently.

“Should I be jealous?” James smiled and left the helm and pressed a loving kiss against lips of the man in the lounging chair.

“Never, my love.” James grinned. “Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine, doesn’t hurt anymore…not unless I do something stupid.” Q smiled pulling him closer. James gently ran his hand over Q’s torso, over the scars, gently, tenderly.

“Good.” James smiled, happy with a lucky twist of fate.

_8Three Months Earlier8_

“James…” R whispered with wide eyes.

“What?” James asked. “Did they find Q’s body?”

“Yes, but they found a bit more then that…” R grinned.

“What?” James wondered before following R quickly to a large screen to see that Q was on it, small and pale in a hospital-like bed, blood slowly dripping into him from a bag, terrible stitching jobs done across his chest. His breathing was slow ragged. “He’s alive.” James breathed, his whole body trembling slightly. Eve ran forward and grabbed him gently, trying to keep him stable.

“Calm down, James, can’t have you passing out. They’re bringing him home, James. He’s coming home.” Eve soothed gently.

“He’s alive.”

Ten hours later a plane landed with Q onboard, unconscious, but very much alive and James was standing in the entry way of MI6 when a fragile body was brought through the front door on a gurney. James was instantly at his side and put his hand in Q’s. He felt warmth in that hand and his heart leapt into his throat. His breathing was struggling, coming in mangled, broken gasps and James’ heart broke. “Is he going to be alright?”

“We need to get him into surgery. They did enough to save his life but they did a shit job trying to put him back together… Unfortunately, we’re going to have to open him back up again and do it right.” They said as they ran down the halls towards medical.

“Is he going to be alright?”

“He’ll be fine, James.” They soothed. James lifted Q’s hand up to his lips and gently pressed a kiss there. “You’ll have to stay out here, we promise we’ll have someone tell you how he’s doing, alright? We promise.” They called before Q was taken away from James’ side again.

James had never spent so much willing time in medical before. Eve sat next to him the whole time, quiet and waiting. The surgery took too long in James’ opinion. A doctor walked out towards James, he’d obviously changed out of his surgery clothes. James leapt to his feet when he saw Q’s unconscious body being moved to a different room. “Calm down, Bond.” The doctor said, gently putting his hand on James’ shoulder. “He’s not going anywhere, son.” The doctor promised.

“Is he alright?”

“He’s fine. He’s going to be unconscious for a while. They did a shit job fixing him up, but at least it kept him alive. We had to remove his left kidney, it was far too damaged to be left there. His intestines were nicked in a few places, but that will heal, his liver took a bit of a hit, but that will recover as well. His right lung is…fucked up… We’ve put it back together, but it is having trouble expanding on its own, so we’ll have to keep him on a Ventilator until he can use that lung again. It’s a bit unnerving to some people, but he’ll be alright. There’s a lot of damaged tissue, but he should heal up just fine. Might take him a few months to gain his full mobility back, but if he takes it easy for a bit we can get him around. I think we should just be thankful the shotgun was as far away as it was and he was angled the way he was, it was miracle nothing worse happened to him.”

“Can I go see him?”

“Yeah…you can stay with him as long as you like.” The doctor promised with a tired smile. “Come on.” He said leading James to Q’s room. James instantly walked into the room and sat next to Q’s side, lacing his fingers with Q’s.

“Blood?” James asked, looking at the bag they were feeding into Q’s veins.

“He lost a bit in surgery, but he’ll be alright. It was not as bad as what he lost before.”

“Good.” James whispered, kissing Q’s forehead and running his free fingers through Q’s hair lovingly. “Don’t you dare do this to me ever again.” James whispered. The tube that was forced down Q’s throat and taped up around his mouth was a bit unnerving. A machine made a noise, a puff, and Q’s lungs were forced up and then the air was taken from them for the machine to puff again. It was frightening to think of what could happen if the damn machine gave out, frightening to watch something force Q to stay alive.

“I’ll leave you here with him. There will be doctors in and out a lot to check on him, just don’t shoot them.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem, 007.” The doctor nodded before he left. Eve appeared in the doorway and looked at Q with a small smile. She walked in and set his glasses down on the side table.

“It’s a set he keeps in his desk, thought he might want them when he woke up.” Eve smiled gently at James, even knowing he wouldn’t look up at her. “He’s so small… I mean, he’s always been skinny but…I’ve never seen him look so… Anyway… If you need anything… I’ll make sure to bring by clothes and food, but if you need anything else… Hope he gets better soon.”

“Thank you, Eve.”

“You’re welcome.” Eve nodded before she left.

Q opened his eyes three days later and his hand instantly reached for the tube in his throat in panic. “No, no, don’t do that.” James protested, grabbing Q’s wrists and slowly lowering them. Q turned and blinked at James, his eyes wide and unseeing. “Here, keep your hands down and I’ll put on your glasses.” Q left his hands limp and James slipped Q’s glasses on. Instantly Q’s green eyes went from confusion to joy. He reached again for the tube but James stopped him. “Honey that’s what’s keeping you breathing, please don’t pull it out.” James pleaded. Q’s eyes were full of resignation and James let go of him before running his hands through his hair. “You’re alright, you’re safe.” Q grabbed James hand and his nose wrinkled before he sighed and began to tap on James’ hand.

 _James._ Q tapped out in Morse Code.

“I’m here…” James promised. “Is your head alright?” James asked concerned.

 _Medicine._ Q tapped out slowly. The message was clear, the medicine was making it impossible for him to communicate with his mind.

“Good…okay…” James sighed, relieved, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Q’s forehead. Q leaned into the touch and then winced when the Ventilator forced air into his lungs. “Feel alright?”

_Weird._

“Okay…” James said, looking at Q and running his hands through his curly locks. “God…Q, never…never do that to me again. I can’t… I thought… You were…” Q squeezed his arm tightly, a silent reminder that he was alright, that he was alive. James collapsed forwards and pressed his face against Q’s neck, sobbing against him. Q leaned his head closer to him and ran his hand up and down James’ back in a soothing pattern, his other hand tapping out a rhythm on James’ arm.

_I’m here. I’m here…_

James sobbed against him and Q continued to gently rub soothing circles across every inch he could reach. They held onto each other for an unknowable amount of time before James’ tears dried up and he slowly sat up. “I should call the doctor…sorry.” James suddenly realized and hit a button before trying to wipe at his eyes, but Q reached up and tenderly wiped away the tears before tangling his fingers with James’.

“What is wron—oh, nice to see you awake, Q.” The doctor smiled before walking to the bedside and checking Q over. “Are you in any pain?” Q tapped out his answer on James’ hand.

“Yes,” James answered for him, frowning at Q’s answer.

“Scale of one-to-ten?” The doctor asked, realizing that Q could do more than just nod.

“Two.” James answered with a sigh of relief. “He says he doesn’t like the Ventilator much.”

“Not many people do when they’re awake.” The doctor agreed. “Anything that you can feel off?”

“He says ‘there’s a tube down my fucking throat’ his words, not mine.”

“You’re lung wasn’t functioning, we couldn’t risk the possibility of you ceasing to breathe, it was necessary. I can take it out, but your lung is still healing, it will be hard for you to breathe. It will take effort.”

“He says he wants it out.” James stated before Q had even started tapping. Q looked at him and his eyes crinkled with warmth.

“You have even the slightest problems and I’ll do it all over again, just as well, I’ll keep you on oxygen, alright?” Q nodded and the doctor smiled before walking him through the process and taking the tube out of Q’s throat, making Q cough and splutter, his wounds aching. “Relax…relax, you’re alright.” The doctor soothed as he hooked Q up to oxygen, making sure it flowed into his nose regularly. “Take some breaths for me, nice and easy and I’ll get you some ice for your throat.” The doctor smiled, listening to Q’s lungs as he took a few labored, but good breaths. “You’re doing well, but we’ll make sure to watch you when you sleep, wouldn’t want you to stop breathing. I’ll go get some ice for you. Try not to talk, your voice will definitely hurt without some sort of liquid on it. James’ll keep you company.” The doctor got up and left the room.

“You alright, sweetheart?” James asked, holding his hands gently. Q smiled and nodded before he coughed. Instantly he winced and covered his torso with his arms. “Easy…easy.” James warned, gently holding Q’s shoulders down so he wouldn’t move too much. “Calm down…” Q took a few breaths before he relaxed his arms again, taking them off of his wounded middle. “There you go…better?” Q nodded and smiled slightly as the doctor returned with a cup of ice chips.

“You doing alright?” The doctor asked, seeing the tension in Q’s body. Q nodded and took a few slow breaths. “Good, have one at a time,” he offered the cup to Q and Q pulled it close and putting a single chip into his mouth. “Don’t have too many, they might make you queasy.” Q sighed happily when he felt the cold droplets of water ran down his throat. Q took a minute before he turned and looked at James.

“James…hi.” Q’s voice was rough and nearly an octave lower than normal.

“Hi, sweetheart.” James smiled and kissed his cheek gently.

“How are your lungs feeling?”

“Tired. Like…something heavy’s on them.”

“If it gets worse, tell me.” The doctor nodded. “Nothing too stressful. In a few days you can get up and move around, but I really don’t want you to hurt yourself. You’re going to be sore and even though you’re a stubborn kid, I really want you to take it easy. Rest. You’ll be able to walk around, but don’t go around trying to lift things and don’t go twisting your upper half, I put a lot of effort to putting you back together.”

“Trust me, I’m not running anywhere anytime soon.” Q promised.

“Good, you are a better patient than James.” The doctor smiled. “I’m sure if you need any heavy lifting done James will help you. If you need anything call me, we’ll be in and out a lot, but we’ll try not to bother you too much.”

“I’ll take care of him.” James promised.

“I don’t doubt it. No funny business though, not until he heals up a bit more.”

“I’ll take care of him.” James repeated.

“Good, I’ll let you two have some time.” He nodded before he left the room and closed the door. James grabbed Q’s hands gently.

“You alright?”

“I’m fine, sweetheart.”

“How did you…how in the hell…? You were…so…”

“I almost didn’t make it…” Q said, before he slipped another chip into his mouth, trying to sooth his throat. “They were chasing you with a helicopter, but I forced them to land in the empty area in front of me… I couldn’t control anyone after that stunt, but I told them I was Quartermaster and that you fell off a cliff.”

“You told them I was dead?”

“Worked…before they had me on the helicopter, I was out… Woke up here. So, apparently I’m a good liar.” Q stated.

“I went back for you, I thought they stole your body.”

“They did…then, apparently, they did a shitty job putting it back together.” Q sighed. “You came back right then?”

“Of course I did. I wasn’t going to leave you behind.” James promised.

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t bring you back…”

“Well, at least I’m alive.”

“There’s that.” James grinned and pressed his lips against Q’s. Q pulled away.

“Ew. You realize I haven’t brushed my teeth in—”

“I couldn’t give a damn. You’re alive.” James whispered before he kissed Q again.

“When I’m not tired, I’m going to brush my teeth, then I’ll give you a proper kiss.” Q promised. “I hate to cut it short, but I’m tired.”

“You can sleep.”

“No, _we_ can, you look exhausted.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“I didn’t say you have to.” Q said, before sliding over, groaning slightly.

“Q, don’t!” James reached out for Q instantly.

“I’m okay, I’m okay.” Q promised before he patted the open side of the bed. “Lay down here, I want you next to me. I can’t cuddle, but I need you close.”

“Are you sure?”

“James Bond, here,” he gestured to the open space, “ _now_.” James smiled and climbed up onto the bed, laying on his side close to Q, making sure he didn’t have any of the lines running into Q’s body under him. He slid close to Q and rested his chin on Q’s shoulder. Q grabbed James’ hand and leaned against James’ hair. “Love you, James.”

“Love you, Q. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me, Q.” James begged, taking in Q’s scent to reassure himself that Q was really there.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.” Q promised. “You’re not going to lose me that easily, baby.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

_800Q8_

“James, it’s beautiful.” Q smiled warmly looking out at the crystal blue water that was slowly turning an exquisite, burnt-orange color as the sun began to sink out of sight, leaving only red light in the sky. James sat behind him in the sand, holding his back against his chest.

“I’ve seen better views.”

“I doubt it.” Q smiled before he turned his head to look at James. “You know, I’ve found where you got your eyes.”

“Really?”

“The ocean. Sometimes they’re bright, sometimes they’re stormy, but they’re always stunning.”

“You’ll make me blush.” James teased before kissing Q languidly.

“Thanks for bringing me here, James.”

“No problem.” James grinned. Q twisted in his arms and kissed James as he slowly pushed him back into the sand. He gently nibbled at James’ bottom lip before James’ mouth opened under his. The kiss was slow, full of love and passion and lasting until there was no air left in their lungs. Q then began to kiss and nibble along James’ jawline as his hands moved up and down James’ chest, unbuttoning the buttons of his shirt and running his hands over the smooth muscles.

“We should go swimming tomorrow.” Q commented after a while as he listened to the waves hit the shore.

“I agree.” James smiled, tangling his fingers with Q’s. Q snuggled against James’ chest and sighed happily. James pulled his arms tighter around Q. “Look up, Gabe.” Q turned is cheek away from James’ chest and looked up at the sky. He could see some bright stars shining in the sky. “No, _really,_ look.”

“They’re amazing. There are so many of them…” Q smiled, looking into James’ mind as he looked up at the stars, seeing the view James’ eyes could see better than his. Q couldn’t see anything up close without his glasses, but since the crash he’d never been able to see well enough in the dark to see more than just black and a few speckles of light. Through James, the sky wasn’t just black, it had patches of dark blue and violet and millions of stars bright and dim strewn across it. “Thank you, James.”

“No problem, love.”

“You know…for someone who has no regard for equipment or his own body, you sure do your damnedest to take care of me. You even let me borrow your eyes, pretty sweet of you.”

“Some things are beautiful and should be treated as such.” James kissed the top of his head gently before looking back up at the sky so Q could see it. A shooting star—really just a hunk of rock crossing through the atmosphere—streaked across the sky.

“Look! Did you see it?” Q asked, before he scoffed. “Of course you saw it, it was in your eyes. God, I’m an idiot. Sometimes I forget where you start and I end. I haven’t seen that since I was a kid, seems like centuries ago. I forget that a shooting star isn’t just a thing to tattoo on your back to cover a scar.”

“I like yours better.” James chuckled, slipping a hand under Q’s shirt and gently stroking the comet on Q’s back.

“Mm, you would.” Q chuckled, pressing a kiss against James’ chest and closing his eyes as he rested against him, taking in the stars purely from James’ mind.

“You know…you’ve done the impossible, Gabriel. You’ve made me different, not something easily done to a double-o. You’ve earned my trust, also not something easy to do.”

“I don’t take it lightly either.” Q promised. He valued James’ trust just as much as he valued his love. He knew James didn’t trust easily, not at all.

“I know, that’s part of the reason why I trust you so much…” James grinned, running his fingers through Q’s hair, feeling him go more lax against his body in contentment. “I can’t lose you Q. I found that out the hard way…”

“You survived.”

“You didn’t see me.” James stated.

“I’m not going to leave you again.” Q promised. “You’re stuck with me.”

“I don’t mind that so much.” James promised, letting go of Q. “In fact, I don’t ever want you to leave.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Marry me?” Q sat up and looked down at James, whose hand had pulled a box from his pocket.

“Are you really asking this time?” Q wondered with a warm smile.

“Yes.” James grinned.

“Yes.” Q promised before he pressed a kiss to James’ lips, his hands weaving through his hair and holding him close. James held Q close for a long moment before Q pulled away. “You should have asked me ages ago.”

“Sorry, love. I was afraid.”

“Glad that I can intimidate a double-o.” Q grinned.

“Well, you are quite an intimidating person, especially in your pajamas.”

“I know.” Q winked before James sat them both up. He slipped a box out of his pocket and held it out to Q, opening it for him and slipping the ring out of it. There was just enough light in the sky to reveal a modest gold band, and the faint hint of etching on the inside. “You got them engraved?” Q asked as James took his left hand.

“If ever two were one, then surely we.” James smiled gently, slipping the ring onto Q’s hand before pressing a gentle kiss to it.

“You are a hopeless romantic.”

“Don’t tell anyone.” James winked as Q took the other ring out of James’ pocket, slipping it on James’ finger and kissing it gently.

“I won’t, Mr. Shaw.”

“That a promise, Mr. Bond?” James asked with a smile.

“Possibly.” Q grinned before pressing a gentle kiss against James’ lips. “I love you.”

“I love you.” James smiled before kissing him again, this one a little more heated.

“James?”

“Yes, my love.”

“Take me to bed before we get sand everywhere.”

“With pleasure, Gabriel.” James said before standing up and pulling Q up into his arms. This time there was no blood between them, just their intermingled breaths as they brushed kisses against each other lovingly, tender. If there was pain, Q didn’t notice it. For a moment there was nothing but them, sand, ocean waves, gentle kisses, matching golden rings, and a span of sky strewn with countless stars.

[ ](http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&docid=OjoM_b7S5S9sOM&tbnid=IgilqggA9k947M:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Ftwanight.org%2F%3Fid%3D3002935&ei=yO5KU5uoBsjayAG46oGoDA&bvm=bv.64542518,d.b2I&psig=AFQjCNFXYYwyGkwzvsZmuPfAJfv-G7L9vA&ust=1397506025123594)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The inscription is from To My Dear and Loving Husband By Anne Bradstreet... I just liked that one line for these two, especially with the whole mind-meld thing going for them. :D  
> Much love.


End file.
